


Invisible

by LoveMeThatsAllIAskOfYou



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Chronic Illness, Falling In Love, Insecurity, M/M, Mundane Magnus Bane/Mundane Alec Lightwood, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Pain, Past Rape/Non-con, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 13:40:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 54,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12366936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveMeThatsAllIAskOfYou/pseuds/LoveMeThatsAllIAskOfYou
Summary: AU Mundane!Malec: Nothing has turned out the way Alec Lightwood planned.  Forced to take time from his job as his health declines, he finds solace in his family and new friends.  The possibility of new love always brightens someone's day.  But will pain and insecurity prevent Alec from letting himself be loved?





	1. Heartbreak to Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> This is my first AU fic and my first multi-chapter story in a long time. I hope you like it. 
> 
> Just a reminder that everyone is mundane. I think I tagged all the characters I intend to use. 
> 
>    
> Take care.
> 
> Also, there is an Easter egg in my fic from my favorite childhood TV show. Can anyone guess? You'll be my favorite forever. <3

Alec wasn't sure how they found themselves in this argument. Ever since his health deteriorated, the foundation of their relationship was falling apart. He didn't want to believe the guy who he thought he loved could be so unsupportive. 

"This is hard for you, Scott? Really? How is it you always make everything about you?" 

"Do have any idea what it is like to have a boyfriend who is sick all the time? You don't go to parties. All you do is go to work, read, and sleep. Alec, I'm in college. We deserve to live a little." 

He turned around to face him. Alec's eyes narrowed. 

"I'm the one who is in pain every day. I can't even remember the last time I ate something solid. I'm the one who spent last night in the emergency room. Where were you? You don't have to answer because I know, with your best friend," he angrily pointed his finger in Scott's direction before his shoulders slumped, "Why can't you be sympathetic? I didn't ask for this. I needed my boyfriend, and you weren't there."

Scott walked past him to the door and snatched his jacket from the coatrack. 

"I'm not going to sit here while you continue to guilt trip me. I'm a 21 years old finance major, not your caretaker. I'm not responsible for fixing you."

"Fine. Go ahead and leave. At least you get the choice. I'm stuck here with the uncertainty and pain. You are not the victim here. I shouldn't have to beg for my boyfriend to support me. If you want out, get out now. I don't have the time nor energy to deal with your drama. You are either with me or not. The ball is in your court." 

"Stop being unreasonable," he gripped the doorknob tightly, "You do have a flair for the dramatics. Call me when you've calmed down." 

Scott swung open the door, only to slam it shut once he passed through. 

Alec didn't know what to do or how things had become so complicated. Growing up, he was sick more often than not. Nothing changed it, no matter how often he worked out or ate healthily. In some cases, it made the situation worse. He cursed his weakened immune system. 

Alec was close to his siblings: Isabelle, Jace, and Max. He didn't want to tell them that he went to the emergency room. Last time, Isabelle decided he needed someone to take care of him. She volunteered. He still couldn't tell what was worse: the vomiting or her food. 

He was used to the hospital. The smell didn't bother him much anymore. He spent many nights by himself hooked to IV fluids and various other medications. Scott accompanied him once or twice. When the episodes occurred more than once a month, Scott grew tired of waiting rooms and hospital cafeteria food. Alec was just as frustrated as Scott. He had no idea what was happening inside his body. Either the exhaustion had seeped in, or the magnitude of the fight he had with Scott hit him, but he started to cry. How did this become his life? A man could only take so much disappointment.

Alec pulled out this phone, decided he needed company even if said company may poison him with under-cooked food. Once he heard the ring through the earpiece, he began to second-guess his choice. 

"Hello, big brother. You never call on a weekday. Is everything all right?" 

It was a mystery to him how Izzy always knew how he was feeling. 

"Yeah. I was wondering if you were free. I..., Izzy could you please come over?"

"Alec, what's wrong?"

"I spent last night in the hospital. Plus, Scott and I got into a fight about twenty minutes ago. I don't feel like being alone." 

He had to pull the phone back when she responded, 

"YOU WERE IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM LAST NIGHT, AND HE LEFT YOU HOME ALONE. ARE YOU SERIOUS?" 

"Izzy, calm down." 

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down. If this were my boyfriend, I wouldn't let him deal with this alone. Why didn't you call me, or Jace? You know we'd sit by your side." 

Alec sighed, he knew in the back of his mind that if it were Scott in this position, Alec would be bugging doctors. Asking questions. He would do what he could to make his boyfriend comfortable. 

"Well, Iz, I guess you are just a better boyfriend than Scott. I didn't want to burden you." 

He meant it as a joke, but she agreed. 

"You are never a burden, Alec. Anyone is a better boyfriend than Scott. I don't know what you see in him. He is never there for you. He complains that you read too much, but you never mention his affinity for alcohol." 

"Everyone loves alcohol, Izzy. But let's get to the topic at hand. Are you available?" 

"Sorry. I'm heading to work. If you visit me, there will be a dairy-free smoothie with your name on it."

"I miss burgers, fries, and pizza. Izzy, this is torture."

"So, will I see you?"

Alec heard her pout through the phone. He was never able to deny her anything. 

"I need to shower first, but yes. I'll see you soon." 

"I love you, big brother. I just arrived at work."

"I know. Love you too." 

He put down his phone. Scott clearly wasn't going to come back tonight. He'd most likely stay at his own apartment. They had yet to move in together, but if their argument was anything to go by, he highly doubted it would happen anytime soon. All he could do was visit his sister. He told Scott it was his decision, but deep down he wished he'd stay. A year-long relationship meant something, right? He didn't want to deal with the doctor's appointments and hospital visits alone.  

____________________________________________________________

Alec didn't live far from Izzy's work, just a two block walk. Ernie's Juice Bar was the perfect place for her to work. When Alec came out to his parents, they kicked him out. Well, his father kicked him out. His father was never the paternal type. Alec received weekly calls from his mother. The minute he turned eighteen, Robert showed him the door. He doesn't miss him. That forced Alec to get a job. His father cut him off completely. Things have changed since then, but he still wishes he'd have worked here instead of working at the movie theater. People were always unnecessarily rude and messy. 

When he saw the neon sign ahead, he got excited. Ever since his health declined, his diet was forced to change. Alec had a hard time eating foods high in fiber or fat. He mostly stayed with carbs and lean white meat, if his body allowed it. Recently, he'd only been able to stomach smoothies or soups. The liquid diet didn't provide much extra energy. He had no choice but to take a sabbatical from his job as a middle school history teacher. Maryse helped pay for any rent and food he couldn't cover.  
Alec hated being so low on money, but it was necessary. 

Alec wasn't paying attention to where he walked. His brain was on overload. He used to classify himself as observant. The brain fog and the anxiety took over his thoughts. Alec walked into a man. He stuttered out his apology,

"Sir, I'm... I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where I was..." 

When the man looked at him, Alec's heart broke. There was Scott with his arm around another man. The shock on his face was proof Scott didn't expect to get caught. The other man smiled at him. 

"No problem, man. My name's Derek. You look distressed. My boyfriend and I could call you a cab." 

Alec's heart was beating fast. He didn't want to show weakness. 

"Thanks, but there's no need," Alec pointed to the neon sign behind them. "My sister works in there. I broke up with my boyfriend today. She thought I needed an evening out."

Scott didn't say a word while Derek added insult to injury. 

"That's a shame. Only a moron would break up with you. You're handsome. Isn't he, honey?"

"Uh, thanks. I'm going to go inside now. Sorry again." 

Why was he so awkward? Izzy would have torn him apart. He didn't want to stay and listen to his now ex-boyfriend lie to his face. The bell from opening the door brought his surroundings back. Alec was at Izzy's place of work. He couldn't make a scene and get upset. 

"Big brother, you're here. Take a seat, and I'll bring your smoothie out for you." 

Alec glanced around the room. The place was busier than he expected. There wasn't a single table free for him to sit. He walked around aimlessly until someone said, 

"Darling, this room is too small for you to be this lost."

Startled, Alec made eye contact with the voice. The man had the most beautiful caramel-colored skin. He was sure he'd never encountered someone as handsome as this man. The patterned dress shirt covered by a dark vest fit his body perfectly. Alec had to respond before the guy thought he was a creep.

"I was trying to find a place to sit. Unfortunately, there are no empty tables. Now I'll have to take my smoothie to-go."

"Nonsense. There is a spot here at my table for two. Please, join me. It'd be foolish of me to let someone so handsome get away." 

Alec looked unconvinced, "Are you sure? You don't even know me." 

"That is what I intend to do. My name is Magnus Bane. And you are?"

"Alexander. No, wait, I'm Alec. I never introduce myself as Alexander. Now I'm about to ramble. I'm sorry." 

Alec sat down as blush moved across his cheeks. Magnus chuckled softly, 

"You are endearing. Ramble away, sweetheart. Your voice is nearly as beautiful as your body." 

Before Alec could embarrass himself anymore, his sister saved the day by bringing him his order.

"Here you go, big brother. I call it the Alexander. I named it after you." 

Just kidding, his sister did the job for him. 

"Isabelle, you never mentioned you had such an attractive brother. I've been to this establishment for months, and not a single word." 

"That's because I would never set you up with someone who has a boyfriend." 

The words come out of his mouth easier than anticipated. 

"Had, I had a boyfriend."

Both Izzy and Magnus looked in his direction. Izzy spoke first, 

"I don't recall you mentioning he dumped you."

"He didn't. On my way here, I walked into a nice couple on my way here. When I looked at them, I realized one of them was Scott. He lied, he wasn't with his best friend all those nights I was in the hospital." 

"Alec,"

"I don't want to talk about it." 

"Well, if you ask me this Scott fellow is an absolute moron. You're beautiful, and such as sweetheart." 

Alec wouldn't admit how much that meant to him. He barely knew Magnus, but this handsome man made him smile. He wished he could get his cheeks to stop blushing.

"It was a pleasure catching up with you, Isabelle. And as for you, Alexander. Chin up. You never know when you'll find Mr. Right." 

Izzy nodded her goodbye before she went back to the register. Now they were alone again. Magnus stood up from his seat to put on his jacket. Alec didn't want him to leave before he got his number. The only problem, Alec had a talent for being awkward. He ran away from his cheating boyfriend without a confrontation. 

"Wait, Magnus?"

"Yes?" 

"I was wondering if you... Uh... Could I..." 

Magnus' smile lit up the entire room. He reached into his jacket pocket and removed a card. 

"Oh, Darling. Here's my number. Don't be shy. The attraction is mutual."

He tapped a finger on the bridge of Alec's nose. 

"Until next time, Alexander." 

Alec watched Magnus walk away. Not being subtle about checking his ass out in the tight pants he was wearing. As he brought the straw to his lips, he felt that maybe everything would be fine. Too bad Alec couldn't have the same optimism about his doctor's appointment tomorrow. He didn't know what was in store for him, but suddenly the prospects didn't seem as terrifying. 

_______________________________________________________________________________ 

In his apartment, Magnus sat on his couch with a cat on lap, soaking in his owner's attention.

"I met a handsome man, Chairman. He's adorable. And the way he blushes. I'm hooked. We'll see where it goes."


	2. Someone Believes Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec has a doctor's appointment and afterward feels that Scott got off easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, thanks to everyone who commented or left kudos. I truly appreciate it. 
> 
> The events at Alec's doctor's appointment are basically from mine 6 years ago. Alec's symptoms and feelings are what I experienced. There are a few differences due to gender and height. As well as I was in college when this happened. If I misrepresented something, please let me know and I'll fix it. 
> 
>  
> 
> Take care, everyone. Enjoy.

Here he was, in another waiting room. The frequency of the episodes, as Alec referred to them, had him in a gastroenterologist's office. His primary care doctor finally admitted his symptoms were not brought on by anxiety. After months of therapy, he relented to Alec's wishes. He finally got a referral to a specialist. 

Alec looked at the clipboard in his hands. He filled out a paper about medications, allergies, and symptoms. Checking the boxes next to gas, bloating, vomiting, nausea, fevers, fatigue, and so on reminded Alec of how undesirable he felt. Would anyone find him attractive? How could they? He thought of Magnus. Alec didn't even wait a day before texting him. He was charming, sweet, and funny. Someone Alec wished he could date. Was it wrong to think of dating someone a day after breaking a year-long relationship? He couldn't, not until got his health in check. 

"Alec Lightwood?" 

A nursing assistant in purple scrubs stood by the office door. He stood up, 

"That's me." 

"Follow me, Mr. Lightwood." 

"Please, just call me Alec." 

Alec followed her through the maze of hallways until he stopped in front of a scale. 

"Please, step on the scale. We need to see if your weight has changed since you last saw your doctor." 

"Can't you just check the report from my emergency room visit?"

"I'll compare this reading to the one from the other night." 

He sighed in defeat and stepped on the scale. Alec refused to look at the number. He used to weigh 195 pounds with lean muscle.The doctors weren't initially concerned when he complained of persistent nausea and stomach pain. Alec became sedentary. He used to go on morning runs with Jace, or kickboxing with Izzy. Nausea benched him, and he kept losing weight. 

When he lost more than 15 pounds in one month, his doctor showed concern. He spent three separate nights in the emergency room the month prior because Izzy found him passed out on his bathroom floor. The vomiting caused him to get dehydrated. Since then, his weight has declined at a steady rate. He switched to a mostly liquid diet. The vomiting increased significantly. Alec can't remember a day where he didn't spend time over the toilet. 

"You're 167 pounds. Let's get you to an exam room. Right, this way." 

How could Magnus think he was attractive? He must look incredibly unhealthy. Alec stopped paying attention to his reflection. He even removed the full-length mirror from his bedroom. The nurse ushered him into the room and pointed to the chair. 

"So, I see you filled out most of the questions. The only one left blank was about any previous surgeries." 

"Oh, I had my gallbladder removed six months ago. My symptoms didn't get much better." 

"I'll add that to your chart. You'll be seeing Dr. Quinn Harper. Do you have any questions for me before she arrives?"

"No, I think I'm good for now."

"Very well. Nice to meet you Mr. Lightwood." 

"With the way things have been going, I'm sure we'll see a lot of each other."

Now Alec was alone. He couldn't stop his mind from wondering. Would she be able to help him? Scott told him he was dramatic. He hated the insinuation it was all in his head. People thought he wanted attention. Who wants to be sick all day? The whole situation infuriated him.

"Hello, Alec. I'm Dr. Quinn Harper, but please, just call me Quinn. How are you doing today?"

"I've been better."

"I see, how about we get right into it?"

He nodded, "Sounds good to me."

"I've looked at your chart, and I have a few tests I want to have done. First, I see you haven't had a colonoscopy or endoscopy. I would like to get a view of what's going on in your gastrointestinal tract. Next, I'll schedule a stomach-emptying test. I highly doubt it will give us a diagnosis, but I like covering all my bases. Finally, I'm going to prescribe two anti-nausea medications. You are to take one three times a day as needed. The other is sublingual, which means it dissolves under your tongue. You should use it when you when you can't stomach anything. Do not take the two within four hours of each other."

Alec's face must have been priceless. Quinn reached forward to touch his arm. 

"Alec, we are on this journey together. Anything discussed today will be put in notes for you to take with you. Don't worry. We will get you your life back as soon as possible."

Someone was going to help him. He was at a loss for words. 

"Thank you." 

"Now that's out of the way, get up on the table. Lie down and lift up your shirt." 

When he got situated on the table, she began pressing in different spots around his abdomen. 

"I can tell you're a little bloated. What did you have for breakfast? Let me know where it hurts." 

"I had a strawberry-banana smoothie made with protein powder and almond milk. I also had a slice of toast."

"You're going to hate my suggestion." 

"Let me guess another dietary change, gluten-free diet?"

"Well, look at you being a preceptive patient. I noticed on your face when an area was tender to the touch. Once I get a look inside, I'll have a better idea. You can get up now." 

She walked over the sink to wash her hands. Alec felt hopeful for the first time at a doctor's appointment. He moved back to the chair as she printed off the notes from the visit. 

"Okay, Stephanie will schedule you a follow-up appointment in two months. I'd like to see you back after I have the results from your tests. Someone will be in touch with you about your colonoscopy/endoscopy and your stomach-emptying exam. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact me. When you are ready, follow the arrows back to the waiting room." 

"Of course, thank you so much, Dr. Harper." 

She smiled before she left the room, "It's Quinn. And don't thank me. You'll be doing all the hard work."

____________________________________________________________ 

It might sound ridiculous, but Alec was happy. Logically, he should be sad. He was still sick, and his boyfriend cheated on him. The fact his doctor's appointment was successful changed everything. There were moments he thought it was all in his head. For the first time in months, Alec felt like something was going his way. That is what caused him to pack all of Scott's things from his apartment. He threw it all in a box and now he was standing at his ex's door. Alec took a deep breath before he knocked,

"Hey, I thought you'd want your shit back. Open the door and face me." 

When no one answered the door, he let the box hit the floor. 

"Today, I saw the gastro-specialist. I just wanted to tell you that you were wrong. I wasn't dramatic. You were wrong about me, Scott. I'll get better, and all I'll remember you for is cheating on me. I sincerely hope it was worth it." 

The door opened showing Scott with his arms crossed against his chest. The expression on his face was unrecognizable. Did he feel guilt or shame? Alec wondered if he knew him at all. 

"Derek is too good for you. Does he know the nights you were with him, I was alone in a hospital bed? Is he aware you called him your Capstone project? Tell me, Scott. Is he the reason, six months ago when I had surgery you dropped me off in pre-op and didn't see me for three days?"

"Damn it, Alec. Yes. I didn't want to be with you anymore. If I dumped you while you were sick, it would make me look like a dick. So, I stayed waiting for you to get better. I met Derek on campus, and I didn't want to waste any time." 

Alec kicked the box through the doorway. 

"Well, tonight when he asks you to go down on him. I hope you choke." 

He spun on his heels. The triumph of the day was beginning to fade. How didn't he see through Scott's bullshit? He didn't want to go home to an empty apartment. Being this ill was isolating. 

"Excuse me, Alexander, is that you?" 

His head shot up. He recognized that voice. Magnus was holding bags of what looked like groceries while trying to unlock his door. 

"Magnus. Hello. I'm sorry if you overheard my argument with Scott. I don't usually make a scene. Let me be useful, and help you with your bags."

He reached his hands out to take them from Magnus. 

"Oh, thank you, my savior. I'm sure I would have gotten it. I've never turned handsome help. And don't worry, he deserved it. You weren't too loud. I just have exceptional hearing." 

Magnus opened the door and gestured to his apartment. 

"Please, do come in Alexander. I'll make you dinner. As a thank you for being such a gentleman." 

"I'd love to, but food and I don't get along right now." 

Magnus smiled at him and his heart started to melt within his chest. 

"I'm sure we could find something for you to eat. If not, we can go visit Isabelle. I want to spend time with you, Alexander. Plus, I'm friends with Derek. I messaged him the situation. I told him Scott was cheating on someone with him. You'll want to be around to see that hurricane blow through." 

Alec laughed, "Are you sure?"

"Darling, I'm positive that I want your company. Another bonus, I have dairy-free ice cream in the freezer."

"You don't fight fair, Magnus. It's low to bribe me with dairy-free ice cream. How'd you know it would work?"

"I asked your sister what to buy if I wanted to make you dinner. I planned to call you tomorrow. Fate had a different idea. So, will you join me?"

Even with all the nerves, Alec wanted to say yes. So, he did.

"Yes, I'll have dinner with you. Let's get out of the hallway before hurricane Derek takes us down." 

"After you, Alexander."


	3. Dinner for Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec decided to take Magnus up on his dinner offer. What happens between the two of them?

Alec walked through Magnus' open doorway. On first glance, he noticed how beautifully decorated it was. The place was spotless even though Magnus didn't expect company. Alec thought of his apartment, how it was consistently a mess. There were days he was too tired to clean.

The sound of the door closing reminded him why he was here: dinner with Magnus Bane. Groceries in his arms should have been enough, but he was still in disbelief. Why did Magnus want to spend time with him of all people? He didn't feel worthy of his attention.

"Alexander, are you feeling okay?" 

"I'm fine. I just don't go out often." 

"You are more of a homebody. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, just tell me. Let's put the groceries away before my perishables go bad." 

"Show me the way to the kitchen. We wouldn't want anything to happen to your perishables." 

Magnus smirked, "I mean, what else would we have to eat tonight?"

"If you couldn't decide, I'd volunteer." 

"Volunteer? To help with dinner or be dinner?"

Alec swallowed hard, "I'd volunteer to help... with dinner."

Magnus chuckled while taking a bag from Alec's arms.

"Don't worry, darling. I knew what you meant. I was teasing you."

He watched Magnus almost dance around his kitchen putting things away. He was nimble and full of grace doing even the most mundane of things. Alec pulled food from the remaining full bags. He didn't know where Magnus put bread or coffee, but he could still be helpful. It made him think back to when he'd assist his mother in the kitchen. 

He pulled out a box of gluten-free pasta. He couldn't get away from his new dietary restriction. Now he wanted a piece of pizza more than ever. The more he was told he couldn't have it, the more he wanted it. Was Magnus a person who ate gluten-free voluntarily? He picked up the box, 

"So, is this what you had planned for dinner?"

Magnus turned around to face him. 

"It was certainly an option. I know most people assume that a gluten-free diet is just full of bland and tasteless options, but they're wrong. My best friend Raphael has an allergy. I've learned over the years how to make flavorful gluten-free meals. Isabelle mentioned what you can eat lately is limited. I figured getting options would help. With your input, I'm sure we'll find something we'll both enjoy."

Was this man an actual angel? He learned how to cook meals for his best friend's restriction. Magnus was willing to work around his stupid digestive system. No one other than his sister made an effort to make him comfortable about what he couldn't control. His heart was pounding in his chest. 

He knew he should say something. He didn't know what to say to someone who treated him better in one evening than Scott ever did. 

"Thank you, Magnus. That's so thoughtful of you."

His voice betrayed him. It came off more vulnerable than he wanted. This man has known him for less than two days, yet Alec feels he could trust him with anything. Trust makes people do strange things, like reach out and pull someone you barely know into a hug. If Magnus was surprised, he didn't show it.

"Alexander, there is no need to thank me. It would be rude of me to invite you here and expect you to eat something that would make you ill. But if thanking me means I get to be in your arms then, by all means, thank me." 

Alec pulled back to admire the cheeky smile on the other mans' face. He was truly magnificent. When he felt Magnus pull away, all Alec wanted was to make him stay. The touch felt nice. He considered throwing out the rule he made earlier. Maybe Alec could date Magnus, regardless of his illness.

"Okay, Alexander. I'm going to start dinner. And you're going to sit on this stool while we get to know each other more. How does a game sound?"

Alec shrugged his shoulders, "Sounds like fun to me."

"I'm going to ask a question then you answer. Afterward, you ask me."

"I see the pattern. Ask away." 

"I know you have a sister, but do you have other siblings?"

Alec was happy that Magnus was starting him off with an easy question. He dreaded having to explain about his lack of a job.

"I do. I have two brothers, Jace and Max. I'm the oldest out of the four of us. What about you? Do you have siblings?"

"Unfortunately, I do not. My childhood was lonely at times, but I'm glad no one had to endure it with me."

The way Magnus quickly looked away made Alec curious to what caused such sadness.

"But let's move on, what is your favorite movie?"

"To be honest, I've always been into classic movies. If I had to pick a favorite, I'd say Casablanca. You can't go wrong with Humphrey Bogart."

Magnus smiled, "No, you really can't. Although, I hope Marlon Brando is a close second."

"Of course, how do you think I realized I was gay?"

"Let me guess when he walked in covered in grease in A Streetcar Named Desire? His character was a brute, but damn wasn't he sexy." 

Alec was surprised he was having this conversation. Whenever he tried to talk about classic movies with anyone, they'd tune him out. 

"Okay, my turn. When is your birthday?"

"Don't think I don't see what you're trying to do."

"You're avoiding my question."

"My birthday's December 13th. And if you must know, I'll be 28 this year. Your turn. When is your birthday?" 

"September 12th. I'll be twenty-four." 

"I'll put a reminder on my phone. I wouldn't want to forget such an important date."

Alec took a moment to soak in the feeling of contentment. He rarely felt at ease with anyone other than his family. Watching this man whiz around the kitchen making him dinner, it was almost too much. 

"Darling, what does your stomach think of tomato sauce?" 

"To be honest, I wouldn't know. I haven't eaten it in a while. I usually just put a little olive oil and garlic. I know, terribly bland. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. It was a simple question, and you gave me an honest answer. I would have been upset with you if you told me it was fine and I found out I made you sick."

"You're too good to me, and we've just met. If you continue to spoil me, I'll never want to leave."

Magnus took the olive oil and garlic from his cupboard, 

"Alec, you say that as if you think I want you to leave. I enjoy your company. You're handsome, and a better conversationalist than Chairman."

"And who would that be?"

"Chairman is my cat. He's around here somewhere. I promise, once we get food on the table, he'll make an appearance."

As he spoke of food, it looked like the pasta was almost finished. Magnus was removing bowls from the opposite side of the room. He still couldn't believe this was happening even as Magnus portioned out dinner for the both of them.

"Follow me, Alexander. Instead of eating at the table, let's have dinner in front of the television. I'm sure we can find something to watch." 

All Alec could do was smile, "Your house, your rules."

He got situated on the blue couch which was superior to the monstrosity he had at home. Magnus messed around with a stack of DVD's after he put the bowls on the coffee table. When he found what he was looking for, Alec could see it was Casablanca. 

"I thought it would be the perfect thing to watch. Since we both have a penchant for classic movies." 

"Yeah, perfect." 

What was Alec going to say? That Magnus was perfect himself? He considered the idea he died and was now in a marvelous afterlife. For the first half-hour of the movie, they ate in silence. It wasn't until they had both finished their food that Magnus said something. 

"What is your favorite line from the movie?"

"When Rick says: Don't you sometimes wonder if it's worth all this? I mean what you're fighting for."

"Why that line?"

"As you've probably gathered, my health isn't the best. It has been exhausting. I had to take time off from my job. The feeling of being useless kills me. There are nights where I'm alone in bed wondering if the possibility of health is worth the fight. No one can tell me what is going on. I know it sounds rash. I know the worst of it has been the past four months, but it feels like I've always been fighting. After a while, a person gets tired."

"Alexander, look at me." 

The only thing he could do was comply. Alec turned his face from the screen to look into the most beautiful brown eyes. 

"Did I hear correctly? Did Scott abandon you to be with Derek, when you spent nights in the hospital?"

"You do have exceptional hearing. It felt like he didn't care. I realize he had homework and projects. I used to be a teacher. He never asked for updates. A quick text would have sufficed, so I knew he cared." 

Alec watched as Magnus reached for his hand and scooted closer to him. 

"Darling, if you ever need someone to hold your hand, call me. I'll be there for procedures, surgeries, or nights in the emergency room. No one deserves to go through something like this alone."

"You don't know what you're proposing. It can get gross. There are bodily fluids and sleepless nights. Trust me, no one wants to be involved in this mess."

"Stop trying to scare me away. Life is messy. How about, for now, you let me hold you? Let someone else take the weight of your world for a while."

Alec didn't say anything. He just leaned into Magnus' open arms. Before he knew it, his eyelids felt heavy and he fell asleep to sound of Humphrey Bogart's voice.

_________________________________________________ 

Magnus glanced down at the young man in his arms. He was amazed at how much of a fighter Alec was. Alec began to slide down his chest until his head landed in Magnus' lap. The older man smiled and ran one of his hands through the boy's raven-colored hair.

"Alexander, I'll show you that you're not alone. I don't care how bad it gets. Or how gross you feel. You've unlocked something in me. I intend to stay." 

He knew Alec was afraid, and understandably so. Magnus had seen his fair share of terrible things that he'll share with Alec when the time is right. One day at a time was a mantra he lived by. He was brought from his train of thought by noise in the hallway. 

Magnus carefully slipped out from underneath Alec and made his way to see who was interrupting everyone's evening. As he opened the door he heard, 

"You lying asshole. I can't believe you had a boyfriend and thought it was okay to sleep with me" 

"Baby, I only wanted you. We weren't even sleeping together. He was too sick..."

"And that makes it worse. Are you going to leave me if heaven forbids, I get cancer? How long were you with him?"

Magnus paused leaving the door cracked enough to hear, but not make himself known. That was a question to which he also wanted an answer. 

"Alec and I were together for a year."

"We started dating seven months ago. You wasted seven months of that man's life because he got sick, and you lost interest. You're a coward, Scott Donovon."

"Every time I went to dump him, he'd give me these eyes. I'm only human. That man perfected the guilt-trip."

"Any decent human being would have cut him loose to find someone who could truly love him. I hope you enjoy sleeping alone. When I get back to campus, everyone will know the asshole you are. Here's your key back." 

Derek threw what must have been his key at Scott, and Magnus couldn't be happier. 

"Baby, please. Don't do this. I love you."

The coldness in the other man's voice even put a chill down Magnus' spine.

"It's too late for that now, isn't it? Do yourself a favor. Delete my number. Avoid me like the plague. If I see your face in the next few days, you'll regret it." 

Magnus heard feet shuffling, so he shut the door. When he got back to the couch, he covered Alec with a blanket. He looked so peaceful as he slept. Chairman had also found a new home next to Alec. When Magnus picked up the bowls from the coffee table, he heard Alec stir. 

"What was that noise?"

"It was just Hurricane Derek. Darling, go back to sleep."

Alec just hummed in agreement as he drifted back to sleep. As Magnus walked to the kitchen to clean up from dinner, he smiled. It had been three years since he even considered dating again. He would take his time with Alec. This man was special. He had a feeling that the younger man would help him as much as Magnus intended to help him.

Trust makes a person do crazy things. Crazy things like crawling into the space behind the man he liked on the couch and falling asleep.


	4. I Think I'm Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec learns more about Magnus and spends the evening with his siblings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank anyone who has taken the time to read this story. I was nervous because what Alec is going through medically is what I went through. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has left kudos and comments. I truly appreciate it. 
> 
> Now, let's get on with the story.

Alec opened his eyes. Slowly. The sun shining through the windows was harsh on the eyes. That was new, he never slept with the shades open. The scenery reminded him as his blurred vision became clear. Everything came back in flashes. Yelling at Scott, having dinner with Magnus, and being held in Magnus' arms. 

There was an arm draped around his waist, and stubble the grazed the back of his neck. He was overwhelmed. The smell was intoxicating. The simple touch of Magnus' fingers on the patch of exposed skin, made Alec feel on fire. Alec felt safe with Magnus' arms to protect him. Protect him from what? He didn't know, himself most likely. What would Magnus' lips feel like against his? He needed to get up before he didn't something he'd regret. 

"Darling, I can hear your thoughts. Relax, I'm sorry if I upset you."

Great, Magnus was awake. He felt Magnus retract his arm allowing both of them to move on the couch. 

"Oh, I'm not upset. Don't worry. I just didn't know how to get up without waking you. Since you're awake, I'm good." 

"Don't start lying to me now. You're not very good at it." 

Alec sighed, "I'm sorry this is all new. I was overwhelmed when I realized I woke up in your arms. That sense of security, I haven't felt that in a long time. I don't want to mess anything up." 

They had moved on the couch, so they were sitting as they had the previous night. Alec couldn't face Magnus. He kept his eyes fixated on the intricate pattern on the carpet under his feet.

"Alexander, you won't mess anything up. We don't have to put labels on this. All I know is I enjoy your company. You just ended a relationship. I understand if you don't want to jump right into another. Let me be there for you. As a very supportive friend." 

"And if I decide I want to be more than friends?"

He heard the older man chuckle. 

"We'll cross the bridge when we come to it. Does that sound good to you?"

Alec glanced over at Magnus. 

"Are you a real person?" 

"You'll learn, even I have flaws. Let me tell you a story. There once was a young boy who loved clothes, art, and music. The only thing he loved more was his mother. One day he was told his mother had terminal cancer. He was angry at the thought of losing her. It meant he'd be alone in this cruel world. The boy's step-father was an important businessman, so he was too busy for his dying wife. Over the course of five months, she became a shell of the vibrant woman people loved. When she thought her son was asleep, she cried alone in her room." 

Alec watched how the sadness from yesterday crept back into Magnus' eyes. 

"One morning, her son brought her breakfast, but she didn't greet him with a smile. She didn't greet him at all. The boy dropped the tray and ran to her side. She was still alive but fading quickly. There was blood pooling on her white sheets. She was tired of wasting away, so she took her own life. He stayed with her as she died. The boy held her hand, and brushed tears from her cheeks as she faded away."

Alec's heart broke for Magnus. He didn't need to be told this story was about his mother. The pain in his eyes at the recollection said it all. He didn't wait for the other's permission. Alec pulled Magnus into his arms. 

"Thank you, Alexander. It has been a long time since that day. I vowed to myself that if my significant other became ill, I'd be a better man than my step-father. That is why what Scott did to you bothers me so much. You put your trust in him to be there for you, to support you, to love you, and he didn't even try. I'm serious. I know how devastating illness can be. I was with my mother through most of it. There are things a mother doesn't want her child to see. I won't make promises I can't keep, but I intend to be there for you."

He kissed the top of Magnus' head. This beautiful, empathic person. The breakup with Scott didn't hurt as much as it should. Not just because of Magnus, but because he no longer had to fight a separate battle for Scott's affection.

"Magnus, you do not understand how much that means to me. You shared a piece of yourself with me. I know I haven't said it aloud, but I enjoy your company too."

Alec felt Magnus smile against this chest. In the short time that he knew him, Magnus had wormed his way into Alec's heart. He felt this was the start of something real, something meaningful. 

"Okay, Darling. No more sad stories. Time for breakfast." 

"In my life, meals are always complicated." 

"I have gluten-free bread, and the ingredients to make a killer smoothie. How does that sound?" 

"Add some source of caffeine, preferably black tea, and you have yourself a deal."

"I didn't peg you for a tea drinker." 

Alec nodded, "I wasn't until this mess started. I found that my stomach tolerated tea better than coffee. There are many things I consume now that I didn't before."

"Well, lucky for you, I go both ways. And I don't just mean sexually. I happen to enjoy both tea and coffee, so I have a wide selection of both."

Alec knew he'd have to leave and go home, eventually. There was a to-do list in his head. A prescription to pick up at the pharmacy. He needed to get groceries himself. Not to mention he had a movie night planned with his siblings. Even so, he would stay for breakfast because who could resist someone so handsome.

________________________________________________________ 

He got home hours later and started putting food away. It reminded him of his night at Magnus'. The thought made him smile, he couldn't wait to tell Izzy. Out of all his siblings, he was the closest to her. Alec looked at the clock, he was expected his siblings to arrive any minute. His place was still a mess from yesterday. He removed anything that belonged to or reminded him of Scott. That chapter of his life was over.

The time escaped him as he heard a knock at his door that could only be his sister. When he opened the door, he saw she was by herself. 

"Where's Max? I know Jace won't be here for another hour."

"Sorry, big brother. Max has the stomach flu. We all thought it was best to not expose you to him." 

Alec was disappointed but grateful. He loved his little brother, but the idea of catching something from him made him happy Max was at home.

"I understand. I don't think I could handle the stomach flu on top of everything else." 

She walked past him and put her coat on coatrack while he shut the door behind her.

"So, did you call Magnus yet? He seemed to be into you at Ernie's."

"Funny you should mention him. I found out he lives on the same floor of Scott's apartment building." 

Izzy's jaw dropped, "No way! How'd you find that out?"

"I may have paid Scott a visit last night to give him his stuff back, and a piece of my mind." 

"Go, Big brother. I've been waiting for that moment. Ugh, kills me that I wasn't there to see his face." 

"Whose face?" 

Alec and Izzy looked towards the door to see Jace had let himself in. He used to share the apartment with Alec before he moved in with his long-term girlfriend, Clary. Jace never gave his copy of the key back and it annoyed Alec to end that he used it like he still lived there. 

"You know, this is my place, right? Learn how to knock like any other civilized person." 

"I'll try and remember that. Answer my question. What have I missed?" 

"Alec caught Scott cheating on him and kicked his sorry ass to the curb," Izzy answered for him. 

Jace cursed, "That bastard!"

"I thought this was my story to tell, Izzy. That's not the whole story. Get your snacks ready. I had an eventful night." 

The excitement that radiated off Izzy was contagious. Alec remembered growing up and admiring her spirit. When his parents took Jace in, it felt like their family was nearly complete. As much as he wished Max was there, he was glad he could tell the unadulterated version of yesterday's events. When he saw Izzy and Jace in their usual spots in the living room he started, 

"I kicked his box of stuff into his apartment and told him the next time his new boyfriend asks him to go down him, I hope he chokes. And that won't be happening because of Derek, the other guy, found out about the situation and tore Scott apart. I was asleep when it happened, but Magnus filled me in over breakfast." 

Izzy tilted her head, "Wait, Magnus told you? Over breakfast?" 

"Yeah, after I walked away from Scott's door, I saw Magnus trying to open his door with arms full of groceries. And being the gentleman I am, I offered to take them so he could open the door. He graciously invited me over for dinner. I accidentally fell asleep watching a movie with him."

Izzy jumped out of her seat, "Oh my God, Alec that's wonderful. I'm so happy for you. I've known Magnus for months. He'll be so good for you." 

"I don't know if we need to set up our brother the day after he gets out of a shitty relationship."

"He can do what he wants, Jace." 

"Exactly, that means not pressuring him to see someone else so soon."

Alec rolled his eyes while he listened to them fight over his love life. 

"I'm sitting right here, you know. And just so you both know. Magnus and I decided we enjoy each other's company, so until I know how I feel whatever we have doesn't need a label. He cooked me dinner, Jace. I don't know if I'm ready to call him my new boyfriend, but I want to see where this goes."

Jace gave him an understanding look, "I just want you to do what's best for you. Things have been hard for you lately, and we only want you to be happy." 

"He's right. We love you, big brother. If you want to explore this thing with Magnus, do it."

"For the first time in seven months, I fell asleep last night with a smile on my face. Subconsciously, I think I knew Scott was being unfaithful, but with all the medical drama I overlooked it." 

"We are here for you. Always." 

Alec had the best siblings, even when they drove him insane. They always had his back, and he had theirs. Movie nights with them were the best ideas they ever had. 

"So, what movie are we watching tonight? I think it was Isabelle's choice." 

Much to both Jace and Alec's surprise, Izzy chose Blade Runner. She started dating a nerdy guy named Simon Lewis, and now her movie night choices were a thousand times better. Alec may have to get the guy a decent Christmas present. As they set into the couch and the movie started, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

_Magnus: Hello dear. I hope your evening with your siblings is going well. I enjoyed spending the evening, and morning with you. Let me know when we can do it again. Sleep well, Alexander._

Alec smiled. Magnus sent a message to show he cared. 

"You can text him back, you know. We won't be insulted." 

_Alec: Thank you, I hope you have a great evening too. I'll call you tomorrow. Is it strange to say I miss you?_

_Magnus: I miss you too. Remember, we are taking this at a pace we are both comfortable with. Does it feel strange to you that you miss me?_

_Alec: No, it doesn't feel strange at all._

_Magnus: Then it's settled. We miss each other, and it's totally normal. Goodnight, Darling. Tell Isabelle that I say hello._

_Alec: Goodnight, Magnus._

He looked over at his sister's smiling face and couldn't help but return it. She leaned her head against his shoulder while Jace shot Alec a goofy expression to make him laugh. 

"Alec, We missed your smile."

"We really did, man."

"Me too, guys. Me too."


	5. Bursting At The Seams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec awaits Magnus' return from a business trip, but their night doesn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's left a comment or kudos. I truly appreciate it.

Two weeks, it has been two weeks since Alec met Magnus and everything seemed to be going his way. The two spent time at Alec's apartment four days ago before Magnus left for a business trip. Turns out, while Magnus had a strained relationship with his step-father he still associated with him. Magnus ran a small company associated with his step-father's larger manufacturing company. Alec knew Magnus didn't like talking about his work or his affiliation with step-dad, so he didn't bother asking any questions. Alec let Magnus tell him what he felt comfortable telling him. As long as Magnus wanted to spend time with him and was reasonably happy with his job, everything was good in his book. 

He was excited because Magnus was due to arrive back in three hours, and they planned a night in at Magnus' loft. Magnus was sympathetic of Alec's fear of public outings. Alec didn't know when an episode would start and he hated the idea people other than his family would witness it. Additionally, he had no control on the cleanliness of a public restroom. Magnus reassured him that he was perfectly fine staying in eating home-cooked food, cuddling, and watching movies with him. 

Alec looked around his messy apartment and realized he needed to make it presentable. He was embarrassed how he let the place get in this condition in the first place. There were days where even the smallest task was difficult for him. He felt the fatigue and nausea were not an excuse. Alec knew he needed to do better. He wasn't working anymore, what else did he have to do?

The laundry was piling up in the corner of his bedroom. The dishes clean in the dishwasher, yet he hasn't put them away. He saw dust on his bookshelf and felt grime on the hardwood floor under his feet. There was no way he'd let Magnus in here to see this disaster. Alec swore his apartment had a stale smell to it. Did he shower yesterday? He couldn't remember. That was the effects of the brain fog. 

He started unloading the dishwasher. Alec was ignoring the feeling of intense nausea all morning. He needed to push through it. Magnus would be here to pick him up in under three hours. He could clean his apartment it shouldn't feel like such a daunting task. 

After dusting and sweeping the floor, he decided it was time to shower. The laundry could wait until another day. He was exhausted and going between feeling too hot to feeling cold. He stood under the showerhead and let the warm water drip down his body. Showers usually made Alec feel better, even just slightly, but it wasn't doing the trick today. The steam was only adding to his discomfort. He quickly washed up since he didn't know how much time was left before Magnus arrived. 

As Alec looked through his closet, he huffed in annoyance. He hated that he had to find what Izzy called a suitable outfit. He wanted to wear a pair of sweatpants and lounge around his place, but Magnus was worth the discomfort of jeans. He deserved many things in life that Alec wasn't sure he could offer him. Magnus worked so hard and asked for so little in return.

There was a knock at his door. Alec glanced at the clock on his bedside table, Magnus wasn't due for another hour. He decided to throw on a pair of sweatpants to see who dared disturb him. Izzy and Jace both knew not to bother him this evening. When he opened the door and came face to face with a smile Magnus, his annoyance turned to unease. Alec wasn't ready for their date. 

"Hello, Darling. I decided to catch an earlier flight. I know it was only an hour, but I was anxious to get back to you." 

Magnus must have been able to sense the tension in Alec because he walked inside the apartment, and put a hand on Alec's arm. He looked up at Alec with concern. Alec's heart burst when he was asked, 

"Hey, sweetheart, what's wrong?" 

"I'm not dressed yet. I haven't even put a shirt on."

Magnus' laugh caused him to relax a bit. 

"If it makes you feel better, I like what I'm seeing. You don't have to put a shirt on if you don't want to. In fact, let's stay here. Raphael is watching Chairman, and I happen to like your place. We could have a pajama party."

"Aren't those for teenage girls?"

"I think we've established we can do whatever we want, Alexander. We make the rules in this relationship. Sweatpants, movies, and ice cream sound like a fun evening to you?" 

Alec's tilted his head to the left. He was sure there was a lovesick smile on his face. 

"How do you do it? I've felt off all day. You're home for a whole three minutes, and everything falls into place. Magnus, you're never allowed to go on business trips again. Especially, ones where the time-zone is five hours ahead of mine."

"I'll see what I can do about that. I can't make any promises. Don't worry, the feeling's mutual. Now, are we going to move from your entryway to the couch, or is this our new spot?"

"Of course, I'm sorry." 

Alec walked towards the couch while Magnus wheeled his luggage into the apartment before shutting the door behind him. When Alec reached the couch he felt dizzy. He put his hand on the back with a harsh grip. His legs felt like gelatin, and the sound of Magnus' voice was only a buzz in his ears.

A hand appeared on his bicep, guiding him to the couch. The hand moved to cup his face, but he was struggling to breathe. There was a pain in his stomach he had never felt. This was new to him, what was going on inside his body? 

"Alexander, can you hear me?" 

The worry was evident in his voice, but Alec couldn't find the strength to speak. Instead, he nodded that he could. 

"That's a good start."

Alec felt nausea sweep over him, he didn't have the ability to make it to the bathroom. He was going to throw up on himself in front of Magnus. The only option he had was to push Magnus out of the way. 

"Sweetheart, do you feel like you're going to vomit?" 

He shook his head so Magnus understood the urgency. Alec barely noticed Magnus had run into the bathroom to grab the puke bucket from under the sink. When he felt the plastic in his lap, he dropped his restraint. The world around Alec disappeared, except for the feeling of Magnus' hand rubbing his lower back. The older man was there with a wet cloth to wipe anything from his chin after each heave. The back of Magnus' hand found its way to his forehead. 

"Alexander, you are burning up. Do you normally have a fever when these episodes occur?"

"No," Alec managed to say with his voice hoarse from stomach acid.

"Do you feel like you need to vomit again?"

"No, nausea has dialed back to what I normally feel, but the pain is still there."

Magnus took the bucket from Alec's hands, "Let me rinse it out, in case you need it again."

He watched Magnus walk towards the bathroom. Why did this have to happen today? The shame hit Alec like a ton of bricks. He didn't have much time to wallow in self-pity because the pain in his stomach got worse. Alec teared up, this was a new intense pain. He took a deep breath, but nothing helped. Alec brought his knees to his chest and fell into the fetal position on the couch. 

"Magnus! Help, it hurts. Make it stop."

"I'm coming, sweetheart." 

Magnus was coming to help him. The sound of his footsteps calmed Alec. When he sensed Magnus was in front of him he opened his teary eyes. There was no trace annoyance or anger on the older man's face. Alec only saw a worried expression.

"Baby, can you tell me where it hurts?" 

It took every bit of Alec's strength to bring Magnus' hand to the bottom right side of his stomach. He resisted when Magnus pulled him to the edge of the couch cushions. 

"Magnus, it hurts too much to move."

"Sweetheart, I know you're in pain, but if the pain is radiating from where you put my hand, it could mean you have appendicitis. We have to get you to the hospital. Do you trust me, Alexander?"

"More than you know," he answered with soft, child-like voice.

"Good, now trust me to take care of you. I will grab your keys, cellphone, and a shirt. After that, we'll be on our way." 

Everything happened so fast, and he wasn't aware of what was happening around him. All he felt was fear and intense pain. Alec leaned against the body that smelt of a mixture of sandalwood and vanilla, praying for the pain to go away.

________________________________________________________ 

The drive to the emergency room took longer than Magnus expected. His heart clenched every time Alec groaned in pain. Alec's face scrunched up, and his eyes remained closed with a lone tear track under his left eye.

If Magnus thought the drive was bad, he wasn't prepared for the chaos that was registration. When they were finally in the waiting room, Alec needed to use Magnus as support. The quiet cries of the man in his arms kept him from going off on anyone sneering their direction. When the triage nurse called Alec's name it was like music to his ears. 

Just as Magnus suspected, Alec had a mild fever. His nerves were eased, a mild fever meant that if it was appendicitis, the appendix had yet to burst. The nerves were at ease for a moment. They spent an hour in the waiting room before a bed was open. Magnus was getting annoyed. He knew how the system worked, but when it's someone you care about in pain, the wait was torture. 

Everything reminded him of his mother: the noises, the smells, even the nurses rushing between patients. Magnus didn't want to lose Alec, not like he lost her. He sat quietly as the doctor explained the game plan. They were going to start with IV fluids, pain medication, and the doctor also wanted a CT scan. 

Magnus felt every minute of the next hour and a half. He helped Alec drink the liquid contrast for the CT by holding the bottle between sips. The exhaustion and pain mediation caused Alec had little strength. Magnus wanted to take the pain away from him. At least now he wasn't doubled over in pain, just a small grimace on his handsome face. After Alec had his CT scan and various bloodwork was done, Alec dozed off. They were just playing the waiting game for the results. Magnus didn't notice he was humming a lullaby his mother sang to him.

"Mag...nus, that's beautiful, thank you." 

Magnus brushed some of the hair out of Alec's eyes. 

"Darling, you don't need to thank me. I told you I'd be here for you." 

A few tears escaped Alec's eyes and Magnus brushed them away with his thumb. 

"I'm... I'm so happy you're here." 

"Me too, sweetheart. There's no place I'd rather be. Just relax for me."

"You're beautiful like my own guardian angel. Please don't leave me."

Magnus took one of Alec's hands in his own and kissed the soft skin of Alec's palm. 

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm quite fond of you, Alexander."

"Can you call my siblings if I have to have surgery? I don't want to worry them unless it's absolutely necessary." 

"Whatever you want, Darling."

"Magnus, if my appendix burst..." 

"Hush you. that won't happen. Even if does we are in a hospital, they'll be able to save you. A ruptured appendix isn't automatic death, Darling."

"Oh, but still after this, I want us... I want us to be boyfriends."

"Okay, Alexander. If you ask me when you aren't drugged up then I'll definitely say yes. I'd be honored."

The moment was ruined by a nurse. She informed them they were taking Alec to pre-op so they could remove his inflamed appendix. Magnus smiled and blew a kiss towards his beautiful man. He watched as they took him to a place where Magnus couldn't follow. The emptiness of the room hit him hard. He remembered he needed to let Alec's siblings know. Magnus found Isabelle's name in his contacts when she answered he hated he had to tell her. 

"Isabelle, it's about Alec. He's going into surgery right now. He wanted me to let you and Jace know." 

Once he gave her the all the important details, he went the hospital cafeteria. He missed lunch to make it home early and this moment called for chocolate cake. Deep down Magnus knew that Alec would be fine, but weirder things have happened in his life. The last thing he thought before he drowned his sorrows in chocolate was that he wished his mother was still alive. He missed her so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. The next one may be a day later than I want because I'm seeing my niece tomorrow, but I'll try. 
> 
> Much love, everyone <3


	6. Hold My Hand?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec's family wait for news about Alec's surgery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all. Also to the few who asked, what Alec is going through and feeling (medically) happened to me. It is happening to Alec a faster pace than for me. It took doctor's 3 years to diagnose me. I won't be that cruel to Alec.
> 
>  
> 
> I managed to get this chapter in. This chapter is in Magnus' POV the whole time. We will see life through Alec's eyes in the next chapter.

Magnus was tired of being in the surgical waiting room. He knew the surgery itself was short and relatively simple, but he wanted to see Alec for himself. He was prepared for the doctors to keep him overnight for observation, and that meant Magnus might have to go home without him. He checked the time, Isabelle said she'd arrive within the hour. 

The people around him were making too much noise or having ridiculous conversations. Magnus needed a distraction, or he'd lose his mind on the next person who tried to strike up a conversation. He needed to make arrangements for Chairman. Why not message Raphael?

_Magnus: Raphael, can you watch Chairman for a few more days?_

_Raphael: Dios mío, I said I'd watch your hairball for your business trip, not so you could get busy with your new boy toy._

_Magnus: Raph, I had to bring Alec to the emergency room. He's in surgery now. Can you please not do this, right now? I'll make the pizza you like so much. My gluten-free pizza dough is superior to any restaurant in the area._

_Raphael: I'll watch Chairman for as long as you need. Are you okay? I know hospitals remind you of her._

_Magnus: I don't feel like talking about my mother, Raph. I'm fine._

_Raphael: You know I'm not talking about your mother. Don't play dumb with me._

_Magnus: Drop it. I have too much on my mind. I can't deal with that memory._

_Raphael: It's been four years, Magnus. You'll need to tell Alec about her, eventually._

_Magnus: A panic attack in his hospital room isn't exactly how I envisioned the conversation. Just look after my cat._

Magnus sighed as he dropped his phone into his lap. Today was not his day. The business trip had far more interactions with his step-father than he wanted. One conversation was too many if he had his way, he'd let their receptionists handle everything. 

"You look like you could use a hug." 

He looked up to see Isabelle standing there with a young boy a few inches behind her. 

"Oh, Isabelle. You have no idea how lovely that would be. And let me guess, the dashing young gentleman behind you is Max?"

The boy had been taking in the room when he heard his name he looked up at Magnus. 

"Yeah, how do you know who I am? I've never met you." 

"Well, your brother has told me a lot about you. He described you well. I knew who you were the moment I saw you." 

Magnus could tell the boy didn't know if he should smile, or not. Max quickly lost interest in him when he noticed a television playing superhero cartoons across the room. Izzy sat down in the chair next to him and grabbed his hand.

"We'll get through this together, Magnus." 

"You didn't see him. He was terrified and ashamed. I could see it in his eyes. I wanted to kiss the pain away. I wasn't sure it was appropriate. How does your over 6-foot tall brother turn me into such a sap?" 

"Alec has always been able to bring the best out of people around him. That is why he's great with children. It was such a hit to his already low self-esteem when he had to take a medical leave."

They sat in a comfortable silence, holding each other's hand until Izzy's phone made a noise. She looked down and groaned. Magnus didn't know if he wanted to know why her expression changed. Unlucky for him, he learned what the cause was when a middle-aged woman burst through the doors. 

"Isabelle Lightwood, you don't leave a note saying your brother's in the hospital and leave without contacting anyone." 

"Mother, there wasn't time for me to track you down at your office. When Magnus called, I had Max get dressed. We arrived maybe 20 minutes ago." 

She turned her attention to Magnus. He felt uncomfortable as she performed a visual inspection of him. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears. Magnus had heard from both Isabelle and Alec how detached their mother was, but this couldn't be the same woman.

"I thank you, Magnus, was it? You don't have to stay his family is here now. Alec is fortunate to have friends like you." 

Magnus cocked an eyebrow, "I think there's a misunderstanding. I'm not going anywhere. Alexander made me promise I'd be here when he woke up from surgery. I'm not starting a relationship with your son with a broken promise. Now, if you'll excuse me I need another cup of coffee."

Maryse stayed tight-lipped as she nodded in his direction. The nerve of that woman to try to send him away. She didn't even ask why her son was here in the first place. He had to laugh if the roles were reversed, his mom would be yelling at Alec in multiple languages for information.

As he poured a cup of stale waiting room coffee, he thought he should apologize to Alec's mom. How was she to know of their possible romantic involvement? He still thought the woman was a piece of work, but she was Alec's mother. The only way he could did this was with a peace offering. 

"Maryse?" 

The woman glanced over at him, "Yes?" 

"I'm sorry if I came on too strong a moment ago. Alec and I have been quiet about our involvement. You had no way of knowing who I was to him. Here's some coffee. It's extremely mediocre, but there's still caffeine." 

Much to his surprise, she laughed. 

"I remember how terrible that stuff was when Alec was a child. You'd think they'd improve over the years. I'm sorry, too. I learned when Alec was young to not express my fears. When a child sees the fear in their parent's face, they too get scared. I know my children think I don't care, but know that's not true. There are things they can't know yet. I won't burden you with them, just know it helps that you're looking after him."

Magnus smiled at her as she walked over to Max. They shared Alec as a common interest. He wasn't sure if it would go further than that, but he could hope for Alec's sake. Izzy took his hand in hers again. Her presence was grounding when he felt like falling apart.

"He's fine, you know."

He bit his lip to keep from crying. The exhaustion was getting to him. He knew she was right, Alec would fine. 

"Thank you so much, Izzy. How did you know my anxiety was getting the better of me?"

"Well, don't tell Alec I told you, but he told me you get an adorable crease between your eyebrows when you're nervous."

"He told you I'm adorable?" He asked in disbelief.

She laughed in response, "There is a long list of adjectives he has for you. Adorable is the only one that fit the circumstance. You make him happier than he's been in too many years."

"Is this where you give me the shovel talk, dear?" 

"No, I know you have good intentions. You're here, which is a huge step above his ex-boyfriend." 

"Where's Jace? I assumed he'd be here." 

"Jace and his girlfriend Clary went camping for the weekend. I left him a message. He'll be back as soon as he gets the message." 

Before he could respond they heard, 

"Family of Alexander Lightwood." 

The three adults said in unions, "Yes?" 

"We were able to remove his appendix laparoscopically like his gallbladder was months ago. The appendix appeared to be enlarged as well as inflamed. We sent a sample to get pathology, but for now, he's stable in recovery. The fact he came vomiting and severely dehydrated I would like to keep him overnight. Or until he can tolerate liquids." 

Izzy asked, "When can we see him?" 

"A nurse will come and get you soon. He was coming out of the anesthesia not too long before I came to inform you of his progress. He was mumbling the name, Magnus. He was disgruntled that we wouldn't let him see him. I need to go check on another patient, but don't hesitate to ask questions to his nurse."

That made Magnus' heart swell, even when he was completely out of it, Alec wanted to be near Magnus. He would be able to look into Alec's eyes soon. When the doctor left, Maryse went to check on Max again. The poor boy fell asleep watching Batman. 

Maryse sighed, "I think I should take Max home. Alec wouldn't be able to relax if he's worried about Max not getting enough sleep."

"Don't worry, Maryse. Isabelle and I will let Alec know you were here. And I think you're right. He worries about his siblings more than himself. Isabelle can forward you my number and I'll gladly give you updates."

Once again, Maryse surprise Magnus when she smiled then pulled him into a hug. He glanced over at a shocked Izzy. 

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure what came over me. I hope I didn't offend you. You both take care of yourself. Make sure to eat. I'll be in touch." 

As she walked to pick up Max to leave, Isabelle leaned in close to whisper, 

"Are you some sort of wizard? I have no idea who that person was, but my mom doesn't hug strangers." 

"I think she has been holding her feelings back for so long something cracked. She mentioned something was going on in her life that she didn't want to burden you guys with. A person can only be so strong, Isabelle." 

A nurse walked up to them, "I was informed you are the family of Alexander Lightwood. He has been impatiently waiting for you guys to come in. I'm afraid he'll try and leave his bed if he doesn't see you. Follow me. We moved him to the room where he'll spend the night. " 

The pair followed her to the elevator. The closer Magnus got to seeing Alec the more anxious he became. When the nurse opened the door, and he finally saw Alec the world shifted back into place. He saw drowsy eyes make contact with his and the handsome man smiled.

"Magnus, you're here." 

He slipped past the nurse to be at Alec's side. 

"Of course, Darling. You didn't think you'd get rid of me that easily, did you?"

"I was scared you left when I didn't see you." 

Magnus brushed Alec's hair back and kissed his forehead. 

"Sweetheart, I'm here now and I brought your sister."

Alec looked around Magnus to see his sister who took one of the seats next to the hospital bed. 

"Hey, look Magnus. It's my sister. Izzy, I love you." 

"I love you too, Big Brother."

"Magnus, she's a good sister. She told me to not be scared of liking you. I like you."

Magnus couldn't help but chuckle. Alec was precious, even when he wasn't heavily medicated. He was even more adorable now, but he knew Alec would deny everything later. 

"I know, I like you too, Darling. Your mother and Max were also here until he fell asleep.

Alec's face got serious momentarily, 

"Good. He needs his sleep. Hospitals are not a place for a child to sleep. Tell my mom, thank you. Do I get to go home now?"

"The doctors want to observe you overnight. If you can keep fluids down, they might let you go home tomorrow." 

"Can I go home with you? I don't want to go home alone. I'm tired. Why am I tired?"

"Don't worry, I wouldn't let you go home alone. Go to sleep, Alexander. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Will you hold my hand and hum that song you did earlier? It was nice." 

Magnus looked over at Isabelle, who had the same expression of awe on her face.

"Of course, Alexander. Sweet dreams."

"Wait, Magnus are we boyfriends now?"

Magnus nodded, "Yes, Alexander. We're boyfriends. You're stuck with me now."

"Good. I like you. Goodnight, boyfriend. Goodnight, Izzy."

"Goodnight, Big brother."  
"Goodnight, my Alexander."

Alec closed his eyes as Magnus hummed the lullaby. Magnus knew the next time Alec woke up he'd be in more pain. All he could do was pull up a chair and hold his hand.


	7. You're My Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec wakes up the day after his surgery. He has some visitors and learns more about Magnus' past relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> Thank you so much for your continued support. I'm sorry this chapter is later than I anticipated. I got a migraine Friday night that took a while to go away. 
> 
> WARNING: This chapter has some heavy topics. There are mentions of past non-con and drug use. Heed the warning. 
> 
> Enjoy <3

Alec heard the sounds of various machines combined with someone's soft snores. He took a deep breath as he slowly opened his eyes. His mind was clear for the first time since Magnus came home from his business trip. The new dose of pain medication was strong enough to take the edge off, but not enough to make him completely out of it. 

As he looked around the room, his eyes fell upon Magnus. He was sleeping in an old recliner that was pushed next to Alec's bed. His hand securely holding Alec's. There was a vague memory of what happened before he fell asleep. He asked this man to be his boyfriend and miraculously, he agreed. Alec couldn't believe Magnus stayed all night. 

"Hey...", Alec said trying to wake the older man. 

His voice sounded hoarse and dry. This was a familiar feeling from his previous surgery. The pain was just lower on his body.

"Magnus..." 

Alec knew his voice was too quiet, but he hoped to stir the man from his deep sleep. There was only one more way to wake him up without being able to leave the bed. He tugged slightly on Magnus' arm, this caused Magnus' head to drop forward only to stop when he started awake. If Alec had the energy to laugh, the sight would have made him chuckle.

"Good morning, Magnus."

He watched as Magnus' face distorted in what could only be confusion. Seconds passed as he became acquainted with the surroundings. Alec could tell the moment everything came back to him because Magnus jumped up from the chair. 

"Alexander, darling. How are you feeling?"

Alec tilted his head with a small smile, "I'm sore, but in less pain than yesterday. The meds help." 

"I'm so glad to hear it. I'll text your family. Your mother asked me to keep her informed." 

"You met my mother? Was she here? Please tell me she wasn't rude to you." 

Alec didn't understand why Magnus laughed at him. 

"We had a blunt start, but we found common ground. She does care about you, Alexander. I'll tell you what I told your sister. There's something going on in her life that's causing her tough exterior to crack." 

 "How are you real? How is it you were single when we met?"

Alec watched as Magnus shifted nervously on his feet before he recovered and smiled at him. 

"That is a story for another day, my darling. Your nurse should be in soon to check your vitals. If you can keep down fluids, you may be able to go home today." 

Alec wanted to go home and cuddle with Magnus. He didn't get to enjoy last night. All he remembered was that Magnus hummed him a lullaby, held his hand, and stayed with him through the night. 

"Wait, how did you manage to stay here? Scott always told me that people weren't allowed to stay overnight."

"Well, my dear Alexander, your ex-boyfriend wasn't completely wrong. I was asked to leave not too long after you fell asleep, but when I let go of your hand you panicked. You tried to take the IV out of your arm.  You relaxed the instant I kissed your forehead. The charge nurse came in saw how calm you were in my presence. Lucky for us, the charge nurse was my good friend Catarina Loss. She allowed me to stay as long as I didn't get in the way. I'm not sure if she was supposed to, but here I am."

Alec's head fell back into his pillow. He made a fool of himself in front of Magnus while on pain medication. At least his sister didn't witness it, she'd never let him forget it. He still couldn't believe Magnus stayed with him overnight. It meant more than he could express.  

"I'm sorry I was so needy. Thank you so much for being here for me, Magnus."  

Magnus moved closer to him and took Alec's hand back into his grasp, leaving small kisses on his fingers and palm.

"I'd never leave you alone and scared. Never be ashamed for needing help, especially mine. I'm here because I want to be not out of a sense of obligation. You're important to me, Alexander. Don't you dare forget it."

"Kiss me..."

"Excuse me?" 

"Magnus, kiss me. I had this plan that I'd ask you out over dinner and finally get to kiss you. You can't resist a pleading sick man, can you?"

He watched the smirk appear on Magnus' lips. 

"Now, Alexander. You aren't playing fair. I don't want to advantage of you in such a weak state." 

"Don't make me pull out my secret weapon. I have the best..."

He was silenced by Magnus' lips as they made contact. Alec's head was swimming, the moment he's been dreaming of finally happened. When Magnus pulled back, Alec chased his lips. He didn't want the kiss to end, but Magnus put a hand on his shoulder to keep him down. 

"I promise, when you're healed we will kiss all you want. You need to rest."

Alec pouted, hoping he'd convince Magnus to come back. 

"Don't pout, darling. You just had surgery. I know you are eager, but don't push yourself." 

"You should listen to your man."

Both of them looked back to see Jace standing in the doorway with Clary not far behind him.

"Jace, what are you doing here? I thought you went camping? You didn't have to come back for me." 

"Are you crazy? You had surgery. Of course, I needed to come back. You're my brother. I had to see for myself you were okay."

Alec knew how protective Jace was of him. Growing up, Alec was always there for Jace. He had a hard time adjusting when he came to live with the Lightwoods. Jace would have nightmares that he refused to talk about with anyone. One night there was a particularly bad one that left Jace completely shaken. Alec did what every big brother should, he brought Jace to the living room, and watched cartoons with him until he fell asleep. It became their ritual every time Jace had a nightmare, So, when Alec was kicked out for being gay, Jace got into a huge fight with their father. There were a few punches thrown, and it was decided that night Jace would get an apartment with Alec.

"I'm fine, Jace. My boyfriend has taken great care of me." 

Jace's right eyebrow raised, "Boyfriend? Finally decided to make a move after days of pining and constantly talking about how handsome he is?"

"You can leave now before you embarrass me, but Clary can stay."

Clary smiled at Alec before sticking her tongue out at her boyfriend. 

"I told you that your brother likes me more," she teased.

"Clarissa Fairchild?"

Magnus' voice indicated that he knew her and judging from her reaction, she knew him as well. Clary hit Jace on the shoulder which confused Alec. 

"Oh, my God. Magnus. Jace, why didn't you tell me that your brother was dating Magnus Bane?" 

"Uh, because they weren't dating yesterday." 

"Seriously, Jace. I've told you multiple stories about how I had a friend named Magnus who lived next door. He was six years older than me but he was so nice. Magnus also mowed our lawn once when Luke went to visit his sister." 

"Oh, right, that Magnus" 

Alec couldn't help but laugh at his brother. The laugh quickly turned into a groan when the motion moved the muscles near his incision. He was getting tired, and it seemed like Magnus could sense it. 

"It was lovely to see you again, Clarissa. And Jace, it's wonderful to see you in person, but I think we should let Alexander sleep." 

"Oh, yeah. Sleep bro. Message me when they release you."   
"Yeah. Feel better, Alec. I'm glad you are doing alright." 

Magnus walked them back towards the door and it looked as if he was going to leave too. 

"Wait, Magnus. Are you leaving?" 

"No, darling. I'm going to grab one of the nurses. We both know that you'll sleep better at home. You don't have to sleep, but at least close your eyes, sweetheart. I'll be right back." 

"You promise?"

"I promise, plus yesterday I got a glimpse of what's under that gown. Darling, I'm definitely coming back."

Alec's eyes bugged out of his head, "What?"

"I meant your chest. Don't worry, your package is still a mystery to me. Head out of the gutter, Alexander." 

Magnus winked at him before he left his room. Alec was sure his entire face was red, even the tips of his ears. He let Magnus' words sink in, he thought Alec was attractive. Magnus thought Alec was important. He was in a hospital gown with untamed hair and Magnus was flirting with him. Alec couldn't believe this was his life. Magnus made him almost forget about all the pain. 

"Miss me, love? I located your nurse, Alexander. And to my surprise, it's my friend Tessa Gray." 

"Hello, Alec. I'm going to check your vitals and take a look at the incisions. Is that okay?"

"Whatever you need to do." 

Alec watched as the brunette nurse checked the machines attached to him as she wrote down numbers. She then lifted the gown up enough to get access to incisions. He looked over at Magnus, to distract himself, who sat vigil in the old recliner. 

"So, Magnus, you seem to have many friends who are nurses."

Tessa stopped her hands on Alec' abdomen while Magnus stiffened. Alec noticed it immediately, the same expression on his face from when Alec asked why he was single. It was a joke at the time, but he was under the impression something hurt Magnus. He didn't like that something was upsetting his boyfriend this much. Tessa broke the awkward silence as she said, 

"Everything looks good. We will bring you some clear liquids to test how your stomach is feeling. After that, we'll start with some soft food. If you can tolerate it, then you'll be on your way out of here. Nice to meet you, Alec. Take care. You too, Magnus."

Once she left the room, Alec asked, 

"Are you going to tell me what that's about or is it something you aren't ready to talk about?"

Magnus sighed and refused to look up at Alec. 

"Magnus, all you have to say that you don't want to talk about it and I'll drop it. For now."

"Alexander..." 

The waver in Magnus's voice made Alec reach his hand towards him. 

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here, hold my hand." 

When Magnus took his hand, the grasp was firm. 

"Alexander, I'll tell you if you think you're up for it. I don't want you to exhaust yourself."

"I can't sleep. I promise when I get my next dose of pain meds, I'll sleep. Okay?" 

Magnus nodded, 

"Five years ago, I was in a relationship with this woman named Camille. Who she is, isn't important, but she was terrible to me. I was too smitten to see it, at first, it wasn't that bad. As time passed, around six months in, she flipped a switch. She'd guilt trip me into doing things I wasn't comfortable with or buy her things she didn't need. It wasn't until I stood up for myself that I saw the relationship improve. She started to make me these over the top dinners. I was over the moon, but Raphael noticed something was off with me. It took weeks for him to figure out she was drugging me. I was working long days, and I assumed it was exhaustion. That was until one morning I woke up seeing bruises on my hips, biceps, and wrists..." 

Alec squeezed the hand shifting nervously in his hold, "I'm right here, Magnus." 

"I had a full-length mirror in my bedroom. When I stood up and turned around, I saw what looked like the aftermath of rough anal sex, where I was on the receiving end. Turns out she had been selling my body to men and women, who got off on somnophilia. She told them to be discreet and told the men that I was never to bottom. One man decided the rules didn't apply to him. She would leave me alone with them while she did whatever she pleased in the apartment. He was alone with me for hours... Alec..." 

Alec was trying hard to not react negatively when the words died on Magnus' tongue. He wanted to find this woman and watch his kickboxing champion of a sister tear her to shreds. He'd never understand how people could be so cruel. When Magnus finally looked up, his face broke Alec's heart. The expression of fear and shame was too much for him to take in. Alec squeezed Magnus' hand reassuringly as he shifted on his hospital bed so there was space for him.

"That's enough for today, babe. Come, lay down next to me. I promise you won't hurt me."

Magnus eyed him suspiciously. 

"Please, Magnus. If I feel any pain at all, I'll tell you."

Magnus conceded and cautiously filled the space next to Alec. He didn't know how long they stayed there in silence before Magnus spoke again.

"You're the first person I've wanted to date since her. I was afraid of letting someone in, but then I met you. I knew you'd be good to me. You may have noticed my overly flirtatious personality. I've always had it and refused to let her ruin it for me. It took two years of therapy before I could think of having sex again. The few times I have, it was with women. I want to share all parts of myself with you. You have no idea how much that thrills and scares me."

Alec let his eyes meet Magnus', "You're my angel, Magnus. I will be good to you, just as you are to me. We are in this together now. Don't forget what you told me, we make the rules and we go at our own pace. You're allowed to slow us down too."

"You're amazing, Alexander. Now, will you please go to sleep? I know you're a tough guy, but I can sense you're tired and in pain. Let me help take care you."

"Fine. If you hum that song and play with my hair, you've got yourself a deal." 

"You drive a hard bargain, Alexander. Close those eyes, beautiful."

Hearing Magnus' laugh removed any of the remaining tension in the room. Alec couldn't believe how much trust this strong man had in him. He was going to take care of Magnus in all the ways he deserved. When he felt Magnus' hand glide through his hair, he finally closed his eyes. Magnus was right, he was tired. His mind was empty. He'd have to tell Magnus how wonderful he was when keeping his eyelids open wasn't so difficult.


	8. Home is Where You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is out of the hospital, but that doesn't mean he escapes drama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, thank you so much for all the kind words. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one.
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING: Discussion of past non-con and suicidal thoughts.

Alec ended up staying in the hospital until the following morning. He was in the car on his way to Magnus' loft. Alec loved how the place always smelled like vanilla and sandalwood. Magnus made him feel welcome and comfortable in his home. There was never a time in the time they knew each other where he treated Alec as a burden. 

When the car came to a full stop, he felt the nerves hit his stomach. Alec was going to stay with Magnus for the next week which was more for Magnus' benefit than his. Things were different, Magnus was his boyfriend. How would that change things? Would he share a bed with him? There was added pressure to the situation. All the possibilities ran through his mind.

"Darling, you've been quiet the whole way here. Are you having second thoughts about staying with me?" 

"No! Oh no, Magnus. I'm looking forward to being here. I'm just doing what Izzy says I do best and that's overthinking everything." 

"What were you thinking about?"

"The last time I was here we weren't boyfriends. How do I act now?"

Magnus laughed, 

"Alexander, you are precious. The only thing that's changed is we've put a label on us. I don't expect anything from that you're not comfortable doing. This week is for your recovery and for us to get to know each other better. Now, let's get you upstairs so you can relax."

"Sounds like a plan. Hopefully, we don't run into Scott like last time."

A week ago, Alec came over to pick Magnus up for coffee with Isabelle. He had a run in with Scott, who wasn't impressed that Alec was hanging out with someone new.  
Alec not so kindly reminded him that it wasn't him who cheated, so what he did now was no longer Scott's concern. 

"As hot as you were sticking it to him, I'd rather not see his obnoxious face today." 

Unfortunately, they weren't lucky. Magnus' apartment was across from the elevator and as they exited, Scott was waiting to take it down. 

"Oh, Alec. You don't look well. Let me guess, rough night in the hospital?"

The tone was laced with fake concern. Magnus was having none of it. 

"Scott, I wish I could say it was nice to see you, but I'm not a cheating liar." 

"Magnus? I didn't recognize you without your make-up on. Planning on introducing your new boyfriend to the other one?"

"What on Earth are you talking about?" Alec asked, clearly bored with the conversation. 

"Oh, the guy who's been here for the past few days. He visits Magnus frequently."

Magnus laughed while putting an arm around Alec's waist. Alec knew he was concerned that he'd been standing longer than he had the past few days. 

"You mean Raphael? Ha! That's hilarious."

As if he had been called, Raphael opened Magnus' door. He looked unimpressed with anything and everything.

"What is going on out here? You messaged 5 minutes ago. I thought you got stuck in the elevator." 

"I'm sorry, Raph. This asshole here thinks you and I are dating."

Raphael's face screwed up in disgust, "Yeah, no thanks. Magnus is my best friend. Alec can keep him."

"That's what they all say, but if you're available I can show you a good time." 

Scott was a dog with a bone. Alec didn't understand why he wouldn't drop it. He knew that Magnus and Raphael were like brothers, not much different than he and Jace. The Latino decided to put an end to Scott's mind games.

"I'm going to spell it out for you, I wouldn't touch you even if you weren't an attention-seeking asshole. And not that you deserve an explanation, but I feel the need to educate you. I'm asexual, do you know what that means? I have no desire for sexual activity. You aren't God's gift to men. Leave, before you make a bigger fool out of yourself."

Scott rolled his eyes as the elevator door opened, "Whatever, I have a Capstone project to finish."

Alec had never been so happy to see a door close in life. He had closed the chapter that included Scott, but he knew as long as he lived in the same building as Magnus, that he'd have to tolerate his presence. 

"Magnus, you might need to move. How attached are you to this apartment?" 

"Don't worry, I overheard from the woman across from him that he plans to move out when he graduates in a month. His time in our lives is numbered." 

"Are you guys planning to have a sleepover in the hallway or are you coming inside?" 

Raphael was more sarcastic than he expected. He knew a person had to have a quick-wit to keep up with Magnus, but he assumed they'd be similar. Alec was completely wrong. He was annoyed that Raphael's first impression of him would be based off a fight with his ex-boyfriend. 

"Raph, you're the most impatient man I know. Can you help Alec to the couch while I make the room ready?"

"I think I'm fine to walk on my own, Magnus."

Magnus sighed, "Humor me, please? I know in the grand scheme of surgeries that an appendectomy isn't that serious, but will you let my friend help you? For me?"

"You don't play fair, Magnus. You know I can't resist when you beg." 

"Noted, I'll have to test that out at later date."

Magnus' wink made Alec realize how sexual his comment sounded. He didn't even try to hide the blush. Alec didn't understand how his boyfriend brought this side out of him. He decided to let it go and reach towards Raphael for support inside the loft. Seeing him, reminded Alec of the story Magnus told him about Camille. When he was confident that Magnus was out of earshot, he asked,

"Can I ask you a question about Camille?"

Raphael stilled before he helped Alec down onto the couch. Alec sensed that he didn't want to betray his best friend's trust. 

"I won't tell you more than what he's told you about her." 

"He told me what she did. I had him stop because I could tell it was making him feel uncomfortable and exposed since we didn't have privacy. What I wanted to ask is what happened to Camille?"

Raphael relaxed a bit, the noticeable tension in his jaw eased. 

"What you want to know is if Camille was arrested?"

"Yes, what she did was despicable. I want to know if there is a chance she could show up in his life again. He's strong, but I want to protect him from any possible harm."

"Camille was never charged for what she did. There wasn't enough evidence to prove that he was drugged, and no one was going to admit to raping an unconscious man. When that fell through, Magnus took out a restraining order on her. You're the first person he's told about it that wasn't his friend when it happened or a medical professional. Tessa, Catarina, Ragnor, and I helped him through the aftermath."

"Does she still live in the city?" 

Raphael shook his head no, "Last I knew, she moved to the west coast. I wouldn't worry about her, just keep making him happy." 

From behind him, Alec heard Magnus making his way back to the living room. He immediately stopped the topic of Camille. Magnus would tell the rest himself when he was ready, Alec felt better knowing she was across the country. 

"Raphael, you are free to go. I'll be in touch about dinner. I believe I owe you pizza for watching Chairman for a few extra days." 

"I look forward to it. Hopefully, you won't need me to watch your furball anytime soon. My suits can't handle all the cat hair." 

"Well, you don't need to dress like you're late to meeting all the time. People must think you are in the mob or something." 

"Goodbye, Magnus. Nice to meet you, Alec." 

With Raphael gone, Magnus turned his full attention on Alec. 

"Do you want to go to the bed, or stay here on the couch?"

"I'd like to stay here, but I'd like for you to join me."

"Your wish is my command, my dear." 

Magnus moved behind Alec so he was situated between his legs. Alec let his back rest against Magnus' chest. He felt overwhelmed with happiness when Magnus' arms slowly wrapped around his waist. He was careful enough not to hit Alec's healing incision. Alec's head fell back onto Magnus' shoulder. This was Alec's favorite way to cuddle, but until Magnus, no one would without complaining. People would say he was too tall to be held. Magnus never complained.

"Magnus?"

"Yes, Alexander?"

"Thank you for everything."

"You don't have to thank me."

Alec moved his head so he could catch Magnus' eye. 

"I do. You opened yourself up to me and I don't want you to minimize how much that means. I had surgery, but I'm not the only one who has suffered. The strength in you inspires me to not give up until the doctor's figure it out. Thank you for giving me a reason to fight again."

Magnus kissed the back of Alec's head and nuzzled against his hair. 

"Can I tell you the rest of my story? I want it behind us and I think having you in my arms will keep me calm."

"Magnus, you can tell me anything you want." 

He felt Magnus take a deep calming breath. Alec knew what happened to Camille, but he didn't know from Magnus' point of view.

"After I figured out what she was doing to me, I broke it off immediately. Raphael let me move in with him and our friend Ragnor. The situation installed hypnophobia in me. I would stay up until my body refused to be awake. My friends tried convincing me to see a therapist, but I refused."

"I thought you mention that you were in therapy for years?"

"Yes, but it wasn't voluntary at first. One night, Raphael and Ragnor were both at work. They rarely left me home alone, but had no choice. I had the place to myself and the place never seemed so confining. There was too much pain for me to work through. The thoughts inside my head were destroying minute by minute. I wanted to forget. All I could think about was my mother, how she took her own life to end her suffering. I wanted it all to stop, Alexander." 

Alec knew what Magnus was implying. The more he heard the more he wanted to hurt Camille. He pulled Magnus' hands up to his lips and kissed his palms. Alec found it soothing when Magnus did this at the hospital. He wanted to make this compassionate man feel safe.

"Magnus, babe. If it's too much, we can put a movie on. I can't say that I won't fall asleep on you, but you claim to find it endearing." 

Magnus chuckled, 

"It is endearing. You even mumble in your sleep, it really is the cutest thing. I can finish this, darling. I must continue, but I'm sure you can guess what happened that night. Raphael found me and I was revived at the hospital. After multiple heated discussions with my friends, I agreed to be hospitalized. That is how I met Tessa and Catarina. They now work on different floors, but they helped save my life. Four years later, I'm the strongest I've ever been."

"Magnus, can you promise me that if it ever gets that bad that you'll talk to me?"

"Only if you do the same." 

"Deal." 

"Is the reason you were so antsy the past few days because it reminded you of being hospitalized? You know I wouldn't think less of you if had gone home." 

"At first, I was concerned for you. It wasn't until I was alone in the waiting room that I got anxious. Your sister did a wonderful job at making me feel calm. I was a little uncomfortable, but it was different. I'll always go with you. All you have to do is ask. The whole time, I reminded myself how when it was me in the hospital I had support. You deserved to have the same support. I know you have amazing siblings, but you don't like exposing them to your sickness. It's understandable." 

"You know me too well for only knowing me for three weeks."

"Darling, you'd be surprised what people learn about you if they'd only pay attention."

Magnus leaned forward to grab the remote. 

"I think I'll take that suggestion for a movie. Any request, Alexander?"

"Anything that makes you smile." 

Magnus squeezed Alec's hand as he used his other one to put on a movie. 

"Now that you're mine, I don't think I'll ever be able to let you go home, Darling." 

Alec snuggled into Magnus before he responded, 

"Home is wherever you are, Magnus."

He felt a kiss against the top of his head. Alec couldn't tell anyone when the idea of home became a person and not a place. All he knew was everything with Magnus felt right. Things didn't feel forced. Alec was sure he found the missing puzzle piece. He was falling in love quickly, but he sure Magnus would catch him. Alec glanced up at Magnus who smiled when their eyes connected. 

... No, change that. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that Magnus would catch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will push forward Alec's medical journey. 
> 
> Thanks for the support.
> 
> See you all at the next update.


	9. Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec has a medical exam. He and Magnus spend more time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. Thanks for continuing this journey with me. We are closer to figuring out what has Alec suffering. 
> 
> Just an FYI, I start a new job on Monday. So, updates will be less frequent. It may only be once a week while I get used to the job. The updates will either be on Saturday or Sunday. I hope you guys understand. I love this story and that people are reading it. You have no idea how long I've wanted to write this. 
> 
> Much love, everyone!

Alec was nervous. Today, he had his gastric-emptying test. A month and a half had passed since his appendectomy, and his doctor was confident that he healed enough to handle the test. The colonoscopy wasn't for another week, which he wasn't looking forward to experiencing. He was glad to be one step closer to discovering what could be wrong with him, even so, he wasn't thrilled with all the trips to the doctors. 

Magnus had been the biggest help through his recovery and the continuing struggle. Alec still didn't know what he did to deserve him in his life, but he wasn't complaining. The week he spent at Magnus' apartment was the best seven days he's had in his entire life. He was so helpful, and he wanted to be there for Alec every stop of the way. In fact, Magnus was devastated that he had an important meeting scheduled during the same time as his exam. Alec tried to convince him that he could handle it by himself, but that didn't stop Magnus from messaging him. 

_Magnus: Darling, have they started yet?_

_Alec: No, I'm still in the waiting room._

_Magnus: Are you sure you don't want some company? The scan takes four hours, and my meeting is only for thirty minutes._

_Alec: I'll be fine, but if you want to join me after your meeting. You know where I am._

_Magnus: You know that I'd never turn down spending time with my favorite person._

_Alec: Even if it's at the hospital?_

_Magnus: Yes, Alexander. Even if it's at the hospital._

_Alec: I know you have important things to do today. Don't worry about it, Magnus. Really, I'm fine._

_Magnus: Darling, you know I always worry._

"Alexander Lightwood?"

"Yeah, that's me."

Alec quickly messaged Magnus that the test was about to start with a string of heart emojis that Magnus loved to use. He never was one to use them, but Izzy casually mentioned how Magnus might appreciate the hearts in return. His sister wasn't wrong. He sent a heart emoji from across the room one night. The smile that appeared on Magnus' face blew him away. Whenever Alec sent a heart emoji to Magnus all he could think of was the smile that would be on his face. 

"So, Mr. Lightwood. Did you doctor inform you how this exam will go?" 

"She gave me a vague overview." 

The woman brought him into a room that had some medical equipment he hadn't been exposed to and was prompted to sit down. 

"This take will take four hours, we are going to feed you scrambled eggs that have radioactive material in it. This radioactive material will allow us to determine the rate at which you digest your food. The machine in the center of the room is the gamma camera. We will take a picture once you've consumed the meal and every hour after that. The doctor will be able to determine the rate of your digestion by the amount of radioactive material in each photo over the four hours. Do you have any questions before we start Mr. Lightwood?"

"When will I know the results?"

"Once a doctor in nuclear medicine reviews and sends the report to your gastroenterologist, she'll let you know the results." 

Alec nodded as he handed a plate of scrambled eggs and a glass of water. 

"Eat this as quickly as you can, we'll take the first picture." 

He stared at the eggs on the plate. As he began eating, he was reminded of how little solid food he actually ate. Magnus had been finding foods that Alec could tolerate that wasn't always a smoothie and slowly introducing them to his diet. Even if he was eating a little more now, he wasn't impressed with the idea of eating radioactive eggs. 

When finished, he got into the machine that would take the picture of the radioactive material. As he was told to sit still his mind wondered to Magnus and immediately relaxed. Before he knew it, he was in the waiting room waiting for another hour. Alec was now regretting not asking Magnus to join him. He was looking around the empty waiting room trying to occupy himself. There was no one to talk to and the television was playing an afternoon talk show he had zero interest in. His head hit the wall behind him as he sighed. 

"Why the long face, handsome?"

Alec's head shot up with a wide-eyed expression. 

"Magnus? What are you doing here? I thought you had the meeting?"

Magnus made his way over the chair next to Alec. 

"Well, you see, my insanely handsome boyfriend was having this medical exam, and it didn't feel right not being with him. So, I delegated my meeting to my second-in-command. He needs the experience anyway." 

Alec stood up and pulled Magnus into a big hug. He buried his face into the crock of Magnus' neck. 

"You have no idea how much you being here means to me."

He felt Magnus run a hand up and down his back. 

"I know you're nervous this test won't reveal anything and will have been for nothing." 

"Out of all the tests I've had, this one isn't too bad. The waiting was killing me."

Magnus smiled, "I'm here to entertain you."

"You are the most interesting man I've ever had the pleasure of knowing." 

"Good, anything you need, sweetheart?"

"Can I stay with you tonight? I'm not sure how the meal will settle and I don't want to be alone." 

"Alexander, you're always welcome at my place. We can stay at yours if you'd be more comfortable in your own bed."

"Chairman would never forgive me." 

Alec loved hearing Magnus chuckle, "You're right, he's grown attached to you. I think it's your warmth. There's no denying that I miss you on the nights you don't stay." 

"You're so cute. I want to kiss you so badly."

"Then why don't you, Alexander?"

"I'm sure my breath smells like eggs and that's not exactly appealing for anyone." 

"You owe me multiple kisses when we get home. Deal?"

It was Alec's turn to laugh. He had learned over the past two months that Magnus was very affectionate. Magnus liked to kiss him when given the opportunity. Alec didn't mind, he liked when Magnus kissed his forehead when he fell asleep. Or how Magnus kissed him on the cheek when they woke up in morning. Alec began to crave them, to the point, he was sad when he woke up at his place without him. 

"You know I can never resist your kisses."

"How much longer until the next scan?"

Alec glanced up at the clock, "20 minutes." 

"Come sit, I'll tell you about the hilarious thing my neighbor's daughter did this morning." 

"Mary or Samantha?"

"Mary, that girl is just so precious."

Alec leaned into Magnus as they sat next to each other on a couch in the waiting room. He let his head rest on Magnus' shoulder while he listened to how Mary overheard that Alec was sick. Alec smiled at her once on his way to see Magnus, now every time she saw him she'd get excited. Mary apparently left her teddy bear outside Magnus' door to help Alec feel better. The thought of how great of a father Magnus will be crossed his mind. He shook the thought away, it was too early to be thinking like this.... right?"

___________________________________________________ 

They walked in silence until they arrived Magnus' loft. The test was finally over and Magnus could focus on spending time with his boyfriend. The nights Alec stayed over were his favorite nights of the week. His loft never felt like a home until this six-foot-three man showed up in his life. Magnus loved the way Alec would reach for him in his sleep. The way Alec smile after each kiss, it took his breath away. He's never felt this way with anyone. Magnus never thought he'd be able to have a relationship like this after Camille almost destroyed him. One look at Alec and everything he went through was worth it because it led him to Alec. When the door closed behind them Alec asked,

"Hey, babe. What's on your mind? You were quiet, the whole way home."

Magnus smirked, "I was thinking of you, always you. How can I think of anything else when I'm holding hands with such a dashing gentleman."

"You have to stop saying stuff like that. I'm really not that attractive. Especially not right now."

Magnus stopped dead in his tracks, confused on how Alec could think so low of himself, "Darling, what do you mean by that? Come sit. I think we need to have a chat."

He heard Alec sigh, "We don't have to make a big deal out this. Everyone has insecurities."

"More the reason to talk about them with me, your boyfriend. A boyfriend who cares about you and hates seeing you get down on yourself."

Alec took a seat next to Magnus on the couch but refused to look him in the eye. 

"I wasn't fond of how I looked before whatever disorder took over my body. I mean, I worked out with Izzy and Jace, but it wasn't for vanity. Exercising was a way to work out my feelings when my father kicked me out, I was devastated. I don't care now, but at the time it hurt. Growing up, I idolized my father and when I needed him to be there for me, he threw me away like I never existed."

Magnus felt an angry fire build within his chest. He wanted nothing more than to let Robert Lightwood know exactly how he felt about what he did to Alec. His boyfriend deserved better from his father than being thrown out when all he wanted was love. Magnus never had a close relationship with his step-father, he expected to be disappointed by him. Alec, on the other hand, had a good relationship until something that shouldn't have been an issue became one.

"Darling, you know that it's okay if you still care about him. He's your father. Regardless of his actions, he will always be your dad." 

Alec turned his face towards him and it shattered Magnus' heart. There were tear tracks down his usually stoic face. 

"Why can't I stop caring about him, Magnus? He disowned me. He doesn't want me as a son. My father didn't want me, why should you?"

Magnus reached out to take Alec's face in his heads, "Hey, you better listen to me well, my dear. There are a million reasons for me to want you. You've stolen my heart, and I never want it back. That smile and your beautiful hazel eyes. You walked into my life, and I didn't stand a chance."

"You deserve more than what I can give you. I mean we spent the afternoon at the hospital. A man as amazing as you should be taken out on dates, not stuck home because his boyfriend is afraid to get sick. I can't even have sex with you. All I want to do is rip every piece of clothing off of you and worship your body, but I can't." 

Alec tried to look away from him, but Magnus' hands on his face kept him in place. He leaned forward to kiss Alec's cheek which was received with a small smile. Magnus brushed stray tears with his thumb.

"You know my past, and while I do look forward to sex with you, that's not why I'm with you. I fall in love with the soul before the sex. And I'm still falling, we have all the time in the world. You still haven't told me why you I can't call you handsome."

"I've lost so much weight, I'm too close to being considered underweight. Also, I vomit more than anyone should. The other GI symptoms are less than attractive. How can anyone find me desirable when all I see are disgusting things? There are symptoms that I've kept hidden from you because it's humiliating." 

Magnus pushed Alec back against the couch and straddled his lap. He sighed contently as he felt Alec's arms wrap around his waist. His hand found its way under Alec's to make sure that he was looking at him. 

"Darling, I know me telling you this won't change how you feel about yourself, but I think you're incredibly attractive. And I don't care about you GI symptoms. You forget that I was exposed to the less ideal side of life with my mother. I can handle the gross and messy parts. That is what you do for someone you care about. You are not your disorder. Besides, I was smitten with you the instant I saw your smile. Please, come to me when you're feeling insecure. And we may not be able to have sex, but we can kiss. And I do believe my boyfriend promised me multiple kisses. I think he should pay up. I've been paitent" 

Alec leaned forward, but stopped right before their lips touched, "Is that so? And if he doesn't?"

"I'll just pout until he has no choice but to kiss me." 

Alec smiled for the first time since they started talking, "You're something special, Magnus Bane. I think I'm falling in love with you." 

"As you should be. Shut up, and kiss me."

"As you wish."

The moment Alec's lips touched Magnus' all he could think about was how much he loved being with Alec. Visions of sharing an apartment, marriage, and wedding rings invaded his brain. As Alec deepened the kiss, Magnus let those thoughts disappear to the back of his mind. It was too early for him to have those thoughts... right?


	10. You'll Never Be Alone Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec has another procedure and Magnus has a chat with a good friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone!
> 
> I'm sorry this update is later than I wanted. My area had big storm and we lost power for a few days. 
> 
> Thanks for your continued support. 
> 
> Ash <3

Alec wasn't looking forward to his colonoscopy. The constant testing and procedures were tiring. He knew they were going to help him in the long run, but who wants to have a scope investigate their colon? 

This time, Magnus came with him to the hospital. He even helped Alec with the prep. Magnus never backed out of his promise that he'd be there regardless of how messy the process can be. The combination of a liquid diet and various laxatives to clean his system was almost too much for him. He was uncomfortable all night, but Magnus held him even though he felt disgusting. 

The worst part was that he was starving. He wasn't allowed to eat anything after a certain point last night. Alec wanted this to be over so he could go home with Magnus who graciously let him stay over again. Magnus was doing anything he possibly could to make Alec feel comfortable and he couldn't be any more grateful. 

"Hey, Darling. How are you doing?" 

He smiled at his boyfriend, "I'm nervous, but you being here with me is making me feel better." 

"I'm glad I can make you feel better. I care about your well-being. You know I'll be there every step of the way."

"What if it's something terminal?"

Alec let his eyes fall to his lap, now that he had a reason to fight he didn't want to lose the chance to have happiness. Magnus made him feel alive for the first time in a long time. 

"Alexander, let's not jump to conclusions." 

"We have to consider the worst-case scenario, Magnus." 

A finger hooked under his chin forcing him to look in Magnus' direction. The older man's eyes were serious, more serious than he'd ever seen them. 

"I will stay by your side until your last breath. We can watch all the classic movies we want. I'll read to you when you get too sick to hold a book. We will have hospice put a hospital bed in my loft and I'll hold you until I can't anymore. No matter the outcome, sweetheart, I'm here. We are a team. We are in this together. I'll make sure whatever time we get that you'll be happy and comfortable." 

Magnus used the trembling hand under Alec's chin to guide him towards him. The kiss they shared was probably inappropriate for a waiting room, but Alec couldn't care less. His fear of dying alone continued to flash in the back of his mind, but he knew that Magnus was telling the truth. His boyfriend on every occasion backed his words with countless actions. Alec was going to be fine no matter the results from all these medical procedures. 

"You're going to make me cry, Magnus. Distract me. What are we doing tonight?"

"Well, I thought we could watch a nice romantic comedy while we cuddle on the couch. You'll most likely experience some drowsiness from the medication. And what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't exploit that in the form of cuddles?"

"You trying to sneak in cuddles, never." Alec's feigned shocked expression earned him a playful slap. 

"Don't act like you don't enjoy it, love. You love my cuddles." 

Alec smiled, "Yeah, I do. I'm excited, but do we have to watch a romantic comedy?" 

"Before you pout, it isn't just any old romantic comedy. We will be watching It Happened One Night." 

"Oh, you can never go wrong with Clark Gable."

"And to think you doubted my abilities to pick a suitable movie for us." 

He pulled Magnus into him. Alec needed to touch Magnus while he could. He didn't know how things would turn out, so he needed to make the most of every single moment. With a kiss to Magnus' forehead, he felt grounded again. He wanted to take his boyfriend on dates and vacations. Alec wanted to give Magnus everything because no one has supported him in the way Magnus has been. Izzy and Jace did their best, but they had their own relationships and jobs to focus on. He just wanted the chance to give Magnus what he deserves. 

"Alexander, you are doing that thing where you stare off into space. What are you daydreaming about?" 

"I was thinking of all the things I want to do once I'm feeling better. Things I want to do with you, places I want to go with you. Basically, I'm thinking about you."

"You say the sweetest things. How did my ego survive without your constant praise and affection?"

Alec chuckled, "I see, you're keeping me around to feed your ego."

"Don't forget your beautiful face. I love having that face in my life."

Alec blushed every time Magnus complimented him. He was trying harder to accept the things he said because he knew Magnus meant it. There were years of self-doubt he was working through, and Magnus was always there for him. He had almost forgotten the reason they were at the hospital. 

"Alexander Lightwood."

He didn't want to let go of Magnus' hand. This procedure would be over before he knew it. Alec stood up and awkwardly waved at the nurse, 

"That would be me."

Alec glanced back at Magnus one more time before he disappeared through the door. He was guided to a room where he was asked to change into a gown. The closer he got the bed the more nervous he was for the procedure. 

"Now, I'll need to put the IV in so we can administer the medications then I'll have you roll on to your left side. The procedure can take anywhere from thirty to sixty minutes depending on if we need to take a biopsy. Any questions, Mr. Lightwood."

"Nope, seems self-explanatory. Let's get this over with." 

As the medication entered his veins, he started to feel drowsy. His mind went to Magnus and being in his arms. That is the last thing he remembered before he closed his eyes.

___________________________________________________ 

Magnus had been sitting in the waiting room for almost forty minutes after he watched Alec walk through the doors towards the procedure room. He thought back to what Alec said about the possibility his illness could be terminal. The thought terrified him more than he let on. He wanted to put on a brave face on for Alec. He was telling the truth when he said he'd be there for him. Magnus would never leave Alec the same way his step-father abandoned his mother. No matter what, he'd support Alec until the bitter end. Everyone deserved to have someone there for them in dark times. He had Raphael, Ragnor, Tessa, and Catarina while he recovered from the trauma Camille inflicted on him.

"What brings you to the hospital, Magnus?"

He glanced up to see Catarina leaning against the entryway of the waiting room. She looked tired but genuinely concerned for her friend. 

"Alec is having a colonoscopy. I'm here to take him home when they are done with him. He won't be able to drive himself back with all the drugs in his system."

He tried to make a joke of the situation, Magnus always deflected with humor. Catarina gave him a knowing look as she made her way over to the chair next to him. 

"Care to tell me, why do you look so sad?" 

Magnus knew the moment he saw her that she'd see right through him. Catarina was like the sister he never had. She was always there for him and without her, the recovery after Camille would have been ten times harder.

"Something Alec said reminded me how short life is and there's a chance he could die from the mystery illness he has. You don't understand, Cat. He's everything I wanted in a man and more. He cares for me in ways I didn't know I needed."

"I'm not going to suggest you leave Alec because I think he is good for you, but you need to make sure you take care of yourself too. You have such a big heart, Magnus, that you tend to give until you're hollow. I'm not saying that Alec would abuse that, but you need to make sure that if something happens to Alec, you can get back up." 

Magnus sighed, "You think I should start seeing my therapist again, don't you?" 

"I know you felt comfortable not seeing him anymore, but this situation is difficult. You know me, I believe anything worth having is worth fighting hard for. I just don't want to lose one of my best friends if things go south. Will you at least consider it?"

He heard the fear in her voice that he wouldn't be able to handle losing Alec. Magnus could understand where her fear was coming from. Catarina saw him through the worst of his recovery. She had to remind him constantly to take care of himself, and not to worry about how others felt about his recovery. While the thought of losing Alec was entirely heart-wrenching, he knew that he had support. 

"Of course, Cat. I think you're right. I can't be there for Alec if I don't take proper care of myself. I don't know where I'd be without you making me see reason." 

"Let's pray you never have to find out." 

Magnus couldn't help but laugh, "Thanks, Cat. Now I'm sure you have better things to do than staying at your place of work." 

"You're right. I'm going to sleep before I work a double shift this weekend. We need to have a lunch, all of us so that we can get to know Alec more. I think you're both in it for the long haul. Stand up and give me a hug. No more moping around. He'll be out soon."

Catarina was right, as soon as she left the waiting room a nurse called him into recovery. Alec was lying on a bed clearly still affected by the drugs given to him during the procedure. The nurse handed him a packet of information about what to expect after a colonoscopy. 

"Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?" 

Alec's face lit up at Magnus' voice. He was adorable when he was drugged up. Magnus wished there wasn't a need, but Alec was too precious in this state. 

"Babe. You're so pretty. Did you know that?"

Magnus laughed, "Thank you, Alexander. You are quite the looker yourself."

He helped Alec into the sweatpants and loose shirt he wore. Alec was less than impressed that he was required to be in a wheelchair in order to leave the building. When he pushed the wheelchair towards the door where the valet had the car waiting he heard Alec say,

"You're not just my boyfriend, you're my best friend."

"And you're mine, Alexander. Let's get you home."

"For cuddles and a movie marathon?"

He leaned forward to place a kiss on Alec's forehead, "Yes, darling, I can promise there will tons of cuddling." 

"Good, you make me feel safe. I've never felt so safe in my entire life. With you, I'm not scared of what will happen to me. Thank you. I thought I'd always have to do this alone." 

Magnus watched as Alec's eyes closed with a smile on his face when his head hit the headrest. The older man tried to not let the words affect him too much. His eyes betrayed him as Magnus felt tears attempting to breach through his eyelashes. Alec thought he'd be forced to suffer in silence his whole life. He thought that no one needed to hear about the pain he was experiencing. Magnus remembered how that felt. He closed the passenger side door. 

"Rest your eyes, angel. You'll never have to feel that way ever again."


	11. Good News. Bad News.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec gets a diagnosis and has lunch with Magnus that gets interrupted by a family emergency.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies, 
> 
> I'm so sorry it's taken so long for me to post a new chapter. My new job is amazing, but I'm exhausted at the end of the day. I'm hoping to post a chapter every weekend until the end of the story. I appreciate all the support and kind words. This story means so much to me because the medical journey is mine. The diagnosis in the chapter is mine (I have another disorder that Alec can't have being male) If you've stayed with me this long, you have no idea what it means to me. 
> 
> Enough with the rambling, here's the next chapter...

Alec was in another waiting room, this time he should walk out with some answers. His gastroenterologist had gone over the results from both his procedures. The past few days were the hardest waiting for the day of his appointment. He was on edge and unfortunately took it out on the people around him. The only plus side was Magnus had been busy with work, but his sister took the brunt of his bad mood. Alec was curt with her when she came over to help him and keep him company. Nothing like a slap in the face by his little sister to put his head back on right. He was finally here, only a door separated him from the diagnosis. 

"Alexander Lightwood."

This time there was no awkward wave just a nod towards the nurse. He was trying his best to keep the negative thoughts at bay. If he had cancer, they'd send him to another specialist. Could he handle more procedures and exams? Alec wanted answers. The interactions between the waiting room and the exam room blurred in his mind. He was on auto-pilot. When he heard a knock at the door indicating his doctor was on the other side, he felt his phone vibrate. 

_**Magnus:** Don't worry, Darling. No matter what the results say, you will always have me._

Alec smiled at how Magnus knew how to put him at ease without even being in the room. 

"Hello, Alec. Let's get right into it," Dr. Harper greet him as she sat down at the computer. 

"That's sound good to me." 

"Let's start off with the good news, your colonoscopy came back clean. You have a perfectly healthy colon."

"And the bad news?" Alec asked timidly.

"The results from your gastric-emptying exam show that your stomach digests at a very slow rate. Normally, the stomach muscles contract to break up the food in your stomach and yours move minimally. That means the food you eat sits in your stomach for long periods of time. After a while, your body will find a way to remove the food this is the cause of your nausea and vomiting. The point of the test was to determine if you have a disorder called Gastroparesis. I've also looked over some of the other tests you've had over the years and am certain you have this disorder. The good news is that with medications and dietary changes, most patients are able to get their symptoms under control. Before I continue, do you have any questions for me?" 

Alec was overwhelmed with all the information being thrown his way. There was a name for the beast that plagued him. Someone was finally able to determine what was wrong with him and proved it wasn't all in his head. 

"Yes, is this terminal? What happens if I'm one of the patients that their symptoms aren't controlled by the medication?" 

"I'm not going to lie to you and say that people haven't died from Gastroparesis complications. The disorder itself isn't considered terminal, just chronic. Alec, this isn't going away and you'll have to work hard on maintaining your diet to keep this at bay. If the medications don't work there are other options: a gastric pacemaker or a feeding tube that is placed through the abdominal wall directly into a part of the small intestine which bypasses the stomach altogether. Both of those options will be considered if needed, so don't get anxious about something that isn't happening. Now I'm going to write you a prescription for a medication that increases muscle contraction in the upper GI tract. Take this four times a day: with your main meals and when you go to sleep. Any other questions?"

"The only other question I can think of is what dietary restrictions are there for this disorder?"

"The typical diet is a low-fiber and low-fat diet. Fiber and fat slow down digestion in a normally functioning stomach, so it makes it worse for yours. You should try eating six small meals a day, larger portions risk having parts go undigested. The undigested parts can form a solid mass that can't pass through to the intestines known as a bezoar. I know this is a lot of information being thrown at you. Don't worry, I printed off handouts for you and your loved ones to get acquainted with the disorder. We are on this journey together. If something isn't working, let me know. This is our plan to help you feel better. Take care, Mr. Lightwood."

She handed him a stack of handouts and a prescription before leaving the exam room. Alec wasn't able to describe how he felt about the discovery. On one hand, he was happy to know how to help his symptoms at the same time he was afraid they wouldn't get better. He hadn't planned on seeing Magnus until dinner, but he needed a hug. Magnus' hugs always made him feel grounded. 

_**Alec:** Hey babe. Appointment's over. Think you can spare some time for lunch? _

_**Magnus:** Of course, darling! I've been too preoccupied waiting to hear from you that I'm not being productive. Lunch out with my handsome boyfriend should lift my spirits._

_**Alec:** I'm leaving the doctor's office now. How about I meet you at your office? _

_**Magnus:** Stay where you are. I'm already heading towards my car. I'll pick you up. I know exactly where I want to take you. _

Alec shook his head as he laughed. He was already feeling better about everything. He had a diagnosis, he was happy, and most importantly, he had Magnus.

______________________________________________________________ 

Magnus tightly gripped the steering wheel while he drove to pick Alec up. He couldn't stop thinking about how Alec's appointment went. Was Alec going to be fine? Did his doctor discover what was wrong? There were numerous unanswered questions. Magnus knew he'd have to be patient while he waited for Alec to come to terms with his disorder. He could have an eternity with Alec and it wouldn't be enough.

The doctor's office came into view and he saw his handsome boyfriend awkwardly standing outside the door. Magnus pulled the car up next to him with the passenger side window rolled down.

"Excuse me, sir. I'm looking for my boyfriend. He's so ridiculously attractive that he may actually be a Greek God among mere mortals. Have you seen him?" 

Magnus laughed as he saw Alec's cheeks flush at the compliment. Alec rolled his eyes fondly as he opened the car door. 

"You just say stuff like that to make me blush. It's a game to you, isn't it?" 

Magnus shrugged, "So what if it is? You're even more attractive with that blush across your cheeks. Don't even get me started on the broadening stance you had when your ex-boyfriend insulted me last week. The brooding expression on your face exerting your dominance over the situation. Gave me the chills, Alexander. You truly don't know how beautiful you are." 

"Get used to it. No one insults you while I'm around. He wouldn't know how to be a decent person even if there were a textbook on the subject. The audacity to insult you, but check you out when he thinks I can't see it. Scott never let me in, so it caught him off guard when I stood up for you. He didn't realize that side of me existed. The side that will protect the people I care about against anything."

"Oh, dominant and protective Alec with a week of each other. What you do to me, darling." Magnus replied as he fanned himself. 

It made him happy to hear Alec laugh so freely. There were times that he felt that Alec viewed himself as Atlas, doomed to carry the weight of everyone's troubles. No one would ever understand how just seeing Alec's smile could cure any bad mood. Magnus was falling for him so hard. 

"Alexander, you trust me, right?"

Alec gave him a curious look, "You know I do. Why do you ask?"

"I know you aren't always comfortable eating in public, but I ordered us sandwiches from my favorite place to go. I picked them up on the way to get you. How would you feel about eating somewhere special to me? Don't worry, there's a bathroom and it's relatively secluded which is why I love it."

The car was silent for only a minute, but it felt longer. Magnus didn't want to overstep and make Alec feel he had to do anything he was uncomfortable with. 

"You want to show me a place special to you?"

"If we take the next right, there's a small beach with a few picnic tables that my mom used to take me before she got sick."

"Take the right. You trust me enough to show me something personal. I trust you enough to take me somewhere I can be comfortable. You've never let me down." 

Magnus turned down a dirt road and it didn't take long before the beach came into view. When he reached a parking space, he let out a loud sigh. Alec looked over, 

"Are you alright, Magnus?"

"After she died, it was the only place I had left. My step-dad moved us to a smaller place and removed almost all memory of her. When I'm here, I'm reminded she is free now from the pain. She used to read a book while I ran around. I miss her every single day. It's almost like I'm introducing you to her by bringing you here. She would have loved you, Alexander. You're the first person other than Raphael that knows this about me. He followed me one day after I left the hospital. I can't fault him since I gave my friends quite a scare." 

Alec grabbed Magnus' hand, "I'm honored that you shared this with me, babe. Let's eat. I have updates to inform you about from the appointment."

Magnus reached for the bag with the food and lead Alec to the middle picnic table. Alec sat next to him, Magnus assumed he was still processing the information from the appointment. He quickly learned that Alec enjoyed being close to him when he was stressed out. Even if they didn't cuddle, just being next to Magnus seemed to put Alec at ease.

The area was empty as he expected it to be on a weekday. He passed Alec his food while he unwrapped his own. 

"Don't worry, I got you gluten-free bread. You handled chicken well a week ago, so I thought you'd be fine with chicken-salad." 

"Sounds wonderful, I do need to continue with the trial and error for us to know for sure what I can't tolerate. I'm not sure I can eat all of it." 

"Don't worry about that. You can save the rest of it for later." 

They ate in silence while watching the wind created waves on the beach. Magnus was pleasantly surprised how comfortable in the silence he was with Alec. He didn't feel obligated to push a conversation. They could just be together without an agenda. Alec was the one to break the silence, 

"Are you ready to hear about my appointment?"

"Alexander, I've been trying to be patient, but I need to know what's going on with my boyfriend." 

Alec wrapped the remaining half of his sandwich before he gave Magnus a brief summary of what Dr. Harper.

"She told me the problem is that my stomach isn't functioning properly. I didn't realize how much havoc that the stomach can cause on the body when it's not functioning. For some unknown reason, my stomach muscles don't stimulate digestion. The food I was eating was just stuck in my stomach until my body decided it had enough and caused me to vomit. She gave me tons of paperwork with more specifics and a prescription that helps stimulate upper GI muscle movement. And it's not terminal, just chronic. That doesn't mean that it will be easy. Dr. Harper told me it will be hard work, but there's a chance with the right combination of diet and medication I can go back to teaching history." 

Magnus scooted closer to Alec and wrapped his arms around his waist, "That's amazing news, darling. I know how much you miss working. And no matter how hard it gets, we're a team. As long as you want me around, I'll be there." 

"Oh, in that case, you're stuck with me and my defective stomach forever. How does that sound?" 

"Perfect, absolutely perfect, Alexander." 

He leaned over to leave a kiss on Alec's shoulder. He knew that chronic illnesses were exhausting to the person who had them, but it meant that for now, he didn't have to worry about Alec dying on him. Magnus was about to ask more clarifying questions when his phone rang. He was surprised to see the name of Alec's mother appear on his screen.

"Hello, Mrs. Lightwood. How can I help you?" 

"Magnus, please call me Maryse. You wouldn't happen to know where my son is? He isn't answering his phone." 

Magnus glanced over at a concerned Alec who mouthed, "Why is my mother calling you?" 

He gave a confused shrug in response. 

"Alexander is with me at the moment. His phone may be on silent from when he was at the doctor's office. How can we help you?"

"I need someone to watch Max. Normally, I'd ask Jace or Isabelle, but they're both working. Do you remember at the hospital I said that something was happening that I didn't want to burden them with? I now have no choice ."

"Of course, bring Max to Alec's apartment. We'll be there.." 

"No," Maryse cut him off, "Meet me at the hospital where Alec had his surgery." 

Magnus put the call on speaker, "Why do we need to meet you at the hospital? What happened?" 

Alec's eyes hardened when he heard, "Robert happened, and I need Max somewhere safe. He needs to be somewhere that your father doesn't know."

"Mom? What do you mean? What did Dad do?" 

"Please, Bear, come get your brother. I have to go." 

Alec got up from the picnic table when the call ended, "Magnus, we have to leave now. She called me 'Bear'. My mom hasn't called me that to my face since I was a teenager. She was never overly affectionate as I got older, but the nickname stayed. Even after my dad kicked me out, she'd come over to watch me when I was sick. When she thought I was asleep, she'd kiss my forehead and say, Bear, please get better. I can't lose you too. Something's wrong, Magnus. I can feel it." 

"My keys are out and ready. Let's get to your mom, sweetheart." 

As they ran towards Magnus' car, he prayed that nothing would happen to Maryse. Alec had too much on his plate as it was, but Magnus knew better than anyone that the universe didn't care what a person could handle. The cards are dealt and there's nothing to be done, but make the best of a shitty hand.


	12. Things That Haunt You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus visit Maryse at the hospital. A conversation between mother and son causes Alec to make some troubling connections.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies! 
> 
> I hope you all had a great week. This chapter touches on themes from a few chapters back that may have the potential to trigger someone. Please proceed with caution. If you made this far, you should be perfectly fine. I just wanted to make people aware.
> 
> I truly appreciate your support. Gastroparesis took over my life, but with medication and dietary changes I'm able to work a full time job. I finished my degree this past May. I tried to give enough information and still make the story interesting. Thank you so much for your comments and kudos. 
> 
> Take care, everyone. And enjoy.

Alec walked into the hospital almost too fast for Magnus to keep up. He did not understand why his mom insisted he come here, but he knew deep down that something terrible happened to his family. Maryse Lightwood was the strongest woman he knew and not because she was his mother. There was a time where he idolized her, but that was replaced with respect for her determination. He watched his mother raise four children while his father hid at the office. She wasn't the most affectionate, but she took her role as a mother seriously. They never went without food, water, or a roof over their head. She made sure they did their homework and excelled in every environment. The more he thought about her the faster he moved until Magnus caught his attention.

"Alexander, I know you're worried and reasonably so, but I'm having a hard time keeping pace with you. Can we stop for a second and take a deep breath? We don't want to overwhelm your mother."

Alec stopped to face him, "You're right. She's already overwhelmed. I need to be calm and collected for Max. He must be scared and confused. One thing after another. I can't seem to catch a break. Do you think..."

"Do I think what, Darling?" 

"Do you think you can give me a hug? Magnus, after the appointment, I hoped to have a relaxing evening where we cuddled with a movie. Lunch was amazing, but Dr. Harper threw a lot of information at me that it don't think it's hit me yet. I haven't come to terms with the fact I have a diagnosis, one I know little about. I'm waiting for the other show to drop. How can I take care of my family if I'm not equipped to take care of myself?"

Alec looked at Magnus with eyes that begged him to come closer. When he felt his boyfriend's arms squeeze him tightly, he relaxed. It surprised him that Magnus always knew what to say, "Alexander, you're not alone. I'm here and will take part in whatever comes next. We'll look up your disorder and come up with a game plan to get your life back. We are here to pick up Max together. I already told my assistant to have my second in command take the afternoon meetings. We've got this. And most importantly, I've got your back."

"Thank you so much. I think I can do this," Alec reassured himself. 

"Of course you can, Alexander. Let's go figure out the reason we are here." 

Alec reached for Magnus' hand who accepted it with a smile. The walk through the hospital was easier knowing he had a lifeline. He hoped he didn't have to see his father. The latent anger coursing through his veins would cause an unfortunate confrontation. Anger turned into pure rage when he saw his mother nursing what looked like an arm injury. She had bruises on her face and her bottom lip was split. Her eyes started to tear when they made contact with his. 

"Go, Alexander. Comfort your mother. I'll keep Max entertained." 

Magnus gave him a quick peck on the cheek before leaving the two alone. He watched Magnus make his way to the television in the waiting room. Max had grown close to Magnus over the past few months because underneath all the fancy clothes and makeup was the biggest geek. Alec laughed at the memory when his little brother and boyfriend argued over who was better: Iron Man or Batman.

He asked as he sat down, "Mom, what happened? Was there an accident?" 

Alec's anxiety was on high alert. Someone hurt his mother. She trembled as she answered. Maryse Lightwood never trembled.

"Your father and I got into a disagreement that turned physical. Things have been rough for the past few months when I discovered he's been having an affair for the past 5 years. We had a rough patch before Max was born, but I thought the situation had improved. You know that both your father and I work long hours. I never imagined he'd do this to our family. I... I... " She choked on her words, it broke Alec's heart to see the woman who raised him, break apart at the seams. He opened his arms to let her fall in while still being careful of her shoulder. Alec noticed the redness around her neck that looked like bruises about to form. They resembled hands, his father's hands. 

"Mom, where's Dad now?" 

"In surgery, Max came home from soccer practice early and saw your father holding me by my neck against the wall. He grabbed the nearest object, which was a butter knife, and stabbed him with it. It all happened so fast. One minute I'm against the wall the next your father is screaming out in pain. That's when I realized Max was in the room. I shoved your father over and he hit his head on the table. He was alive, but unconscious when the police arrived." 

Alec took a moment to glance over at his boyfriend and brother oblivious to the conversation. He'd have to talk to Max later and see how he was holding up. 

"What sparked the argument?" He felt her tense in his arms, "I'm not insinuating you caused it. I want to know all the reasons for why I'm going to put his head through the wall." 

She chuckled softly, "Always the protector, but please don't. I'm taking your father to court for all he's worth. Hurting him would only hurt my case. A case I was already working on. I planned to divorce him but needed proof he was being unfaithful. He wasn't home, so I snooped through his email and what I found was worse than cheating."

"What could be worse than cheating?" 

"Your father and his mistress owed a decent amount of money five years ago to some dangerous people. There were chats between the two of them theorizing how they'd come up with the money. Robert suggested prostitution, but his mistress refused to even consider the idea. It wasn't until he told her he knew high-profile people who would pay large sums of money for the chance to sleep with an unconscious individual that she agreed. Your father came up with a plan where the person didn't even have to know they were being used since it required them being unconscious. They talk about the drugs to use or the location where it'd take place. All of it was horrific to read, but what took me over the edge was that Robert volunteered Isabelle. He was going to let strangers have sex with our little girl without her consent." 

Alec couldn't breathe. He was so livid that he'd kill his father on sight. He needed to know if his sister was voilated, "Mom, did he follow through? Did he..." He couldn't even speak the words. 

"No, instead his mistress suggested they use her boyfriend instead. He was bisexual, attractive, and wealthy himself. She was convinced he'd attract a wider variety of clientele." 

That was when his heart stopped, those were traits others could use to describe Magnus. 

"Mom. What's her name? I need to know her name." 

"Bear, she's not important." 

Alec calmed himself before asking, "Is her name, Camille Belcourt?" 

The shocked expression on his mother's face answered his question. 

"How do you know of her?" 

"Magnus is bisexual, wealthy, and unfairly attractive." 

"Alec, please tell me.." Maryse said before Alec cut her off. "He barely survived what she did to him, Mom. How do I tell him that my father is the mastermind behind the misery she put him through?" 

"You have to be honest with him, Alec. I know I haven't been the most supportive mother, but I see the way he looks at you. He loves you in a way I've never been loved. When you have that type of relationship you have to fight for it. Be honest about the good things and the bad things. Communication is key to a successful relationship. Your father and I only married because our families insisted. I don't think your father ever cared for me the way I hope he did. Magnus has been your rock through your recent medical ups and downs, now you should return the favor. Talk to the people who helped him through it, and find the best way to bring it up." 

He kissed the top of her head, "Thanks, Mom. I missed this side of you. Somewhere I lost my mom. You gave us everything we needed monetarily, but I missed your advice and hugs."

Maryse leaned back to look up at him. Her eyes brimming with unshed tears, "I'm so sorry, Alec. I was so focused on being the perfect wife that I neglected the emotional needs of my children. That won't happen again. Things will be different for our family. I don't want to have the same relationship with you as I do my mother. She was closed off and resistant to anything out of the norm. You have no idea how much I love you all."

"I love you too. Tell me we have the proof to put them in jail. I won't let Robert walk free after the chaos he caused my boyfriend." 

She nodded, "The police have his laptop and access to his home office. I told them everything. There wasn't a name, but I couldn't let some poor man suffer in silence while his tormentors were free to hurt someone else." 

Out of all the news, Alec received that day, this was the best news he could hear. There would be justice for Magnus. He needed to call one of his friends. Regardless of the good that will come from putting them in jail, it was bound to trigger Magnus. 

"If you'll excuse me, I need to make a phone call. This needs to be handled delicately."

The only response she gave was a curt nod. He pulled out his phone and walked outside. The fresh air would help clear his mind, so would calling Raphael. They had been spending more time together for Magnus' sake. He wouldn't say they were best friends, but Alec could see why he and Magnus were close. Each ring of the dial tone made him more apprehensive. Would Raphael blame him for what happened? Alec's father hurt Magnus. His thoughts were halted by a confuse voice,

"Alec, what can I do for you? Normally, Magnus calls. Is there something wrong with him?" 

"Raphael, something big happened, it's a long story. I need you to meet me at Magnus' apartment in an hour." 

"What's going on? I need more to go on than that." 

"My father has been cheating on my mother with Camille. He was sleeping with her when she was with Magnus. My family is well off compared to most. I'm sure she used him for money as much as he used her for sex. Somehow they owed money to someone dangerous. I don't have the details."

Raphael all but growled, "Is she back in town?" 

"I don't think so, my father takes frequent trips to the west coast. When he's home, he plays the role of a good husband and father to his straight children. Raphael, he's the reason Camille did what she did to Magnus. He was the mastermind behind the idea, so they could pay back their debt." 

"Does Magnus know?" 

"I haven't told him yet. That's why I need you to meet me at his apartment. Could you bring Cat or Tessa? My father beat my mother because she threatened to expose him. She's at the hospital waiting to be seen. Once my sister gets out of work in twenty minutes, I'm going to have her stay with my mom while I take Magnus and my little brother home."

"I don't think it's wise to have your brother there when this all unfolds, Alec." 

"I don't have a choice. Max stabbed my father when he saw him hurt our mother. I need to hide him from my father. If he makes it through surgery, he's going to be furious. I know first hand what my father can do when he's angry. He already hurt Magnus and my mother, he's not touching my little brother." 

Alec heard a sigh, "Fine. I'll bring either Tessa or Cat, whoever is off today. Both if by some slim chance they're both not working. You didn't see him last time."

"He didn't have me by his side last time. No one hurts someone I love and gets away with it. He started seeing his therapist again a few weeks ago after Cat suggested it. He's supported me, it's my turn to have his back."

"Those are big promises for someone who didn't witness the torment he went through. He stopped sleeping, Alec. One time, Ragnor had to carry him to the shower because he hadn't washed in ten days. Magnus stopped going to...." 

Alec interrupted, "I'm going to stop you there. Magnus stood by me when I prepared for a colonoscopy. He witnessed a terrible episode first hand by holding a bucket as I vomited for thirty minutes. He doesn't comment when I know my breath smells like stomach acid. Magnus has supported me in ways I never thought a person would. The least I could do is reciprocate."

"You better follow through, Lightwood. I'll see you in an hour." 

Alec shoved his phone back into his pocket and sighed. He let his head softly hit the wall behind him. How was this going to play out? Magnus didn't deserve what happened to him. No one deserved it. He felt guilty because deep down he was happy it didn't happen to his sister. The only reason was because Magnus was forced to suffer instead. He would have to tell his baby sister that the man she trusted was willing to sell her body to pay back a debt. How would she reconcile that with the man who brought her home gifts from his business trips? Or the man who sang her lullabies when she had a nightmare. This situation was a mess and Alec was seconds from punching a hole through the wall.

"Hello, Darling. Are you okay?"

Alec's head snapped towards the sound of his boyfriend's voice. He couldn't help but smile. 

"The situation is rough, babe." 

"I know, Max told me what he saw when he got home. He doesn't understand why his father was hurting his mother." 

"And for his sake, I hope he can stay ignorant for a few more days." 

Magnus walked towards Alec and he couldn't take it anymore. Alec needed to hold him. If their surroundings were different the shocked expression on Magnus' face when he pulled him in for a hug would have made him laugh. 

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Magnus." 

"You'll never have to know, sweetheart." 

"You know I love you, right? I know it may be too early, but I can't keep it inside. I love you so much, Magnus Bane. The thought of someone hurting you makes me angrier than I ever thought I could feel." 

He felt hands cup his cheeks. Alec finally looked down into his boyfriend's eyes. 

"Alexander Lightwood, it's an honor to be loved by you. And I'll have you know that I'm deeply in love with you too."

Alec couldn't keep his emotions in check as tears started to fall from his eyes. Magnus pulled him tighter into their embrace while he was allowed to cry out his frustrations. He knew the next few hours were going to the toughest he'd ever experience. Alec would rather suffer a terrible episode than force Magnus to relive his trauma by explaining his father's role in his suffering. He knew he had to, Magnus deserved to know. For now, he was going to hold onto his boyfriend for dear life and hope someone out there heard his silent prayers that everything would eventually be okay again.


	13. Pieces Falling Into Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus learns about Robert's involvement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for the feedback. This chapter shouldn't be as much as an emotional roller coaster. 
> 
> Hope everyone had a great week and any American reader had a wonderful Thanksgiving. 
> 
> Take care <3

Magnus knew there was more to the story than what he was told. The entire way home Alec refused to meet his gaze. He tried not to fear the worst. Did Alec regret saying he loved him? He glanced at his boyfriend's younger brother who looked content passed out in his brother's arms. Max had witnessed something no child should have to see, this would change him forever. Magnus was thankful the pood kid fell asleep on the drive back to his apartment. 

As they approached his apartment door a pit formed in Magnus' stomach. Something was wrong, he could feel it. He paused before putting the key in the lock.

"Alexander, are you having second thoughts about loving me?" 

"Not even a little, the only thing I regret is I didn't meet you sooner." 

"If that's how you feel, why are being distant? Ever since we talked at the hospital, you've been more quiet than usual. I feel like there's something you're not telling me," he sighed looking down at the floor, "I'm sorry, I'm making a situation that has nothing to do with me get overshadowed by my insecurities." 

Magnus felt Alec grab his free hand.

"Magnus, no matter what's going on in my life, your feelings will always mean something to me. All I care about is how you feel."

Magnus turned the key in the lock. He smiled until he saw three familiar sets of shoes in the entryway. 

"Alexander, why are Raphael, Catarina, and Tessa here?"

"You weren't wrong. There's more to the story. I just need help explaining it and someone to look after Max." 

"You're worrying me, Alexander. Why do you need my friends here? The last time they were all in my living room was after Camille's trial." 

"Magnus, let me put my brother in your guest room and I'll explain. I promise I love you."

Magnus didn't like where this was going. He timidly entered his living room to see his friends talking to each other. He wasn't a timid person, but the memory of her always did something to him. Raphael was the first one to see him. 

"Magnus, take a seat. I'll get you a cup of tea." 

"Wow, I must be dying if you're offering to serve me."

"Dios, Magnus, don't be dramatic. I only offered you tea," Raphael groaned with a roll of his eyes. 

"What's going on here? Will someone tell me why you're in my living room like an intervention? I promise I haven't gone to work hungover since I met Alec." 

Magnus had two ways of dealing with his anxiety: either he shut down or he made inappropriate jokes. He was going down the humor route today. The sound of the guest bedroom as it closed brought his attention to Alec. 

"Alexander, now that Max is taken care of, will you please tell me what's going on? I hate being the only one out of the loop." 

"I'd like to know, too. Raphael called to have us meet here, but never told us why." Catarina chimed in. 

Alec wrung his hands together. A trait Magnus noticed he did when he was nervous. 

"Everyone, take a seat," Alec inhaled sharply as Magnus took the spot next to Tessa, "When I was speaking to my mother at the hospital she informed me that my father was having an affair. He had been cheating on her for years and she wanted proof on her side when she filed for divorce." 

"Not that I don't think your mother's situation isn't a terrible one, but I'm failing to see why you asked for us," Tessa questioned. 

Magnus was wondering the same thing. He didn't understand why Robert's infidelity required his friend's presence. 

"I'm getting there. My mother uncovered that my father and his mistress owed a decent amount of money to dangerous people. They brainstormed for months on how to pay back their debts. My father was the mastermind behind a horrific plan where they'd sell a person's body to clients without their knowledge. He told his mistress he knew a few wealthy people who would jump at the chance to have sex with an unconscious person. The minute my mother told me the plan, I knew it. Guys, my father's mistress is Camille." 

Magnus' brain shortcircuited. The missing pieces of the puzzle fell into place around him. His friends were animately asking questions, but he was lost in his memory. All the times Camille asked for money, he assumed it was spent on more purses or designer shoes. She never came home with shopping bags. How did he miss it back then? He never questioned any of it: the impromptu shopping trips, her desire for expensive gifts, or flat out need for money. She hurt him almost beyond repair because she owed someone money. He would have paid her debt at the time if she asked. A hand appeared on his shoulder causing him to flinch under its touch. 

"I'm sorry, babe." Alec's voice said through the deafening buzzing in his head. The fear in his boyfriend's voice brought him back to attention. 

Magnus calmed the instant he saw those beautiful hazel eyes, "Alexander, why are you sorry?" 

"My father's the reason Camille hurt you. He came up with the idea. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I should have asked before touching you. After the bomb I dropped on your life, it was inappropriate to assume I could."

Magnus took in everyone's expression. Catarina and Tessa were angry while Raphael looked concerned. He doesn't blame them for their reaction after his suicide attempt, but he was different now. He was stronger than he was when it happened. Then there was Alec, who knelt in front of him using all his self-control not to reach forward and touch him. 

"Alexander, if you don't hug me this instant I'm making you watch trashy reality shows for the next month. I refuse to be treated like a broken doll."

The atmosphere in the room changed as he was pulled into the biggest hug. Magnus' face went into the crock of Alec's neck. This was his life now, Alec was his boyfriend and he was happy. He wasn't going to let anyone destroy this for him, not even himself. Magnus pulled out of the hold to look at his friends. 

"I know you're all concerned about me. I understand why you are after what happened last time. She doesn't have a hold on me the way she once did. I promise I'll go to two therapy sessions a week. Alexander can stay with me every night until this is over to make sure I'm sleeping. I know you expected me to break down and there's a good chance I will later, but for now, I'd rather put this behind me. Can I ask a few clarifying questions?"

Alec nodded his head, "Of course, babe. I'll answer them to the best of my knowledge." 

"Why me?" 

"This is the difficult part. You weren't the initial victim, but Camille thought you'd bring in more clientele because you're an attractive bisexual." 

"Sexuality is irrelevant when the person is unconscious," Tessa interjected.

"If I wasn't the intended victim, who escaped their clutches?"

Magnus watched Alec's jaw clench with a renewed anger. He wasn't prepared for the answer when Alec said, "My sister. The man who called himself our father, volunteered his daughter's body to pay back a debt."

That revelation caused Magnus to seethe, "You're telling me that if it wasn't me, that sweet Isabelle would have been violated. That bastard! As painful as the experience still is, I'm thankful it happened to me and not her." 

Alec nodded, "The emails never explicitly said your name. My mother only knew that Camille's boyfriend was their target. This is where the details become fuzzy. When my father came home, my mother confronted him. He knew he'd been exposed, so he attacked her..." 

"I thought they were just fighting at first," Max interrupted, standing in the guest room door. 

All the adults looked in his direction, but Magnus spoke first, "Why don't you come sit next to me and your brother and tell us what you heard? Tessa can make you hot chocolate if you'd like." 

Max smile slightly, "In the Iron Man cup you got me?" 

"That can be arranged, little one. Come have a seat."

Magnus patted the empty cushion next to him for Max to join them. The young boy leaped onto the couch causing everyone to laugh at his antics. Magnus didn't only love Alec, he cared for his entire family. Ever since the day they met at the hospital, he had a soft spot for the youngest Lightwood. Max was a sweet ten-year-old boy, who was intelligent and curious. Curiosity was a trait all the Lightwood siblings had. Alec sat down on the other side of his brother, 

"Max, what did you hear when Mom and Dad were fighting?" 

"I walked inside after Sam's mom brought me home from practice and heard Dad screaming at Mom. She said something about Izzy, but I couldn't make it out through her crying. I knew it was bad because Mom never cries. That's when I heard a bang, so I ran towards the kitchen. Alec, Dad had her against the wall by her neck. She wasn't able to breathe. He said that if Mom told anyone what she found, he'd kill us all. Mom told me never to hurt a girl, Dad was hurting her, so I grabbed a butter knife from the counter. I don't remember much after that, but I know I stabbed him with it. He must be so mad at me. Alec, you won't let him get me, right?" 

"Never, Dad will never find you here. Magnus and I will protect you."

"Everyone in this room will protect you," Raphael added, "What you did Max was incredibly brave. You possess courage most adults don't have."

Max smiled, "Does that mean I get my hot chocolate now?" 

Everyone chuckled, Magnus knew having a child in the room put the group at ease, but they still had more to discuss. 

"Of course, Catarina will bring you to the kitchen where Tessa should have your Iron Man mug all ready." 

Magnus waited until Max disappeared before asking more questions. 

"Alexander, does your mother have enough proof to put them away? I don't want to start on this without knowing what I'm up against. She can't get away again." 

"According to my mother, there's years of emails from before it occurred up until now. They detail the plan from beginning to end. He wasn't the brightest planning criminal activity through email. Camille won't get away with it, the charges will be different. The police have the evidence from when they responded to the domestic assault on my mother. She informed them of the situation and how they violated Camille's boyfriend. My mom didn't know it was you until I made the connection at the hospital." 

They heard a knock at the door. Raphael stood up, "I'll take care of it. I'll let them know you aren't up for visitors." 

"If it's my sister or Jace, let them in," Alec shouted towards the disappearing figure. 

Magnus shifted closer to Alec, he wanted to be held. The afternoon catching up with him. Alec knew him well, so when he opened his arms, Magnus gladly accepted the invitation. He snuggled into his boyfriend's chest. From this moment on, things were going to be difficult. His nightmares were going to return. The only silver lining was that karma was about to hit Camille hard.

"I can't believe she's going to pay for what she did to me. The whole idea should make me terrified, but I've dreamt of confronting her for the assault."

Alec kissed the top of Magnus' head, "Babe, you know that I've got your back completely, right? You supported me through my medical journey, don't let my needs overshadow yours. I know you love to help me, but it goes both ways. Also, I'm going to be staying with you for the foreseeable future. I'm aware you were trying to placate Raphael by saying that, but it's happening."

"No complaints here, Darling. Although, you may end up spoiling me. I'll never let you go back home." 

"Who said anything about wanting to leave?" Alec teased. 

Magnus already felt better with Alec by his side. He glanced up at his boyfriend who's eyes begging for permission to kiss. He leaned in to place a chaste kiss on Alec's lips, "I know you're nervous, but I'm not going to break down if you touch me. I want all your affection, every single hug or kiss." 

"I'll remember that." 

Footsteps forced both of them to look over at the new presence in the room. Isabelle stood with her arms wrapped around her body as she trembled. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. She took a step forward, but her legs weren't steady. Raphael was not far behind her and caught her before she fell. He guided her to the spot on the other side of Alec. Magnus watched as the vibrant woman he's been friends with for over a year, crumbled into her brother's shoulder. 

"I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I'm sorry."

Magnus carefully reached over to take her hand, "Izzy, none of this is your fault. Why would you think that?" 

"I knew my father was having an affair. I overheard a conversation he had with her. They were planning times to meet, I didn't know what they were planning. I should have said something, but I didn't think it was my place to tell Mom. If I had, none of this would have happened..." 

Alec interrupted, "It's not your fault, Izzy. It's not Magnus' fault. The only people to blame are Robert and Camille. No more talk of blame."

Alec wrapped one arm around Izzy and the other stayed secure around Magnus. Magnus didn't know when things would start to feel normal again, but he had an amazing group of people around him. He was going to be okay. Everything was going to be just fine.


	14. Misfit Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec, Magnus, and Izzy talk about the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Everyone! 
> 
> I'm sorry it's taken so long to post this chapter. Things got super busy and nothing I wrote felt right. I'm finally happy with the chapter and hope you are as well. 
> 
> Take care and I'll post the next chapter as soon I can. 
> 
> Enjoy <3

Alec glanced down at his sister curled into his left side and his boyfriend dozing off on the right. Magnus reacted better than he expected while Izzy acted how he pictured she would. His father was responsible for hurting three important people in his life. Alec hated feeling so helpless. He noticed Raphael enter the room with a cup in hand.

"I thought you'd want something to drink. Magnus mentioned you drink tea." 

"Tea sounds great, thank you." Alec paused as he felt a wave of nausea wash over him, "Raphael, move them now." 

Raphael's brows knitted as a flash of concern crossed his stoic face. He reached to help Alec to his feet. Alec forgot to take his medication, he spent too much time focusing on everyone's well-being he forgot his own. He moved towards the bathroom to collapse in front of the toilet. The clench of his stomach as his lunch made its way up his throat, burning as it came out. He groaned through the pain. Alec knew he'd feel this later, his body flew forward with force. Tears formed in his eyes, it happened every time he vomits. Magnus needed him to be strong, he deserved more than a boyfriend stuck on the bathroom floor. 

"Alec, do you need me to wake up Magnus?"

"No, I'm fine," Alec answered as he coughed through the acid burning his throat. 

"Are you sure? I don't want Magnus to rip my head off. You've never encountered him when he's angry. If you thought he was a pain in the ass before, just wait until he gets wind you're masking your pain because of his." 

"Instead of lecturing me can you pass me my pill organizer? I think I've finished vomiting for now. I promise I'll take better care of myself. Please, don't tell Magnus." 

"What isn't Raphael supposed to tell me, darling?"

Alec's head snapped toward the door. Magnus was standing with his arms crossed his body and one eyebrow raised. 

"Seeing as you're on the bathroom floor I assume you had an episode," Magnus glanced towards Raphael, "I need a moment alone with my boyfriend. Catarina and Tessa could use help in the kitchen making dinner for us all." 

Magnus waited until Raphael stepped through the door before closing it behind him. He reached for Alec's medication on the counter. Magnus knew the one he needed and it touched Alec more than he thought it would that his boyfriend knew him so well. He heard Magnus sigh as he handed him the pill, 

"Alexander, I love you, but if you don't take care of yourself this whole situation will be ten times harder."

"I'm sorry, babe. It wasn't intentional, everything happened so fast. I didn't want you to worry because I was careless." 

Magnus chuckled as he dropped to his knees next to Alec, "I'm always going to worry about you, Alexander. I had a life before you, but it wasn't living. I closed myself off from real emotions. Each day was a game with no true chance of winning. Don't treat me like I'm fragile. Be honest with me. From here on out, you can't keep things from me. I know this was small, but it's hard for me to put my trust in people. It was easy with you from the start. You don't know how much that terrifies me." 

"You want brutal honesty?" Alec asked to which Magnus nodded, "It's taking all the energy I have to suppress my rage. Magnus, I'm angry about everything. It's sitting like a ball in my stomach, the more I think about it, the worse I feel. How could my father treat us as if we were disposable? I want to hurt him for hurting the people I love." 

"I don't need you to avenge me, Alexander. I need you to be at my side while I avenge myself. We are a team now, and if we are honest with each other, we will be unstoppable." 

Alec smiled, "You're right. I'm sorry I was going to hide this small episode from you. It's something I need to work on. My disorder had a name, but I still have no idea how to combat it. I hope you know that it had nothing to do with lack of trust. You're experiencing so much I didn't want to burden you."

"You could never be a burden to me, darling. You're forgiven, but there's something you can do to make it up to me."

"Anything."

"Anything? That's brave of you," Magnus teased

Alec shrugged, "I trust you, Magnus. You'd never ask me something of me that'd cause me pain." 

"How about you brush your teeth before we go eat dinner because I know how much you hate anyone being close after you have an episode. Don't worry, we'll discuss your repayment once we're alone." 

Alec's heartbeat quickened at Magnus' flirtatious tone of voice. What he loved the most about his boyfriend was how he could put him at ease, with one tap on the nose he had Alec laughing. The smile on Magnus' face was enough to erase all the tension in his body. He was impressed by how strong and wise his boyfriend was. If the tables were turned, he'd be in shambles. Mangus told him not to treat him like a broken doll, but how would he know if came close to crossing the line? 

"Magnus?"

"Yes, dear?"

"You promise that if you feel uncomfortable about anything I do, you'll tell me? I don't want to hurt you and mess this up. The relationships I've been in before being with you ended horrifically. I... I've never been as happy as I am being your boyfriend. I love you."

A tear trailed down Magnus' cheek, "Oh, Alexander, you know exactly how to pull at my heartstrings. Of course, we promised each other honesty. I have a feeling I'll never be able to stay upset with you. I love you too, you adorable giant."

The moment was disturbed by Raphael groaning in the doorway, "Seriously, you two are disgusting. Alec's sister woke up and I can't tell if she's fine or about to cry."

"Afraid of crying women, Santiago?" Magnus teased. 

"Shut up, Bane. I don't know her well enough to help her. The last person she needs telling her everything will be fine is a guy she barely knows. So, is one of you going to help me or what?" 

To Alec's surprise, Magnus volunteered, "I've got this, darling. Make yourself presentable for dinner and by the time you're ready there'll be a smile on your sister's face." 

"Thank you, babe. You're the best," Alec said as he stood up from his spot on the floor.

"And don't you forget it, handsome." 

When he was alone, Alec took a good look at his reflection in the brightly-lit mirror. For the first time in a long time, he was truly happy and it was evident from the expression on his face. He used to make fun of people who mooned over their significant others, but he understood now. Magnus was the best thing that's ever happened to him and he'll be damned if he didn't do everything to prove it.  
___________________________________________________________

Magnus made his way to the living room where Isabelle was sitting his couch, staring blankly out the window. He never had a close relationship with a father figure, so this was a type of pain he's never experienced. She was a remarkably beautiful woman whose flirtatious personality rivaled his own. 

"Isabelle, is it okay with you if I sit down?" He asked quietly. 

"Of course, Magnus. I'm sorry."

"What could you possibly be sorry for?" 

She took her eyes off the skyline outside to meet his gaze, "I came to your home and made a situation that was about you, all about me. My father never followed-through on his plan with me, because he had you. There's no reason for me to be this upset." 

"Honey, this situation is about all of us. You may not have been physically violated, but the man you looked up to was going to use you for his own gain. That type of betrayal cuts deep, Isabelle. Don't think your pain is less important than my pain. This will only make us stronger because we'll get through this together." 

Magnus held out his hand for her to take which she did without a second thought. 

"I'm incredibly thankful that you're in our lives. You've made Alec a happier person. I thought he was going to shrink away from us completely. There was always a fear in the back of my mind that he'd give up the fight. He's been there for me my entire life. While I admired my father as most young girls do, Alec was my protector. He read me stories when I couldn't sleep. I was afraid of thunderstorms as a kid and without even asking he'd carry me from my bed to couch to watch cartoons."

Magnus laughed, "That sounds exactly like the man I fell in love with. What is your favorite memory of Alec?"

"When I was fourteen, I had a crush on this kid named Jake. This boy was the only thing I talked about for weeks and Alec listened without complaint. Sure, he'd roll his eyes occasionally, but he never told me to be quiet. After weeks of talking about him, I decided to ask Jake on a date. He laughed at me and told me I wasn't pretty enough to be his girlfriend then proceeded to point out all my worst features."

"Oh, Izzy. You know the kid was an idiot, right?" 

She giggled, "Of course, Magnus. We both know I'm fabulous, but at the time I believed I wasn't good enough to be anyone's girlfriend. I stopped talking about him and completely stopped smiling. All I could see when I looked in the mirror were all my imperfections. Alec noticed the change in my behavior. Every time he asked if I was okay, I lied. You better learn now that it's impossible to lie to him. I never asked how he found out, but he did. One weekend, Alec stood outside my bedroom door until I opened it. He told me we were going to the mall because he was an adult and needed clothes other adults would take seriously."

"He let you dress him however you wanted?" Magnus was skeptical. 

"He did, we were at the mall for hours. I could tell when he wanted to protest but dialed it back for me. After dinner that night, I asked him why he really took me shopping. His response was simply that it made me smile and he felt happier when I smiled. That statement meant the world to me. We spent the rest of the evening watching movies while I taught him to braid my hair..."

Alec interrupted with a groan, "Why are you telling this story, Izzy? I thought you wouldn't embarrass me in front of my boyfriend." 

"I made no such promise, big brother. Now shut it, this is my favorite memory of us because it reminded me that even if some stupid boy didn't find the value in me that I always had my family. You would have my back forever." 

Magnus watched Alec wrap his sister in a big hug, "You've got that right, even if you insist on embarrassing me with stories of my teen years."

"Don't worry, Alexander. We all have memories we'd like to forget." 

"Yeah, like Magnus' bad dye job during his junior year of high school," Raphael teased from the corner of the room. 

"Raphael Santiago, how dare you out me like that!" 

Catarina called from the kitchen, "Boys, cut it out. Dinner is ready and the only good kid at the table is Max. He's washed up and ready to eat. Who's really the child in this house?." 

As everyone moved towards the table, Magnus smiled. There was a long road ahead of him, but with this misfit family, he created there was no doubt in his mind he'd get through this.


	15. He Wouldn't Call Himself Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec enjoy each others company. And the gang rallies to celebrate Alec, but for what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season. I want to let my readers know that even if it takes me longer to post a chapter, I always will until the story is complete. I've never abandoned a story, and I won't start now. The holidays have taken up much of my free time. 
> 
> I hope once the holiday season is over I'll be on a better schedule.
> 
> Take care, everyone. And happy holidays to you all. 
> 
> <3 Ashlee

Magnus sat up in bed breathing heavily. It had been a month since everything came out about Camille and Robert's involvement. Staying true to his word, Alec stayed with him every night. He looked around the dark room, his eyes darting to each corner and every slight movement of a shadow.   
Magnus knew his mind was playing tricks on him, but he couldn't stop the panic in his chest. All he had to do was reach over to Alec, and he'd relax. He knew this, and yet he couldn't bring himself to disturb his boyfriend's sleep. 

Magnus slipped out from under the covers towards the bathroom. If he stayed in bed as he was, he'd surely wake up Alec. Once the light illuminated his reflection in the mirror, he sighed in defeat, 

"I thought me going to therapy twice a week would be more helpful."

He remembered the reason he started from his sleep, he dreamt of Camille. In his dream, she told him not to be afraid of what was about to happen. Even after all these years, he was unable to figure out if his dreams were only dreams or memories of what transpired. Magnus lost in thought didn't notice the bathroom door open behind him. 

"Babe? Are you okay?"

Magnus twirled around, "Yes, I'm fine. Go back to sleep, darling." 

"If you think I believed that half-hearted response, you're mistaken. We promised to be honest with each other. Talk to me." 

"Alexander," Magnus paused. "I had another nightmare about Camille. You've been so good to me over the past few weeks that I didn't want to wake you." 

Alec wrapped an arm around him to pull him close, "Let's get back to bed, and you can tell me all about it." 

"I wouldn't call it a good bedtime story."

Magnus smiled as he felt Alec's lips touch his forehead. The subtle action sent a shiver through his entire body. He knew he should have woken Alec up when the nightmare first pulled him from sleep. All the dark thoughts would have been driven away in an instant. He felt his body lift off the floor. 

"Whoa! Alexander, what are you doing?"

"I want to cuddle, and you were taking too long," Alec answered matter-of-factly.

He settled into Alec's arms. For the first time since he woke up, Magnus felt safe and secure.

"Thank you, darling." 

Alec confused, "Why are you thanking me?" 

"You're always there for me, even when I'm too stubborn to admit I need you. How did I get so lucky?" 

"If I remember correctly, you let a lost man sit at your table and made him smile after his boyfriend cheated on him." 

"Tell me your first impression of me?" Magnus asked as Alec sat on the bed without letting go of him. 

Alec settled in the middle of the bed and let Magnus get comfortable between his legs. His head rested on Alec's chest as he listened to his boyfriend recall the day they met. His voice driving his fear away, aided by the strong embrace Alec had him in. 

"I was in a daze, and your words broke me out of it. The first thing I noticed about you was your eyes. I will never forget how good you made me feel. People in my life treated me like I was fragile or a nuisance. I was taken aback how someone as handsome as you, would want to share his table with me."

Magnus kissed Alec's sternum, "Oh, you underestimate how handsome you are, darling."

"Magnus, how often will we have this discussion?" 

"Until you believe that I find you attractive. I know, how your disorder makes you feel, and you have to know that I'd never lie about something that makes you feel insecure."

"Babe, just because I don't understand it, doesn't mean I don't believe you."

Magnus shifted, so he straddled Alec's hips while pushing his bottom lip out to slightly pout, "You know, my lips feel neglected." 

"Is that so? We wouldn't want any part of your body to feel neglected," Alec smirked as he pulled Magnus down for a kiss.

Over the course of his life, Magnus had kissed a variety of people. No one compared to the feeling of kissing Alec. The way Alec would occasionally nibble on his bottom lip drove him crazy. He let Alec set the pace and was never disappointed. Magnus ran his hands down his boyfriend's chest, finding a home on Alec's hips. 

"Magnus," Alec breathed into his lips.

Magnus traveled down Alec's jaw to his neck, grinning as he reached his favorite spot - where the shoulder and neck meet. Alec's hips pushed up against Magnus as he moaned from the new sensation. The moan turned into a whine when Magnus stilled his boyfriend's hips. 

"Alexander, the sounds you make are exquisite. I got a little carried away."

"Please, don't stop," Alec begged, running a hand over Magnus' covered length. 

"You're making it," Magnus' breath hitched, "difficult to be a gentleman."

"I don't want a gentleman, Magnus. I want you. Please."

"Do you truly want it, darling?”

"Please, Magnus. You told me you find me attractive. Prove it. Show me. Please, babe." Alec pleaded while Magnus continued to kiss down his chest. 

He wasn't sure how far they'd go tonight, but Magnus had never been more excited to share something intimate with another person. The panic and the fear that previously took over his mind disappeared with the sounds of Alec's pleasure.

___________________________________________________ 

Today was Alec's birthday, and instead of spending it in bed with Magnus, he was shopping with his sister.

"Don't pout, big brother. You'll see Magnus, tonight." 

"I'm not pouting," Alec mumbled. 

He wasn't paying attention, his thoughts consumed by Magnus, and the night they took another step in their relationship. They lazily made out on multiple occasions, but that was the first time they experienced a release together. As if Izzy could read his mind, 

"Just curious, have you and Magnus had sex yet?" 

Alec's cheeks flushed, "Izzy! I'm not having this discussion with you, especially in public. The mall doesn't need to hear about my sex life." 

"So, there is a sex life to discuss. Good to know." 

"Why do you even want to know?"

"Well, to embarrass you, but to also you're safe."

"We haven't had sex, but what we did... we were," he answered as his face turned a darker shade of red. 

She chuckled but focused on the phone in her hand. Alec assumed it was her boyfriend, Simon. He was an interesting person, one who never stopped talking. The guy treated his sister like a queen, so he shouldn't complain. She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door. 

"Time to leave, we're heading to Magnus' place. He sent a message letting us know he's home." 

Alec frowned, "Why didn't he message me?" 

"This is your phone. I'm disappointed, no scandalous pictures or text messages. Are you sure we're related?" Izzy teased. 

"Seriously, give it back. How did you get my phone in the first place?"

She shrugged, "I easily slipped it out of your jacket pocket when I made you try on the blue dress shirt. You have to pay more attention, big brother. No more questions. Your boyfriend is waiting." 

On the drive to Magnus' place, his sister was uncharacteristically quiet. He tried not to let it bother him. When they reached the door, it hit him, Izzy was keeping something from him. He didn't have time to confront her because the minute he entered the living room, he heard, 

"SURPRISE!" 

Alec blinked while he took in the room. There was a huge cake on the table surrounded by gifts, which he assumed were mostly from Magnus. His friends and family were smiling at him, but his focus went to his boyfriend standing in the middle of the group. 

"Babe, what's this?" 

Magnus chuckled, " You didn't think I'd let your birthday pass without a true celebration. Honestly, Alexander, do you know me at all?" He winked at him, so Alec knew he was teasing. "I wanted you to spend it with people who love you. I know there's a storm up ahead for us, and I wanted there to be a day all about you."

"You didn't need to do all this," Alec gestured to the pile of gifts on the table. 

"Of course, I did. You've changed my life, just by being in it. If I had the power, I'd show you memories of my life before I met you. You'd be surprised how much you've helped me heal. Alexander, you deserve this and more. Today is all about you, so be quiet and let your friends and family tell you how much they love you." 

“Yes, sir,” Alex responded, deciding to be cheeky.

Magnus smirked, walking forward to hug him, “Sir? I like the sound of that.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Raphael groaned from the couch,“As much fun as it is to listen to you decided your next role-playing session. Let’s eat cake.”

Alec remembering his surroundings blushed, hiding his face in the crook of Magnus' neck. 

"Alright, boys behave. Now that the guest of honor is here, we can start the celebration, " Izzy cheered standing next to the table, "In honor of my brother, a few of us planned a speech or two, so he knows how important he is to us all." 

"That's not necessary, you guys. You've done enough for me." 

Maryse asserted with a maternal tone, "Alec, sit down." She smiled before continuing," I'll go first. When I found out I was pregnant for the first time, I was nervous about if I'd be a good mother. You were such an observant baby, watching me like a hawk. As you grew, I knew how strong you were, even when you started to fall ill. It was evident the strength you carry. You're protective and loyal, two qualities I've always admired in you, my son. I know I've been distant, that's all on me. I didn't know how to handle you being so ill. When you needed your mother, I wasn't there for you. That's over, Alec. From now on, I'll be the mother my children deserve. The one you deserved all along. I'm so proud of the man you've become. Happy birthday, my little bear." 

Alec saw his mom's eyes brimming with tears. He knew in many ways he was similar to her, they both hid their emotions to protect others. Though he would never admit it, it made him happy she called him her little bear again. She gave him the nickname as a toddler. According to her, Alec didn't speak unless necessary, but he'd randomly give her and Izzy bear hugs. 

"My turn," Jace smirked from across the room, "My mom is right when she describes Alec as protective, but he's also compassionate. I don't talk about it often, but my experiences before meeting the Lightwoods were not great ones. For months after I moved in, I had nightmares. Alec would guide me to the living room and watch cartoons with me until I fell asleep. I never told him how much it meant to me. Alec, you have always been there for me, and know how to make me feel better. If anyone deserves to feel appreciated on their birthday, it's you." 

Magnus came up behind Alec and kissed him on the forehead. Alec couldn't help but smile, "Let me guess, Magnus, you're next." 

"Darling, I'll let other people shower you with affection since I do it daily. The final person who wanted to say something is..." 

"Me, Alec it's me, " Max jumped next his mother. 

Alec gestured to Max, "The floor is yours, little man."

"Alec, you are the best big brother. I know that you'll always be there when I need you. You're a better role model than Dad was, I want to be like you when I grow up. Happy birthday, Alec."

His chest tightened at Max's words; he couldn't believe his little brother looked up to him that much. There was nothing in the world that could wipe the smile off his face; even the mention of his father, "Thank you, Max. Thanks, everyone. You all know how to make a man feel loved. Now, enough about me. How about we eat cake?"

"As you wish, Alexander," Magnus motioned for Raphael to cut the cake. 

Alec leaned back in the chair, watching everyone swarm the table. Each person finding a spot, laughing while chatting about anything and everything. A year ago, he wouldn't have classified himself as a lucky person. What a difference a year makes, and the love of someone special. Magnus met his gaze with the most dazzling smile. Yeah, he was lucky, and he wouldn't change a thing.


	16. The Key to Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Magnus is away on a business trip Alec spends time with his siblings. Also, Magnus comes to an important realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies, 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday season and the new year is being good to you. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the newest chapter, I'll admit it took me some time to write because nothing felt right and I got stuck. If you're still with me, thanks! 
> 
> Take care, everyone,
> 
> Ashlee

Alec was having an awful day. He woke up late, nearly making himself late to the meeting with the lawyer prosecuting his father's case. The only positive thing from the discussion was he discovered his father and Camille took a plea bargain. The details about their arrangement didn't matter as long as they were out his hair. They'd receive lesser jail time than they deserved, but Alec was grateful the nightmare was over.

In retrospect, the day wasn't terrible; Alec was just brooding because Magnus was on a business trip. His boyfriend left three days ago, but it felt longer. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. 

_From Magnus <3: Hello, Darling. I miss you. Can't wait to see your handsome face tomorrow. Love you. _

Alec smiled despite his sour mood. He'd never understand how Magnus knew when he needed reassurance. 

_To Magnus <3: Thanks, babe. Love you too. How did you know I needed that?_

_From Magnus <3: Just a lucky guess. Did it ever occur to you I miss you as much as you miss me? Messaging you could have been purely selfish._

_To Magnus <3: I doubt it, you're the least selfish person I know. I'm glad you messaged me. We both win. _

_From Magnus <3: I'm not sure about that. Have you seen how handsome my boyfriend is? I'd say I'm the winner in this relationship._

Alec's cheeks reddened; this always happened when Magnus complimented him. His phone vibrated again, 

_From Magnus <3: Let me guess, you're blushing. What if I told you that you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever come across, or that your smile warms my heart? Would that make your blush deepen? _

Magnus knew him too well. He always pushed the right buttons to get the reaction he desired from Alec. 

_To Magnus <3: Behave, babe. Why make me blush if you can't even see me? _

_From Magnus <3: You have a point. I'll save the rest for when I get home tomorrow. My meetings about to start, I'll call you tonight. Miss you. Love you, Alexander._

Alec responded with a string of heart emojis; he could picture the smile on Magnus' face as the read receipt showed the message read. There was a knock at the door causing him to set his phone down. He didn't need to open the door to know it was Izzy on the other side of it. His siblings demanded a movie night since Magnus was gone. 

"Alec, we know you are in there. Open up; it's time for the Lightwood Siblings' Movie Extravaganza." 

As he opened the door, he rolled his eyes at her, "You've been spending too much time with Simon."

"Lighten up; Magnus will be back soon. Stop your moping, big brother." 

"I'm not moping," He looked down at his crossed arms then back up at Izzy's raised eyebrow, "fine, maybe I'm moping." 

"Don't worry, man. We are happy you have someone worth missing." Jace clapped his hand on Alec's shoulder as he entered the apartment. 

Alec loved his siblings; he knew that no matter what they'd always have his back. He looked around but didn't see his youngest brother. 

"No Max, again?" 

Izzy nodded her head, "He's still having a difficult time being away from Mom. Ever since the incident, he's been sneaking into bed with her. I think he's afraid something will happen to her if he leaves." 

"Maybe now that Dad's going to jail for a while, he'll be able to relax," Jace interjected. 

"We can hope, he saw something that no child should see. I more than anyone knows how terrible our father is; he threw me out for something I couldn't control."

"Big brother, you know that we all support you. I'm so proud of you for coming out, and not letting Father force you back in the closet. You inspired me to go for what I believe in, which is why I changed my major. Dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps, but I'd rather be a forensic pathologist than a lawyer." 

Alec smiled, "Izzy, that's amazing. You'll be the best forensic pathologist around. You should be proud of yourself. You made this decision, not me."

"Thank you, big brother. Knowing you have my back made it easier to take the risk and switch majors." 

Jace interrupted, "I'm proud of you too, Izzy. Speaking of decisions, what movies did you pick for us to watch tonight?"

"Well, I thought we could go back to our childhood and watch some Disney movies. Aladdin, The Lion King, and 101 Dalmatians." 

Leave it to Izzy to bring the only movies they could agree on as children. Alec never argued with them, but his siblings had varied tastes in everything. He always let them make the decisions, he enjoyed seeing his siblings happy. 

"That's a great idea, Iz. You set up the TV, and I'll grab some snacks. And don't worry; I bought stuff you guys eat. No need for you to suffer because my stomach is defective." 

Hours later, after Izzy and Jace fell asleep, Alec's phone made a noise. He knew it was Magnus.

_From Magnus <3: I know you're having a movie night with your siblings, but can I steal you away for a few minutes. _

_To Magnus <3: I will always make time for you. Can we FaceTime because I miss your face?_

_From Magnus <3: We could, or you could open your front door and talk to directly to the face you miss so much. _

Alec shoved his phone back into his pocket and ran towards his door. They've been dating for months, but he always got butterflies when he was near. Once he reached the wooden surface that separated him from his boyfriend, he threw the door open.

Magnus smiled, "Alexander, my darling, I missed you so much I decided to take the earliest flight home. Please, give me the biggest hug." 

Alec pulled him through the doorway into his arms, "Anything you ask, as long as you never go away again."

"Unfortunately, I can't make that promise. No matter how much both of us with I didn't have business trips. Instead of focusing on the fact I left, let's go cuddle. I slept poorly without you by my side."

"That sounds like the best way to end an amazing night."

______________________________________________________ 

Magnus had been planning this date since he arrived home from his business trip. Alec didn't question why he didn't have luggage when he showed up at his door that night. His plan was to show up with breakfast the next morning, but stepping into his apartment without Alec felt wrong. He knew his boyfriend was having a movie night with his siblings when he got home and didn't want to interfere. Thinking back he's glad he did, it showed Alec felt the same way he did.

Magnus was going to ask Alec to move in with him. Dinner was in the oven, and the key made. He was waiting for Alec to come over after spending the day with Max. Magnus suggested that the youngest Lightwood should see a therapist after what he had witnessed, and his family agreed. Today was his first session with Magnus' therapist recommendation. He started when he heard a knock at this front door. 

"I'll be right there," Magnus called towards the dark wood. 

"Don't leave me out here for too long." 

Magnus smiled as he opened the door, "Give me a good reason for me to let you in." 

"My boyfriend tells me that I'm quite the kisser. I'm sure that's enough of a reason." 

"Oh, Alexander, you know me too well," he ushered Alec through the doorway, "Please, come in."

They made their way to the kitchen. A place Magnus hopes will become their kitchen. Magnus' bedroom will become their bedroom. He was excited. But then again, what if Alec said no? 

"Babe, what's going on in that mind of yours?" 

Magnus looked in Alec's direction, "I was thinking about Max. How was his first appointment?"

Alec's eyebrow raised, "I'm going to pretend you didn't just lie to me. You'll tell me when you're ready, right?"

"I promise, Alexander. Please, tell me all about Max." 

"We went out for a smoothie at Izzy's work. Max told us that he liked the woman you suggested. He feels better knowing his reaction was normal. I think this was the best decision we could have made for him." 

"That's wonderful, darling. I know from personal experience how helpful therapy can be. Now, did anything else happen to you today?" 

Alec nodded, "My landlord sent me an email about the new lease to the apartment. They'll be raising the rent by two hundred dollars. It's frustrating; I don't want to ask my mom for more help." 

Listening to Alec talk about his situation made the perfect chance to ask him to move in. Magnus planned to ask after dinner, but he couldn't wait. He took Alec's hand and guided them to sit on the couch. 

"Alexander, do you like my apartment?" 

Magnus had to hold back a laugh when Alec gave him a confused look. 

"Of course, I love being in your apartment. Why is there a vacancy in your building?"

"No, sweetheart," Magnus squeezed Alec's hand, "There is, however, a vacancy in my bed that I'd like to have someone permanently reside in." 

He watched the wheels turn in Alec's head before he asked, "Are you asking me to move in with you?" 

"Yes, I am. I had an extra key made, and I even emptied a drawer for you." 

"An entire drawer? Wow, you must love me." 

"That's an understatement. Alexander, the nights you weren't here I don't sleep well." 

"Is that why you came to my apartment that night? Even after arriving home." 

Magnus blushed, "You noticed?" 

"I notice everything you do. Is this why you were nervous and lied earlier?"

"I was afraid you'd say it was too early, or that you didn't want to." 

Alec reached up to brush a stray hair from Magnus' eye and stopped the cup his cheek, "There is nothing more I want in this world than to live with you. I'm in this for the long haul, Magnus. You have to know how much I love you. Waking up next to a boyfriend who loves me, in our bed, is something I never thought I'd have. Of course, I'll move in with you."

"Alexander, you make me the happiest I've ever been. Thank you for loving me." 

"No need to thank me, it's easy. What's not to love about you?"

Magnus closed the distance between them to initiate a soft, slow kiss. When they broke apart, they left their foreheads touching. 

"So, you can tell your landlord you won't be renewing your lease. And your rent will be cheaper here because there's two of us. You'll be doing me a favor. And the chores will split in half." 

Alec laughed, "The truth comes out. You want a house-husband." 

"As thrilling as the image of you in a maid's outfit is, in all seriousness, I hope you never feel I'm taking advantage of you. You don't have to rush back to work now that we are living together. I'll remind you again; you're never a burden." 

Magnus noticed Alec shift nervously away from him. He didn't know why, but clearly, Magnus wasn't the only who had a secret. 

"Thanks, babe. There's something I haven't told you. I've been writing a novel over the past two months. When everyone I know is working, and I'm still not able to, I want to be productive." 

"Alexander, that's amazing. I'll support anything you try. We're a team. Is this something you've always wanted to do?"

Alec nodded, "When I was growing up, reading was my escape. I spent my allowance on books and spent hours at the library. Over the years, I noticed there are few stories with characters like you and me." 

"What do you mean? People like us," Magnus tilted his head to the side. 

"I'm writing our story. A story about a gay man getting his happy ending. Something I needed when I was kicked out. There were no gay role models for me to look up to, and I want to be that. Representation matters, Magnus. Young adults like you and me, deserve to be noticed." 

Magnus was in awe of his compassionate boyfriend. He admits it was the same for him growing up. There weren't a plethora of other bisexuals to talk to about his feelings. He had Raphael and Ragnor through everything, but it wasn't the same. Alec squeezed his hand, that's when he realized silent tears escaped his eyes. 

"I didn't think it was possible to love you more, but then you show me how sweet you are. Alexander, I'm thankful for you."

The moment was interrupted by Alec's phone dinging. 

_From Mom: Can you and Magnus come over?_

Alec showed Magnus the message, and they shared a confused glance before Alec responded. 

_To Mom: Of course, is everyone okay?_

_From Mom: Yes and no. I received troubling news about your father. I'd rather tell you in person._

_To Mom: Just tell me what happened. ___

__Their eyes snapped to each other after they read Maryse's response._ _

_From Mom: Your father was found dead in his cell this afternoon._


	17. Thanks for the Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the Lightwoods find out about Robert. One of them takes it harder than the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Everyone. 
> 
> I hope all is well and you enjoy the newest chapter. Sending you all tons love. I truly appreciate all your support. 
> 
> Have a wonderful weekend.
> 
> Take care <3

Magnus was shocked at the news of Robert's death. He sat in the dining room of the Lightwood home watching Maryse pace. They were waiting on Jace to arrive before she'd explain what happened. Understandable, if he were in the same situation, he'd want to tell the story only once. The door opened, 

"Sorry, my boss kept inquiring about my availability for next week. What was so urgent there needed to be a family meeting?" Jace asked as he took the seat next to Izzy.

Maryse steadied herself at the head of the table, "I received a call from your father's lawyer. He informed me that Robert was found dead in his cell." 

Gasps filled the room while Isabelle broke out in tears. Jace appeared stunned. Magnus could tell each child was experiencing conflicting emotions. 

"Maryse, do we know the cause of death?" 

 "We are waiting on the results of the autopsy. The lawyer suggested Robert experienced delayed-complications from his surgery, but can't rule out foul play. Your father upset high profile people."   

No one said a word. Magnus held onto Alec's hand under the table as he watched his boyfriend struggle to find the words. 

"It's not like he was much of a father. Good, I'm glad he's gone I hate him." Max yelled as he stormed out of the room. 

Maryse called after him, "Maxwell Joseph Lightwood, get back in here. Right now." 

The group heard a door slam shut, Magnus assumed it was the boy's bedroom. 

"I'll go talk to him," Alec went to get up, but Magnus interrupted, "No, Alexander, let me. I was close to his age when my mom died. He doesn't mean it, he's angry." 

When no one disagreed; he made his way to the youngest Lightwood's room. Magnus knocked on the door,

"Hey, little one, can I come in?" 

"I'm not apologizing." 

"That's not why I'm here. May I enter the lair?" 

"If you must."

Magnus opened the door and saw Max in the middle of his bed hugging a teddy bear. He walked towards the bed and pointed at the space, "May I sit?"

"Knock yourself out."

Magnus sat down far enough away from Max so he wouldn't make the young Lightwood feel crowded. He wasn't sure how to bring up the topic, part of him wanted to ease into the discussion. Magnus thought back to when it was him in Max's shoes. At the time, people sugarcoated the details and hid the truth. He wouldn't do that to Max; nothing hurts more than people talking down to you. Magnus sighed,

"I was around your age when my mother died."

Max sat up, "I didn't know your mom died." 

"She took her own life. One morning, I brought her breakfast and found her covered in blood. There was nothing I could do for her, but hold her while she died. I'll never forget how angry I was that she left me behind. It didn't matter what happened before, only that there was never going to be more time for us."

"Was your mom a good mom?" 

Magnus nodded, "She was the best mom; that didn't stop me from being angry with her. I knew she had terminal cancer, but I never gave up hope she'd recover. All I could think about was the moments we'd never have together. " 

"Magnus," Max paused before continuing, "does it make me a bad person that I am sad he's dead? He hurt Mom, and I overheard that he hurt you. I know Dad kicked Alec out of the house. I can't stop myself from being sad he'll never come home. Am I a bad person because I miss him?" 

"No, it doesn't make you a bad person. It's only natural to be sad about your father's death. He was good to you. You're feeling conflicted because you feel you shouldn't be sad, and it's making you angry. I understand I felt the same way. I felt guilty about how angry I was at my mom." 

Max shifted closer to Magnus, "He used to make the best pancakes. Dad taught me how to play chess. He gave each character a different voice when he used to read me bedtime stories. Even this teddy bear, he gave it to me after a business trip. All those memories, but now the first thing I remember is him holding Mom against the wall. Why did he do it, Magnus?" 

"I honestly don't know, little man," Magnus answered while wrapping an arm around Max. "I know how it feels. When I think of my mom, the first memory I remember was our last. It does get easier with time." 

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Max laughed. Magnus shot him a confused look. 

"We should tell Alec he can come in now, instead of standing outside the door." 

"How long do you think Alexander has been out there?"

"Since the moment you shut the door. Alec's always been a protective big brother."

"I suppose we should put his mind at ease," Magnus called out, "Alexander, you can come in now." 

"I wanted to check in with you guys," Alec said, sheepishly as he walked into the room. 

"Max and I had a little chat, and I think we understand our feelings better. Isn't that right, little one?" 

"Yes. I'm sorry for yelling, Alec. I was feeling too much, and it didn't come out the right way."

Magnus watched Alec kneel in front of his brother and take his hands, "You're not the only one who feels conflicted. I'm sad, even though we had a rough relationship near the end. He was still our father. We miss the version of him who was a good father." 

"Is Mom mad at me? I ignored her." Max's asked, refusing to make eye contact with Alec. 

"No, but she is worried about you. When Dad went to jail, it was tough on all of us. You should talk to her." 

"Alec?" 

Alec raised an eyebrow, "Yes, Max?" 

"Is it okay if I cry?" 

Magnus could tell, he wasn't the only one confused by the question. Alec brushed hair away from Max's eyes before asking, 

"Of course, you can cry. Max, why would you think otherwise?"

Alec didn't get an answer. Max launched himself into his brother's arms and started to cry. The force caused Alec to fall back to sit on the floor. In a different setting, under different circumstances, it would have been comical. It only made Magnus' heartbreak as he watched his boyfriend soothe his little brother. If the sight wasn't enough, Alec's words cut him to the bone. 

"It's going to be okay, Max. Shh, I've got you. I'm not going anywhere." 

Words Magnus wished someone said to him after his mom died. There were no hugs, only blame from his step-father. The house where music played, and laughter rang through the rooms was left silent and cold. He didn't want that for Max. Blame, that's when it hit him. Max blamed himself for his father's death. Robert needed surgery after Max stabbed him, so in the boy's mind, it was his fault.

"Little one? Can you look me?" 

Max turned his head enough to make eye contact with Magnus who moved to sit next to the brothers. 

"Your father's death was not your fault." 

"But I stabbed him with a butter knife. Mom said delayed-complications from surgery." the boy argued. 

Magnus gave Max a sad smile, "The surgeons easily repaired the stab wound. Your father suffered head trauma when he fell. While painful and susceptible to infection, the stab wound was not fatal." 

The explanation brought on a new round of tears from the boy. Magnus couldn't tell if they were from sorrow or relief. Max held onto Alec for dear life; all Magnus could do was rub Alec's back. He knew listening to his brother cry was difficult for Alec. There was nothing he could do or say that would fix the situation. 

After what felt like hours, Max's sobs turned into soft snores mixed with whimpers. The young boy drained himself and fell asleep in Alec's arms. The room was uncomfortably quiet when Alec asked, "How did you know he blamed himself?"

"To a child, you are either at fault, or you're not. In his mind, he stabbed his father and then he died. Convoluted situations aren't apparent to someone young."

"What made you realize it? I didn't even think of it." 

Magnus sighed, "You were comforting him, and it reminded me of what I never had. I didn't have siblings or love from another parent. All I had was empty walls and my drunk step-father. I was thirteen years old and missing my mom. The only time he spoke was to blame me for her death or tell me I wasn't good enough. For years, I believed him. I recognized the guilt in Max's voice." 

He shifted closer to Alec and let his head fall to his shoulder, "Alexander, I miss my mom." 

"I know, babe. She'd be so proud of the man you've become." 

"You think so?" 

Before Alec could answer, someone took the words from his mouth. 

"Your mother loved you so much, Magnus," Maryse said as she walked towards him. 

"How much of my sob story did you hear?" 

She knelt down before them, and touched his cheek, "Enough to know you're resilient, strong, and intelligent. There's no doubt in my mind your mother is smiling down on you." 

Magnus wiped a few tears from his cheeks, "I didn't mean to make your trauma about me. You lost your husband. My mother died years ago." 

"Magnus, you've looked out for my children like they're family. Max has improved since you suggested therapy. Alec is happier than I've seen him in years. From the moment I met you, I knew I could trust you with his heart. I may have lost my husband, but through this whole mess, I gained another son." 

"Maryse," Magnus was lost for words. He laughed to himself, the Lightwoods all seemed to have the ability to render him speechless. Alec kissed him on the forehead while Maryse squeezed his hand. 

"I'm the mother of four amazing children, so listen carefully. Your mom loved you with all her being. She loved you the moment she knew of your existence. You're not to blame for her death. Mothers are still flawed; she succumbed to her demons. There was nothing you could've done. And if you ever doubt that, if your step-father's voice overpowers yours, call me. You may not be my son by blood, but from this moment on you're my son."

"You, Lightwoods, are going to be the end of me," he said with a wet chuckle. "Now I see where Alexander gets the ability of heartfelt declaration from." 

"Alec was always a straightforward person. You knew exactly what he was thinking. He perfected his glare before he was five." 

"Oh, please tell me you have pictures."

"Guys, I'm right here." 

Magnus looked up at Alec fondly, "Yes, yes you are." 

"Now, let me take Max from you. You two deserve a moment alone. And don't worry about waking him. He's a heavy sleeper." 

As Maryse walked towards the door with Max in her arms, she paused, "I love you both. We'll get through this together as a family."

Magnus smiled as she closed the door, "Family sounds great." 

Alec pulled Magnus into his lap now that his arms were free. Magnus melted into the embrace. 

"Magnus?" 

"Yes, Darling?" 

"Do you think I'll be a good father?"

"There are few things in life I'm certain of but you being a good father is one of them. Any child would be lucky to have you. Why do you ask?" 

Alec shrugged, "I've been thinking about my Dad. He was good to me as a child. Mom told me he cried when he held me for the first time. How did that man become the one who died in a jail cell?" 

"Alexander, your father had no problem with you until you tested his prejudices. He loved you with conditions. I know it's hard to reconcile the memories of your youth with the man who kicked you out. You'd never treat your child as he treated you. Look at your siblings; you supported Isabelle when she switched majors. You suppressed your pain to help Max through his. And Jace, you support him doing whatever it is he does."

Alec laughed, " I see your point. You'll make a great father someday too." 

"I'm not sure about that, Alexander. I gave up the idea of fatherhood before I met you. I've been afraid to let myself hope for that future. Robert at least pretended to be a good father. My step-father never made any effort." 

Magnus felt Alec's hands move up his arms to cup his face. His eyes met glistening hazel ones. 

"I'm going to marry you one day, Magnus Bane. I'm going to make you a father somehow. You don't need to be afraid to hope. I don't need years with you to know that you're it for me. Life is messy, and there's no one else I want to navigate it with but you." 

There it was again, Alec's blunt honesty. 

"That better not be your proposal," Magnus teased. 

Alec laughed in response, "When I propose it won't be in my brother's bedroom. There will be a ring and a nice dinner. I'll blow you away with romance."

"I don't doubt it, my Alexander." 

Magnus' face found the crook of Alec's neck; he left a soft kiss. He felt pieces of his heart fall back into place after years of not healing. Inhaling the scent of his cologne, Magnus thought Alec had no idea how grateful he was. Alec gave Magnus a family. He gave him hope that the future wouldn't be as dark as his past. Where he used to see pain and loneliness, he saw warmth and love. 

Magnus brought their foreheads together, "I love you, Alexander." 

"I love you too, Magnus." 

It was a promise sealed with a kiss. 

"I know I just gave you a key to move in, but do you want to stay with your mom for a few days?" 

Alec raised his eyebrow, "If you think I'm going to let you leave my side after reliving traumatic moments, you're crazy."

"Alright, Lightwood, show me to our room. I think we both deserve a nap."

"That's music to my ears, babe."

When they got into bed, and Magnus finally closed his eyes. He thought to himself. _Mama, I think I'm actually going to be okay._


	18. You're the Sun in My Stormy Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec have a small disagreement. Magnus can't believe he was so stubborn. And Alec is questioning feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, Lovelies 
> 
> I hope you all are alive after that Malec promo for Season 3. 
> 
> Take care, everyone. 
> 
> Much love to everyone who is still with me on this journey. <3

Alec officially moved into Magnus' apartment not too long after his father's funeral. He saw his grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Everyone was shocked to learn about Robert's criminal past. He felt terrible for his grandmother, no matter what his father had done, she was still burying her child. She sobbed into his grandfather's side as they lowered Robert's body into the ground. There was a twinge of sadness for the father Alec remembered as a child, but that was all. 

Magnus' voice called from the kitchen,"Hey, sweetheart, everything ok?" 

"Don't worry, babe. I was thinking of the funeral. I know it was a month ago, but it still doesn't feel like life has calmed down. Since we've gotten together, it's been one thing after another." 

Magnus hummed in agreement, "It has been an eventful seven months, hasn't it?" 

Seven months? Alec's mind exploded, the meant Magnus' birthday was approaching. And not to mention, Christmas. Great, so much for relaxation. He must have silent for too long because Magnus sat next to him on the couch. 

"Alexander, are you sure everything fine?" 

Alec smiled, "You reminded me that someone has a birthday coming up. Someone who is extremely important to me." 

He felt the mood instantly change. Magnus brushed it off, 

"Oh, darling, you don't have to worry about that." 

"You made a big deal about my birthday. It made me feel special. I want you to feel as amazing as you made me feel." 

"You already make me feel special; there no need to make a fuss. Plus, you hate gatherings." 

Alec was confused; his boyfriend was always up for a party. 

"You love a good party, and I love anything that involves you." 

Magnus stood up from the couch, "Alexander, drop it. I said there's no need. End of discussion." 

"Oh no, this discussion is far from over," Alec paused, "especially when I can tell you're upset. It'd be a celebration of your life, the life of my favorite person. Why wouldn't I want to have all our friends over?" 

"I said drop it, Alexander," He snapped back.

Alec reached for his boyfriend's hand only to have him move his hand away, "Magnus, what's wrong?" 

"I don't have time to talk about it; I have a meeting to prepare for." 

"Your meeting isn't for another three hours," Alec responded glancing at the clock. 

"It's an important one. So, don't wait up; I'll be in late. Have a good night, Alec." 

Alec watched Magnus walk towards the door. He didn't understand what was happening. Did Magnus call him Alec? He never calls him that, it's always his full name. That wasn't the voice Magnus used with him. He opened his mouth to question him but noticed the door shut. His shoulders dropped, and his chest deflated. 

"I love you," Alec says softly to the empty room. 

He inhaled sharply. Why didn't he let it go? Magnus wasn't ready to talk about what was upsetting him. Alec could see it in his eyes. Why didn't he drop it? Frustration bubbled to the surface and his fist collided with the decorative pillow on the couch.

Alec looked around, and it felt like the walls were closing in on him. The fight resembled how it started with Scott. He had to prepare for projects. He became more irritable with Alec as time passed.  

He needed to fix this; Alec couldn't let what happened with Scott happen with Magnus. He wouldn't survive if Magnus were to walk out on him. There had to be a way to prevent it. 

**To Izzy:** _Let's say Simon upset you, how would he be able to make it up to you?_

**From Izzy:** _What did you do?_

 **To Izzy:** _How did you know?_

**From Izzy:** _Simon rarely upsets me, but he knows by now that chocolate is the go-to for forgiveness. So, it made sense you're asking for you._

**To Izzy:** _So, chocolate?_

 **From Izzy:** _Don't worry, big brother. Whatever you did, I'm sure he'll forgive before you know it. That man is infatuated with you._

 **To Izzy:** _He didn't say he loved me when he left. I'm not sure what happened._

 **From Izzy:** _Alec, calm down. The argument may have nothing to do with you. Magnus is a wonderful boyfriend, but even he can make mistakes. My shift's about to start, don't dwell on it. <3 _

He shoved his phone into his pocket. Izzy wasn't helpful, and the walls continued to feel constricting,

"Screw what the doctor said, I'm going for a run," Alec mumbled to himself then groaned, "Who the hell am I talking to?" 

He dusted off his running shoes and walked right passed his pill organizer. The negative voices in head kept going for the jugular. 

_**How could you think he loves you?** _

The chill in the air made it harder to breathe, but he kept running. Ignoring the pain in his muscles. It wasn't enough; the doubt crept through. 

_**You don't deserve his love.** _

Alec pushed himself to run faster through people leisurely walking through town. He saw a couple holding hands on a lunch date. Parents pushed their children in strollers. 

_**He deserves a whole person, you're holding him back.** _

The words were too much; Alec couldn't escape the darkness in his head. All the pain he pushed back for his family broke past the walls he built. 

The sounds of his surroundings were being drowned out by the negative thoughts. He didn't hear a woman asking if he was okay. He didn't notice he slowed down to almost a crawl. Alec's knee gave out from under him as he tumbled to the ground. He sensed people crowding him, the happy couples and parents stopped. He managed to ruin everyone's day.

"Everyone back up, I'm a nurse," A familiar voice demanded as it broke through the rest of sounds.

"Alec, it's Catarina. Ragnor's called an ambulance. You're going to be fine."

"I'm sorry," was the last thing he said before he slipped unconscious.

________________________________________________________ 

Magnus sat at his desk; he felt awful for how cold he was with Alec. In all of the conversations about his past, he hadn't mentioned that his mother died on his birthday. The day was not one of celebration, but one of mourning. He should have told him the truth, but something held him back.

He knew Alec had the best of intentions, and he pushed them away. That handsome man held him through nightmares. The smile he gave after each kiss, stole the breath from his lungs. Alec was always there for him, and this morning he treated him poorly. He needed to rectify the situation as soon as possible. A quick email sent to his assistant to push the meeting to end of the week, and he walked to the elevator. 

His phone vibrated in his pocket, whoever needed him could wait. Annoyance flashed across his face when it started to vibrate again. Fishing the device from his jacket, he noticed three missed calls from Ragnor. Catarina's face popped on screen, and he quickly slid his finger across the screen to answer the call, 

"Catarina..."

She interrupted him, "What took you so long to answer?" 

"I'm at the office. People tend to do work at the office." 

"Magnus, you need to pack yourself up. While I was out to lunch with Ragnor, we saw Alec pass out on the sidewalk. He's on his way to the hospital."

His brain stopped working. What was his Alexander doing that caused him to pass out? He was on his way to the hospital. Oh no, was he having another episode? It's been months since Alec's last one. 

"Magnus? Can you hear me?" Catarina's voice cut through his thoughts. 

"Yes, which hospital?" 

"We are about to pull up to your office. You didn't think we'd let you drive, did you?" 

Magnus smiled, he knew he was too distracted to be behind the wheel. 

"Catarina..." 

"I know. Don't say another word; we're outside." 

The ride to the hospital was nerve-racking, Magnus couldn't stop thinking of terrible outcomes. He walked out of the apartment without saying he loved Alec. What if the last memory Alec has of him was one of coldness? 

As the hospital came into his view, this was the same one where Alec had his appendix removed. The hospital where Magnus stayed after his attempt on his life. He wanted to steal his boyfriend away and put him a bubble to keep him safe. 

"Magnus, he's going to be fine." 

He glanced over to Catarina who gave him a sympathetic smile. 

"I snapped at him this morning, Cat. All he wanted to do was throw me a birthday party. Instead of communicating with him the reason behind my apprehension, I left without even telling him that I love him." 

"Well, we are at the hospital now. Once we get to Alec's room, you can explain it to him." 

"Promise, Alec's going to be okay?" 

Cat put her hand on his shoulder, "I know nothing I say will ease your mind. Let's get you to your boyfriend, lover boy."

Magnus loved how his friends knew him so well. Catarina held his hand and asked all the right questions to locate Alec. The minute he stepped into Alec's room, his heart stopped. How could such a tall person look so small? He took a chair and brought it to Alec's bedside. 

He grabbed Alec's hands, the hands that cradle his face when Alec goes in for a kiss. The hands that brush tears from his eyes when he's sad. Magnus felt foolish for holding back this morning. If Alec would open his eyes, he'd kiss him and tell him he's sorry. 

Magnus heard people enter the room; he knew it must be Cat and the nurse. All he could see in his mind was the image of Alec passing out on the sidewalk among strangers. The idea of receiving a call from an unknown number sent a shiver down his spine. He owed Cat her favorite bottle of wine. 

"Excuse me, Mr. Bane, are you comfortable discussing his condition? I can tell you're distressed." 

He shook his head, "I'll feel better when he opens his eyes, but in the meantime. I'll answer your questions." 

"Thank you; it appears Mr. Lightwood was very dehydrated from overexertion and a little malnourished. People at the scene told paramedics he was running for almost a half an hour. He didn't appear to be aware of his surroundings. Does he suffer from panic attacks?"

The question surprised Magnus, "He doesn't have a formal diagnosis, but events over the past few months could have triggered one. The only diagnosis I know about is Gastroparesis. You see, his father died recently, and Alec's been taking care of his family. I should have paid more attention; he tends to neglect himself when people he cares about are in pain." 

"Do you know if Alec takes a multi-vitamins to counteract the lack of from his diet? I want to update his medication list." 

Magnus paused, he felt selfish, he didn't do the research he promised Alec. He didn't know how his boyfriend was treating his illness. 

"Honestly, Alec keeps everything about his illness to himself. If he's not, can you recommend vitamins he should take?"

"Capsules and tablets can be hard on the stomach; I'd suggest a chewable multi-vitamin. For now, we have Mr. Lightwood hooked to a saline drip to get fluids back in his system. The doctor will be in to check on him once he wakes. Take care, Mr. Bane."

Magnus waved him off and turned his attention to the sleeping man on the bed. The noise from the nurse shutting the door must have woken Alec; he stirred under the cheap sheets. 

  "Alexander?" 

Alec's eyes opened slowly; he pulled a face. Magnus knew all his expressions well; he was confused. 

"Mag... nus?" 

He smiled, "Yes, do you know where you are?" 

Alec glanced around, Magnus knew he was becoming more alert, "Why am I in the hospital?" 

"It seems we have a lot to talk about, darling. You gave me quite the scare." 

"I'm sorry," Alec mumbled as he nuzzled the pillow under his head. The day's events caught up with him; he frowned. "I upset you. I never got you chocolate. I was supposed to get you chocolate." 

Magnus chuckled, "What on Earth are you talking about, Alexander?" 

"Izzy said Simon gets her chocolate when he upsets her. I upset you, but didn't get you chocolate." 

"It's fine, darling. I have you that's more than enough." 

Alec pouted, "I'm sorry." 

"You don't need to apologize; we had a small disagreement because I'm stubborn. This one's on me, sweetheart. Close your eyes. You need your rest. I'm not going anywhere." 

"Promise?" 

Magnus leaned to kiss Alec's forehead, "Of course, darling; don't you know that you're the sun in my stormy skies? I love you, Alexander." 

"I love you too."

Magnus watched as Alec closed his eyes again. He loved this man more than he's ever loved before. He'd make things right with Alec, they'd move past this small bump, and maybe he'd let Alec throw that damn party.


	19. Discussions and Appreciation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus have a discussion following the hospital visit. And Magnus celebrates a new holiday.

Alec couldn't believe he passed out on his run and ended up in the hospital. How did he let that happen? He was a grown man stuck on the couch because his boyfriend was afraid of him straining himself. In Magnus' defense, they only got home from the hospital an hour ago. He knew a discussion was on the horizon. As if Magnus could read his mind, he returned from the kitchen with a cup of tea. 

"Alexander, are you up to talk about what happened earlier?" 

He shrugged, "Why not?" 

"We can wait if you need more time to rest." 

"No, Magnus, let's do it now. I feel uncomfortable around you, and I hate feeling this way. We need to have this discussion. I want this to be behind us."

Magnus took a seat next to him on the couch. Alec wasn't sure how this would go. Was Magnus still upset with him about his suggestion of a party?

"Alright, Alexander, I'd like to go first. If I may?" 

Alec nodded for him to proceed, and Magnus smiled. 

"First, I want to apologize for being cold to you. You didn't deserve it. I was stubborn about my birthday, and if I had told you the reason, we could have avoided this whole situation."

"Why don't you like your birthday, Magnus?" Alec prodded. 

"I told you my mother took her own life, but I never told you it was on my birthday. The day became a day of mourning for me, not celebration. If I only told you that when you suggested the party, we wouldn't have argued. I'm deeply sorry, darling. And to make matters worse, I left without saying I loved you." 

Izzy was right; the argument had little to do with him. Alec reached for Magnus' hand who didn't pull away this time. Their eyes connected, and Magnus gave him a shy smile. Magnus continued, 

"Now, that I've said my piece. I want to understand what happened after I left. You told me yourself the doctor hasn't cleared you for strenuous workouts." 

Alec looked at the ground and sighed, "When you walked out the door; I remembered how things fell apart with Scott. I panicked you would leave me, and all my insecurities came at me. The walls of the apartment made me feel claustrophobic. I needed to let out the frustration." 

"Alexander, you know you can't...,"

"You don't understand," Alec interrupted, "I feel trapped by my own body. I'm limited, and it's infuriating. If I'm upset, I can't work it out like Jace. Or eat my feeling with pizza like Izzy. I'm stuck in this emotional cyclone that never ends. How many times can I have this conversation before it gets old?" 

He felt Magnus' hand rest on his back, slowly moving up and down the spine. Alec glanced over at Magnus, 

"How long until I feel like a real person? How long until I feel whole when I'm by myself? Why did I think we could have children someday when I can't even nourish myself? Magnus, how long until you get tired of dealing with my illness? Because I already am." 

Alec hated how his voice sounded when it cracked. He was deep in thought; that Magnus' question caught him off-guard. 

"Have you grown tired of helping me through my nightmares?" 

"No," Alec's eyes opened wide, "You can't help it, and it means I get to hold you. I don't enjoy the fact you experience them, but I love you. I'll always help you." 

"That's how I feel about you, Alexander. I take no pleasure in seeing you ill, but I get to hold you through it. You let me rub your back when you have episodes. You snuggle into my side while I hold you tightly on the couch. You trust me with the darkest parts of yourself," Magnus kissed Alec on the cheek, "I love you, darling. You're stuck with me." 

"You promise?" 

"I promise. We are a team, and I think over the past few months you took on more responsibility than you should. You hid your pain from me, and your family. We both need to talk to each other when something is affecting us. You had no idea I was upset about my mother, and I didn't know you felt trapped." 

Alec nodded, "It's a terrible habit. Growing up, I put my sibling's pain first, so this is new to me. I've never felt comfortable expressing my pain, not like this. Not like I do with you."

"The same goes for me. I'm an only child; I didn't have anyone to talk to about how I was feeling. We are similar through different circumstances." 

He leaned into Magnus, who wrapped his arms around his upper body. Magnus was right; they were alike in many ways. Alec thought the conversation was over, but Magnus continued. 

"Darling, there's one more thing I'd like to discuss." 

"Oh, okay. What's on your mind?"

Magnus paused, "While you were still unconscious the nurse asked me questions about your condition. I couldn't answer them, and that upset me. You've kept your treatment to yourself, and I want that to change. If something were to happen to you, I want to be able to tell them without a shadow of a doubt how you're treating your Gastroparesis. I need to know what medications you're taking. Are you taking a multi-vitamin? What are you allergic to?"

Magnus' hands had started to move quickly, as he got more worked up. Alec grabbed them to get his attention, 

"Magnus, I love you. I had no idea you felt this way. You have to know that I wasn't hiding it from you. Things got hectic, and..."

"You neglected yourself," Magnus finished the sentence for him. 

Alec opened his mouth to disagree, but his boyfriend was right. He didn't eat the proper foods or take vitamins to offset what he couldn't eat. He was too focused on his family, and how they were feeling, he didn't take care of himself. He bowed his head,

"I'm sorry." 

"No need for apologies, Alexander. We will work harder at our communication. I feel we've always done well in that department, but we got distracted. No one's perfect." 

Alec turned his head up in Magnus' hold to see his stunning eyes looking at him fondly. They were beautiful and expressive. He can't believe he questioned Magnus' love for him. 

"Magnus, thank you for loving me. And reminding me that I'm important." 

"No need to thank me, you do the same for me. We are quite the team. How about we settle in for the night and watch a movie?"

Alec nodded his head, "Sounds like the perfect night." 

Magnus pulled him until they were lying on the couch. Alec let his head rest on Magnus' chest while his boyfriend turned on the TV. He knew there'd be more discussions, but he was happy. He was content, and most importantly he was loved.

_______________________________________________________________ 

Weeks later, Magnus found himself in his office going through a mountain of paperwork. When he reached the bottom of a contract to sign, he realized it was a day before his birthday. He couldn't keep himself from rolling his eyes. Alec never mentioned having a party for him after they returned from the hospital. He even stayed silent at Thanksgiving dinner.

"What are you doing here, Magnus?" 

He glanced up to see Raphael in his doorway, "How can I help you, Raphael? You may be my best friend, but that doesn't mean you can slack on your job." 

"You know that I can babysit you, and do my job at the same time."

Magnus rolled his eyes, "That doesn't answer my question, how can I help you?" 

"I was informed by your boyfriend to make you leave at this time. Alec told me to be discreet, but you and I both know that's now how I work. Leave now, go home to your boyfriend. Be disgustingly in love. All I know is you can't be here."

"Do you know what my lovely boyfriend has planned? I thought he'd forget about my birthday." 

"I don't know. I don't want to know," Raphael sighed, "I know that day is hard for you. Trust me; we've been best friends for years. Let someone wine and dine you, Magnus. Let him celebrate your life. You're important to many people, including me."

"Wow, I never thought I'd see the day where you'd be this sentimental. Are you feeling okay?"

Raphael groaned, "This is why I don't compliment you. You make it a bigger deal than it needs to be. Go home, before I change my mind." 

"Alright, calm down. I'm leaving. I wonder what Alexander has planned for me." 

Magnus' thoughts consumed him the entire drive home. All he thought about was his mother, and the parties she used to throw for him. He knew how much his mother loved him. On the day he should celebrate his birth, as normal people do, he'd wallow.

He was home before he knew it; nervously tapped his foot on the elevator floor as it ascended closer to his loft. Magnus knew that Alec was a thoughtful person, but he didn't expect to see him outside the door waiting for him. 

"Alexander, what's going on?" 

"I have a surprise for you, so I need you to close your eyes for me." 

Magnus could only nod, he felt Alec's hand pull him to follow. He knew they were heading towards the dining room table. When Alec stopped in front of him, he did the same.

"You can open your eyes now." 

He gasped; Alec made a candle-lit dinner in their apartment. The tablecloth was new, and there was a bottle of Magnus' favorite wine on the table. 

"Alexander..." The words died on Magnus' tongue. 

"I know you didn't want to celebrate your birthday tomorrow, so we are celebrating Magnus Appreciation Day. And coincidentally, it falls the day before your birthday," Alec smirked, "not sure how it happened." 

Magnus couldn't help but crack a smile, "I'm sure you have no clue. So, Alexander, how does one celebrate Magnus Appreciation Day?" 

"Well first, there needs to be dinner with some drinking. For you, of course. I made lasagna with a side of garlic bread. All gluten-free. Your recipe was easy to follow, by the way. After dinner, we are going to take a bath together. Izzy helped me pick out one of those fuzzy bath things you enjoy. And finally, we are going to watch the movie of your choice with some ice cream." 

Magnus moved forward to grab Alec's hand. 

"Anywhere in the plan do I get kissed by my handsome boyfriend?" 

Alec laughed, "Kisses are mandatory. How else did you think we'd spend our time in the bath?"

"I love the way you think, Darling." 

A few hours later, while he was in between Alec's legs in the tub, Magnus thought back to what Raphael said. People cared about him. He knew Raphael was right, but for the first time in a while, he felt deserving. 

Alec kissed the top of his head, "What's on your mind?" 

"Honestly, Alexander. I'm happy. Thank you so much for tonight." 

"I enjoy making you happy. You do know that we're celebrating Magnus Appreciation Day every year, right? It's my favorite holiday." 

Magnus' laughter rang through the bathroom; it felt like the weight in his chest disappeared. 

"I love you so much, Alexander Lightwood." 

"I love you too, Magnus Bane." 

He felt Alec's arms tighten around him. Tomorrow was his birthday, and he no longer dreaded it. Magnus knew with Alec by his side; he'd get through anything. Unknowingly, this hazel-eyed man was healing years of masked pain with his contagious smile. 

"This is the best thing anyone has ever done for me." 

"Wait until you see the gift I got you." 

Magnus snuggled into Alec and let his eyes close a bit.

"You are the only gift I'll ever need The best I've received." 

"Has anyone told you that you're incredibly cheesy?" 

" Says the man sitting in purple water from a bath bomb he doesn't know the name of, only because it made me smile." 

Alec laughed, "You got me there. Come on, let's get out before you fall asleep on me. I know you'll love your present." 

After they dried off and put on some sweatpants, Magnus opened his gift. Alec was right; he loved it. Inside a small box held a beautiful necklace with a skeleton key. The key had a sapphire on it in the shape of a heart. He instantly knew it was Alec's birthstone. Magnus looked up at Alec with a smile. 

"Thank you, Darling. I love it." 

Alec's smile brightened the room, "it's the key to my heart." 

"Now who's being cheesy?" 

"I never said I wasn't; I only said you were." 

Magnus pulled him in for a soft kiss. He was blown away by how loving, and thoughtful Alec was. It brought tears to his eyes, ones he only noticed when Alec wiped them away. 

"For years, I've dreaded my birthday more than any day. I did all I could to forget it. You have no idea how much this night meant to me. People have tried to force me to celebrate. You made a fake holiday, completely separate. Thank you, Alexander."

"Oh, it's a real holiday. Magnus Appreciation Day is every day for me. Don't forget; the night's not over. We still have a movie and ice cream waiting." 

Magnus chuckled, "How could I forget? Go get the ice cream, and I'll pick out the movie."

As he watched Alec head towards the kitchen, he knew that no one would make him feel this loved. At that moment, he knew he was going to marry Alexander Lightwood. It wasn't just a passing thought anymore; it was his future.


	20. We Wish You...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Magnus' birthday is over... it's time for Christmas. What does Alec have in store for Magnus? How will Malec spend their first Christmas season as a couple?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone, 
> 
> SHADOWHUNTERS IS BACK!! FINALLY! We made it through the hiatus. 
> 
> I'd like to quickly apologize for the delay. I wanted this out sooner but illness and a job layoff affected my mood to write. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, and new episode today. 
> 
> WE MADE IT!

Christmas was in four days, and Alec had one present left to buy. The final gift was for Magnus. There were smaller gifts he picked out, but the last one was the most important. He was going to propose to Magnus. None of the rings fit Magnus' personality. Did he pick one as vibrant as his personality or one simple enough to wear with everything? Today, he was having lunch with his mother. She would know how to help him. At least, he hoped so. 

What if he didn't find a ring suitable for Magnus before Christmas Eve? He was ready to call Magnus his husband. 

"Bear!" 

Alec looked up to see his mom walking towards the table. They chose a small cafe near her work. He pulled out his mother's chair and kissed her on the cheek. No one could say his mother didn't teach him manners. 

"Mom, thanks for joining me." 

Maryse laughed, "You think I'd decline the opportunity to have lunch with one of my children? You've all grown up on me; this Mama will take all the time she can get." 

"Mom," Alec rolled his eyes, "You know, we love you." 

"I know, and I love you. I wish I had more time with you while you were small. You'll understand when you and Magnus have children." 

He raised an eyebrow, "Is that a hint?" 

"There's no pressure on you, Bear. You know how much I love Magnus. He's perfect for you." 

"I never thought I'd have a guy like him. When Scott cheated on me, deep down, I think I knew. I never confronted him because I thought I deserved it. What did I have to offer someone? Magnus showed up when I needed someone the most."

Maryse reached across the table to take his hand, "Bear, that's a failure on my part. I abandoned you when you needed me. I gave you money, but no emotional support. I'm sorry. You're worth so much. Don't ever forget that." 

"Thanks, Mom. And don't apologize, it's in the past." 

"I love you, Alec. Now, I know there was a reason you asked me to lunch. You are dying to ask me something." 

His mother knew him better than anyone other Magnus. While he could pull the wool over his father's eyes, it never worked with her. She made him the man he is today. It wasn't until that moment he realized the magnitude of what his father almost did months ago. If Max didn't come home that afternoon, would his father have killed her? 

"Bear? What's wrong?" 

That's when he noticed a few tears had fallen from his eyes. He used a napkin to wipe them away. 

"I'm sorry, Mom. I don't know why it didn't occur to me that Dad could have killed you that day." 

Her lips formed a sad smile, "You're still working through your feelings. After you met me at the hospital, you put your big brother hat on and didn't take it off. Magnus told me how you were neglecting yourself. I'm glad you're finally letting yourself heal." 

"I see, you and my boyfriend are conspiring against me," Alec couldn't help but tease. 

"We were worried about you. We love you." 

"I know," he cleared his throat. "I asked you to lunch for a reason. I want to propose, but I'm having a hard time picking a ring that suits him." 

"I was hoping you'd say that." 

She reached for her purse and pulled out a small box. When she snapped open the box; inside was a beautiful golden wedding band.

"Mom...," his breath caught in his throat. 

"Your grandfather wanted my firstborn to have this ring. To give you this ring when you found the woman — or in your case — the man who you want to spend your life with." 

She handed him the ring. His fingers traced over the intricate engraved patterns around the ring. The ring looked Victorian; it was simple but with elegant design. He had been looking in all the wrong places; he looked at flashy rings. This simple ring felt like it belonged on Magnus' hand. His grandfather's ring. 

"Mom, this is perfect."

She smiled, "The only condition is you call me directly after Isabelle when he says yes." 

"You don't want me to call you first?" 

"I do, but we'd both be in the doghouse if you didn't call her first." 

His mom was right. Izzy would be devastated if she wasn't the first person to know. 

"You know; I remember when you were children. It was before Jace came to live with us. Isabelle was having nightmares, and nothing your father or I did calmed her down. One night, you walked right passed us. We watched you from the doorway read her a bedtime story about a princess. Do you remember what she asked you?"

Alec smiled at the memory of his sister as a child but shook his head. He didn't remember that particular night. 

"She asked you if you'd still be there when you met your princess. You told her with the conviction of a man beyond your years that you'd never fall in love with a princess. You were going to be her knight; you'd slay all the dragons. She slept soundly next to her big brother."

"I don't remember that, but I do remember she didn't like it when Jace showed up."

Maryse tilted her back as she laughed, "Can you blame her? She had your undivided attention then this boy shows up. Oh, she threw some big fits. You kept your promise though." 

"I did?" he raised an eyebrow. 

"You never fell in love with a princess. A prince maybe, but not a princess." 

"Mom, I can't wait for him to be my husband." 

She reached a hand across the table, "I'm so proud of you, Bear. You fought for yourself. You never gave up on love. The two of you have something special. Now, let's order some food. I can imagine the nerves have been doing a number on your stomach."

Alec smiled, picking up the menu. He was still nervous, but his mother was right. He and Magnus had something special.

__________________________________________________________ 

Magnus was excited; it was Christmas Eve. The first he'd get to spend with his boyfriend. Alec informed him they'd be exchanging one gift after dinner. He couldn't believe how much his life had changed from the beginning of the year.

He usually spent the holidays with Raphael and the rest of the Santiago family. His plans changed after meeting Alexander. He'd miss Raphael's family, but Magnus was happy to spend Christmas with the Lightwoods. Nevertheless, it would be rude not to send a holiday greeting.

_To Raph: Merry Christmas, Raph. Give Rosa and your mother my love._

_From Raph: Will do. If you and your loverboy need to escape his family, you know where we live._

_To Raph: How considerate of you. Trying to get off Santa's naughty list?_

_From Raph: I take it back._

_To Raph: You know you love me._

_From Raph: My mother is fond of you, so I suppose I'll continue to humor you_

_To Raph: You'll admit it one day._

_From Raph: Not a chance. Feliz Navidad, Magnus_

Magnus smiled as the said aloud, "Feliz Navidad, indeed."

"Babe, I'm home." 

Magnus turned around to see Alec entering the living room. 

"I see you survive Christmas Eve shopping. Honestly, Alexander, next year we'll make sure you don't wait until the last minute."

Alec grabbed Magnus by the waist and pulled him close, "You know I was helping Jace; if I left him to his own devices, poor Clary would be getting a waffle iron. I want this Christmas to make up for all the terrible things this year. Other than meeting you, you have to admit it's been a crazy year."

"True, between your father's death and Camille resurfacing it has been insane. Although, the good has far outweighed the bad."

"Is that so?" Alec raised an eyebrow. 

"Why of course, Alexander," Magnus brought his arms and wrapped them around Alec's neck. "Having you by my side outweighs any terrible thing that's ever happened to me. I get to hold you, kiss you, tease you, and most importantly love you." 

"When you talk like that it makes me almost forget the plans I have for tonight."

Magnus parroted, "Is that so?" 

Alec's smile lit up the room; Magnus would never tire of seeing him happy. The longer they stood in the embrace the closer their lips got until they were touching. The kiss was slow. Magnus loved how soft Alec could be. He felt Alec's hands slide down Magnus' back before both his hands rested on Magnus' backside. Even though Alec wasn't provocative with the touch, Magnus couldn't help but tease. 

"I know you're not copping a feel before you treat me to dinner. That'd be ungentlemanly of you."

Magnus felt a soft spank to his left cheek, and then Alec squeezing it firmly in his hand. 

"I'm not doing a good enough job if you're able to think about dinner." 

With a kiss on Alec's cheek, Magnus pulled back. 

"Come on, Darling. You have plans for tonight, remember?" 

A few hours after dinner; Magnus sat on the couch. The Christmas tree as the only source of light in the room. He knew which gift he wanted Alec to open first. He hoped he wasn't overstepping, but he was proud of this gift. Alec emerged from the kitchen with two mugs of eggnog and asked,

"So, who wants to open first?" 

"I think you should, Darling." 

With no arguments, Magnus got up from his seat to hand Alec the present. He watched as his boyfriend carefully undid the bow, and treated the wrapping paper with care. It made him laugh, 

"I bet you drove your siblings nuts growing up." 

Alec smiled, "You don't even know the half of it." 

Alec gasped when he finally removed all the paper. His eyes were wide, holding a new laptop box in his lap.

"Magnus, you shouldn't have. This way too much."

"No, it's not," Magnus reached for his hand. "You've been writing your book on a computer that's days away from dying. I want you to achieve your dream. Plus, this laptop is lighter. You can be the stereotypical writer who spends their day in a cafe." 

"Babe, thank you so much. Now, it's time for you to open yours. Grab the small bag right in front of the tree."

Mangus picked up the bag carefully. It was black with white glitter resembling snow. He opened the bag to find a small box and a card. The envelope said, "Read me, second." When he snapped open the box, inside was a golden snake ear crawler. He put the box down to read the card, 

**Magnus,**

**Merry Christmas. I hope this is the first of many. When I saw this snake ear crawler, I knew it belonged to you. The color was perfect; it will match the ring nicely.**

**Love you,**

**Your Alexander.**

Magnus was confused. He didn't remember a ring in the bag. It wasn't until he looked up that he understood. Alec was on one knee in front of him, holding a golden ring in his hands. Magnus couldn't remember how to breathe as Alec spoke. 

"Magnus Bane. I love you more than I ever thought possible. You came into my life when I need someone the most. You cared for me. Showed me how important I am. Magnus, you brought me back to life. I don't remember life without you, and I never want to. You're it for me. I don't need years with you to know that I want to be your husband. So, Magnus Bane, will you marry me, Alexander Lightwood?"

He laughed and cried at the same time, "If you think my answer is anything other than yes, you're crazy. Of course, I'll marry you." 

The entire world disappeared while Alec slipped the ring onto Magnus' hand. He couldn't get over how beautiful it was. 

"Alexander, this is beautiful. Where on Earth did you find it?" 

Alec blushed, "It was my grandfather's wedding band. I was having a hard time finding a ring that suited you, but when my mom showed it to me. I knew it was yours. My gut may not function well, but it's always right when it comes to you." 

"You've set the bar pretty high for yourself. How do you expect to top this?" 

"Oh, I'm sure I'll find a way. With you, anything is possible." 

Magnus let the light from the tree reflect off the gold from the band. Never in a million years did he expect to be engaged to someone so loving, and pure. He pulled Alec from the ground into his arms until they were lying on the couch. 

"Alexander Lightwood, I love you." 

"I love you too." 

Tomorrow they'd spend the day with the Lightwood family. Magnus smiled down at Alec and was beyond grateful to have this quiet intimate moment. He never fantasized about being proposed to, but Alec gave him everything he didn't know he wanted.


	21. A Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to celebrate Christmas with the Lightwood family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologize for how long it's taken me to finish this chapter. Nothing felt right, my depression came back full force and I didn't feel like anything let alone writing. I feel like myself again. I started a new job, and I'm getting back into writing. I truly appreciate if you've stuck with me through the ups and downs. I think there will be 2 more chapters of this story. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. You guys are the best. :)

Magnus woke up; it was Christmas morning. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the engagement ring. He still couldn't believe he was engaged. The proposal replayed in his mind. Alec thought it was Magnus who brought him back to life, but Magnus felt the opposite. Life before Alec was only business trips, and night of watching television while drinking alcohol. His soul felt whole, and now his nights were filled with laughter, conversations, and lots of kissing. He didn't think the smile would disappear from his face. Magnus was going to marry Alec. 

He felt Alec snuggle into his side and kiss his chest, "Good morning, babe." 

"Good morning, indeed." 

"It's our first Christmas together. I can't believe you agreed to marry me."

Magnus shifted, so they were facing each other, "Why does that surprise you? You know how much I love you." 

He watched Alec's face while he answered. 

"Even after I came out to my parents, I never felt comfortable with my sexuality. I dreamt of meeting someone like you but never believed I could have it. I wanted someone compassionate, someone, who listened. A person I could count on when I couldn't count on myself. I felt I didn't deserve it, you know? What did I have to offer? I went on random dates that never made it past the first. Scott was the only one who got a second date; he was smart and funny. It wasn't all bad. As my health deteriorated, so did the relationship. I started to put up these walls. I knew he'd leave; I could feel it. What he felt for me was conditional. Then I met you. I can't believe I have the relationship of my dreams. It blows my mind that you are mine." 

Magnus' eyes filled with tears halfway through. He would never get used to Alec's honesty. 

"Oh, sweetheart, you need to let me have coffee before you hit me with those heartfelt declarations. My heart can't handle it," Magnus cupped Alec's cheek. "Alexander, I'm yours. I knew from the first night you stayed here that I wanted you to be mine. I trusted you; it was instinctual." 

"I felt it. I didn't know why I trusted you, I just did." 

They didn't say another world, just held each other close. Magnus knew they'd need to get out of bed soon. They were spending Christmas at the Lightwood home. That's when he remembered the family breakfast was at nine. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand. They had less than two hours before they'd need to head over. 

"As much as I'd rather stay in bed all morning giving love to every part of your body. We need to get up before your sister shows up on our doorstep." 

Alec groaned and pulled the sheet over his head. 

"You know she will, Alexander." 

"I know, but I'm enjoying having you all to myself.

"You'll have me to yourself when we get home. Plus, the sooner we get up; the sooner we can come home. And tonight, I have an extra special present only you can see." 

Alec pulled the sheet back from his face, "And what would this present be?" 

"If I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise. I can guarantee you'll love to unwrap it." 

"Not even a little hint? Come on, Magnus. That's not fair." 

Magnus laughed, "Get up, Alexander. Every minute you waste protesting is a minute I add to teasing you. And you know how much I love teasing you."

A knowing smile appeared on Alec's face. He sat up and threw the sheet at Magnus. Everything happened so fast; it distracted him from Alec's whereabouts until he felt familiar arms pull him towards the edge of the bed. He looked up to see Alec, smiling down at him. 

"Come on, future husband. There's a shower waiting for us, and a day of everyone gushing at how perfect that ring looks on your finger." 

Two hours, and a long intimate shower later, they arrived late to the Lightwood home. They didn't even have to knock because Max opened the door, 

"You guys are late. I'm starving. Mom wouldn't let us eat until you got here." 

Magnus laughed at the boy's impatience. Alec put a hand on Max's shoulder. 

"Go get cleaned up for breakfast. Tell Izzy I need to speak to her first." 

Max, eager to eat, ran towards the kitchen screaming for his sister. 

"Max, you know the rules. No running in the house," Alec called after him. 

"Don't worry, darling. He's excited. It's good to know he didn't lose the holiday spirit." 

"I know what you mean. I was anxious about today; you remember how Max acted when he found out Dad died. I want today to get well."

Magnus stepped closer to pull Alec into a hug, "Alexander, you're worrying too much. It's Christmas, be merry."

"Sorry to interrupt the moment, but Max said you wanted to see me." 

They both turned to see Izzy smirking at them. Alec cleared his throat. 

"Yes, Izzy. Umm. There's something I need to tell you. Something happened last night. I..." 

Her amused expression changed, her eyes widened. It wasn't until Izzy wrapped her arms around her body that Magnus realized Alec was giving her the wrong impression. He grabbed Alec's hand. 

"Darling, you're frightening your dear sister. She thinks you're dying." 

"Oh! No, no, it's good news, Izzy. I asked Magnus to marry me, and he said yes."

She punched Alec in the arm, "Damn it, Alec." 

"Ouch, Izzy. What the hell?" Alec nursed the arm, "That's not the reaction I expected."

"Don't scare me to death the next time you have good news." 

Magnus laughed at the exchange between the siblings. He was alone until he met Raphael, even then he didn't feel apart of the family. Izzy's attention moved from her brother to him. He felt her excitement as she threw herself into his arms. 

"Finally, I get a brother with good fashion sense." 

"Hey, I resent that. I have fashion sense." Jace complained, walking into the living room. 

"You have one look, Jace. Wearing a leather jacket doesn't make you stylish. Magnus knows the importance of variety." 

Jace rolled his eyes, "So, what was all the noise about?" 

Magnus knew Alec wanted to tell his mother after Izzy. He nodded towards the kitchen and Alec smiled, knowingly. Magnus kissed him on the cheek before pushing towards the kitchen. Alec was able to read Magnus better than any person in his life. As Alec retreated from the group Jace asked,

"Well, is anyone going to clue me in?" 

Magnus smiled, "Your brother asked me to marry him. I said yes." 

"That's amazing news," Jace's eyes went misty. 

Izzy smiled mirroring Jace's expression. The Lightwood siblings were the closest siblings he'd ever encountered. They knew each other well and could communicate with only a look. Magnus looked at Izzy and cocked an eyebrow. Jace answered, 

"We watched Alec disappear into himself. Nothing we did helped him. He stopped smiling, stopped enjoying things he usually did. You helped him see how important he is, and how he's more than his illness. I know he could have done it himself if he wanted to, but he was giving up. Thank you. You were apart of the family before the engagement, but now it will be official." 

Izzy jumped up and down, "Now let me get a good look at the ring." 

He held out his hand, he loved the ring, but he didn't expect Isabelle to gasp as she did. Jace seemed to be on the same wavelength as Magnus. She sighed,

"That's Grandpa Trueblood's ring. Mom told me how it had been passed down from father to firstborn son. She said it was intended for her brother, but he left home. He never returned. They weren't able to figure out what happened to him, but he's assumed dead. She held onto the ring after Grandpa died because it was a part of the life her brother was supposed to have."

Magnus was at a loss for words. The ring meant a lot of Maryse, and she wanted Magnus to have it. He brought his hand closer to his heart, 

"If you'll both excuse me, I have a mother-in-law to hug." 

He walked quickly towards the kitchen. When Magnus first met Maryse, he never expected to develop the relationship he had with her. The sight of Alec hugging his mother close filled his heart. He caught Maryse's eye. 

"Magnus, sweetheart. Come here, welcome to the family officially. I'm so proud that you'll be a Lightwood." 

"Lightwood-Bane." 

Magnus and Maryse turned to Alec, "Darling, you want us to hyphenate?" 

"Yeah. We haven't discussed it, but I figured we could have a bit of each other. We are equals in this relationship. I thought..." 

Magnus reached for Alec's hand, "I think that's a brilliant idea, Alexander. Lightwood-Bane has a nice ring to it." 

"We get it; you guys are in love. Come on; I'm starving, let's eat." 

Attention shifted to the doorway, where Max was pouting. Magnus reached out to guide Max to out of the room, 

"Alright, little one, how about we go bring your other siblings to the table and let Alec talk to your Mom." 

Max sighed, "At this rate, we'll never eat breakfast." 

"Maxwell Lightwood cut the attitude, or I'll return all your presents."

"Sorry, Mom"

Magnus looked around; he was finally part of a family. A family he could call his own. As he watched the Lightwoods swarm the dining room table, all smiles, and laughter, he knew he found where he belonged.

__________________________________________________________ 

Alec smiled as his family made their way to the living room with the large tree as a focal point. There wasn't a holiday that came to memory where he'd been this happy. He took his usual spot on the couch; it's funny how things become a habit. When Magnus went to sit next to him, Alec grabbed him by the waist and pulled him on his lap. He loved the chuckle from Magnus as he said,

"Darling, there's more than enough room for me on the couch." 

"I know, but humor me. I've had to share your attention all morning." 

"Aww, poor baby. Is my Alexander feeling neglected?" Magnus teased. 

The warmth that spread through Alec's body sent a smile to his face, "God, you're the best thing to happen to me." 

Moments like this happened all the time. Magnus called them heartfelt declarations, but he called them honesty. The happiness that radiated through his body when Magnus was near was impossible to contain.

"Alexander, how do you always catch me off-guard?"

"I only tell you how I feel when I feel it." 

Magnus smiled, "You'll be the death of me." 

"Before we all die from cuteness overload, let's open presents." 

Alec rolled his eyes at his brother as he tossed a pillow in Jace's direction. 

"Fine, only if Izzy opens a gift from me first." 

"Yay, presents!" Izzy rubbed her hands together, excitedly.

Alec handed her a small bag from under the tree; she quickly opened the present and pulled out a shirt. The shirt was red with the words; _I can save myself_ , written on the front. She smiled at him, "Alec, this is perfect. I love it. Thank you so much." 

"I saw it when out with Mom. She told me a story of us as kids. I read you bedtime stories and promised you that I'd always protect you. You don't need me anymore, but I'll always be there for you like you've always been there for me."

Izzy teared up, "I'll always need you, big brother. You are my role model. Always and forever."

He felt Magnus shift from his lap as Izzy leaped from her spot into his arms. Alec hugged his little sister close. 

"Simon is still treating you well?"  
"Yes, he's good to me."  
"If there's a time he isn't.."  
"You're the first person I'll call to help dispose of the body."  
Alec laughed, "That's my little sister." 

"Can I get in on the Lightwood sibling cuddlefest?" Jace asked from the chair across from them.

Izzy hugged him closer, "No, Jace, get your own Alec. This one is mine." 

"I thought we were over this jealousy," Maryse teased. 

"Never, he was my big brother first." 

Alec laughed; he felt Magnus laugh next to him. He had the best family in the entire world. Alec didn't know why he was worried about the holiday. The Lightwoods were strong, loyal, and fiercely protective. One more glance at his fiance, laughing at something Max had said to him; he knew there was nowhere on Earth he'd rather be. There was no one on Earth better for him than Magnus.


	22. Roles Reversed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The holidays are over, time to go back to the real world. 
> 
> Magnus has been working too hard, and something happens that shows Alec how strong Magnus really is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe the mid-season finale is this week. I hope you enjoy the new chapter. My new job has been taking more of my energy than I expected. Thanks for being patient with me, and I hope you still enjoy the story. I'll always come back. 
> 
> Take care, lovelies.

Months had passed since Christmas, despite the happiness the holiday brought, the new year followed shortly. With the new year, came new business deals that required his attention. Magnus was working late for the fourth time this week. He was trying to seal the deal with a new supplier, and he was compiling all the information by himself. His assistant went into labor at the beginning of the week, and her replacement folded under pressure. So, here he was at 10 pm, desperately trying to finish the proposal. His phone buzzed beside him, 

**From Alexander: Babe, come home. I miss you.**

**To Alexander: I have to finish this proposal by next week. And Sarah went on maternity leave.**

**From Alexander: You've been working yourself to death. Come home. I'm worried about you.**

**To Alexander: Don't worry, Darling. When this is over, I'll take a few days off. I promise.**

**From Alexander: You do remember you can delegate that work to your employees, right?**

**To: Alexander: Alexander, this deal needs to get through.**

**From Alexander: Fine, guess I'll have to take a nice bath all by myself with no one to hold in my arms.**

**To Alexander: You're not playing fair.**

**From Alexander: Goodnight, Magnus.**

Magnus groaned when he set his phone down. He regretted not asking Raphael for help. The longer he stared at his monitor, the harder it was to write the proposal. A noise came from outside his office door; his heart rate quickened. No one else was supposed to be in the building. His eyes darted around the room; he scanned for an object he could use to protect himself. Magnus saw the paperweight Raphael gave him as a graduation present many years ago. 

The door opened, and Magnus chucked the paperweight at the intruder. Raphael narrowly dodged out of the way. 

"Your loverboy is lucky I care about you, or I'd murder you for that." 

Magnus held a hand over his heart, "What was I supposed to do? No one was scheduled to be in the building after 6." 

"Yeah, because that's when normal people go home to their families. And a tall bird told me you've been staying late all week. Why on Earth did not ask for my help?"

"I can handle this myself; I don't need anyone's help." 

Raphael rolled his eyes, "This has to do with your step-father's comment during last week's meeting, doesn't it? You know he's full of it, Magnus. Why do you let him get to you?" 

"No matter how hard I've worked, it's never enough for him. I got perfect scores in school, even when he sent me to that boarding school in London to get rid of me. I'm a good businessman, my numbers are good, and he had the nerve to dismiss my input towards the growth of his company." 

"Magnus, your employees love you. Out of all the brands in your father's company yours is the most profitable. You know this. The world knows this. Don't let him get you down."

Magnus sighed, "I'm trying not to, but he had the audacity to bring up my mother after the meeting was over. He asked if I've brought flowers to her grave. I had to remind him it's February. You know I bring flowers to her site each spring."

"Go home, let me finish the proposal. You know I can handle it." 

Magnus opened his mouth to protest but knew fighting with Raphael was pointless. A bath with his fiancé sounded like the perfect way to end the night.

"Fine, I'll leave the rest of the work in your capable hands. Don't screw it up, Santiago."

Raphael smirked, "I can do this better than you, and you know it." 

"You keep thinking that. See you in the morning. Thank you for this." 

"Don't mention it. At the risk of sounding too sentimental, you're like a brother to me, and I hate seeing you doubt yourself. I haven't seen you this low since before you meet Alec. Take care of yourself." 

Magnus smiled, "Thanks for having my back, Rapha." 

"Get out of here before he calls Cat thinking I was unsuccessful. You know she hates when her sleep is disturbed."

"Don't worry; I'm leaving. I do value my life." 

During the drive home, Magnus listened to music to keep himself awake. He missed falling asleep next to Alec, and the feeling of the soft kisses Alec would place on his shoulder. He loved the way Alec cuddled closer under the sheets. He missed the little things Alec did as he'd drift off to sleep. 

Magnus blinked as the stoplight went from red to green. He pushed on the accelerator when headlights caught his attention. He saw a car approaching quickly from his right with no intention of stopping. Magnus' reaction time wasn't fast enough, and the other car hit his passenger side door.

Everything happened so fast; the car spun in the intersection of the usually busy street. Magnus couldn't get his bearings. The airbags went off when his car collided with something; he assumed a street light. 

All he could sense was the pain, an overbearing amount of pain. Magnus tried to move his arm but screamed out. He realized his wrist must be shattered. He heard noises outside when someone ripped open the driver's side door. 

"Sir, the paramedics are on their way."

He wanted to smile, and thank the good Samaritan but he was losing consciousness. The pain and impact of the collision were taking over. His eyes started closing. The last words he heard were, "Sir! Stay with me."

__________________________________________________ 

Alec fell asleep on the couch disappointed that Raphael didn't convince Magnus to come home. He understood how important this contract was, but Magnus needed to take care of himself too. He wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep when he was brought out by someone knocking at the door.

Alec groaned, "Maybe if I don't answer they'll go away." 

The knocking only got stronger, and a loud voice yelled. 

"Lightwood, open the door. NOW! Before I rip it off the hinges." 

Why was Catarina pounding at the front door? He sprang up from the couch and threw the door open. She pushed her way into the entryway. 

"Not that I'm unhappy to see you, Cat, but why are you here," he glanced at the clock,"at eleven at night?"

"Get dressed; Magnus was in a car accident and is being transported to the hospital as we speak." 

And just like that, his heart stopped. He began to panic, asking tons of questions. He needed to know.

"Is he okay? How bad was the accident? Was he conscious at the scene? Who hit him? What are we waiting for let's get to him." 

Cat grabbed his arm, "Take a deep breath, Alec. One step at a time. We'll find you a shirt, and I'll explain the situation in the car." 

In so many ways, Cat was like his sister, and he appreciated the friend he had made in her. He lost himself in thoughts of Magnus when she tossed a blue shirt in his direction. 

"He loves the color blue on you, he'll appreciate seeing it when he wakes up," She smiled. 

On the way to the hospital, the pair sat in silence. Alec thought of all the things he wanted to experience with Magnus. They still needed to get married, adopt children, and grow old together. This isn't how their story ends. 

"Magnus will be fine." 

Alec glanced at her hands; she gripped the steering wheel tighter. 

"Magnus and I have been friends longer than he's been your fiance, and I've seen him survive worse. You know better than anyone how stubborn he gets."

Alec chuckled in response. Magnus survived losing his mother, and what Camille did to him. Alec knew how strong Magnus was, but he it didn't stop his anxiety. 

"Magnus was the same way when I called him the day you passed out on the sidewalk. He loves you more than he's ever loved another. He's found someone who I trust with his heart. Not even the angels could take him from you." 

"Thanks for being the one to pick me up. I'm not sure I'd be this calm in the car with Raphael." 

It was Cat's turn to laugh, "Yeah, Raph's a hard one, but once he cares about you. He'll protect you with his life. He's the one who received the call. Magnus hasn't thought of changing his emergency contact. Ragnor's with him now."

"Do you really think Magnus will be okay?" 

Cat paused before answering, "For all our sakes, he has no choice." 

Two hours passed before Alec was allowed to see Magnus. The doctors told him that Magnus broke his right wrist, and arm. They didn't expect him to have any neurological trauma from the whiplash, but they were going to keep him from observation. They would know more when he woke up.

He sat next to Magnus' bed and took his left hand into his. Even bruised, Magnus had the most beautiful face. Alec knew how lucky they were that Magnus left the accident with broken bones. He could have lost the love of his life. He didn't know if Magnus could hear him, but he spoke to him anyway. 

"I don't know how to do this, Magnus. I'm usually the one in the hospital bed. This isn't how our relationship works, I'm the sick one remember," a wet chuckle left his lips, "When Cat told me you were in a car accident, I forgot how to breathe. You're stronger than I am. I don't know how you've dealt with my frequent hospital visits. I'm losing my mind. I can't do this without you. I love you, and I almost lost you." 

Magnus didn't move, and it made Alec more emotional. He let the tears he had been holding in escape his eyes. Alec needed Magnus to be okay. 

"You're going to make it back to me, you hear me? We are going to get married and build a family. We'll buy the house we always talk about, maybe even get another cat. Chairman needs a friend. I'll let you buy as many decorative pillows as you want, even if I don't understand the purpose. Who needs so many pillows? And another thing..."

His rambling was cut off by Magnus squeezing his hand. Alec's eyes widened. 

"Magnus? Babe, can you hear me?"

Magnus nodded. Alec could tell he was in pain, so he stood up and kissed him on the forehead. Tears continued to stream down Alec's face. Concern flashed over Magnus' eyes as he tried to speak, but Alec squeezed his fiance's hand. 

"Shh, don't worry. I'm going to get the doctor, and don't you ever scare me like that again. I love you too much to live without you. I'm going to take care of you, babe." 

Magnus gave him a small smile, and Alec's felt like he could breathe again. He rested his hand on Magnus' cheek, brushing some tears away. He was going to be okay. Catarina was right, Magnus would be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this didn't seem like a weird twist. I know bad things happen to Magnus, but I wanted to show how it felt for me when someone I loved was in the hospital. It's strange being on the other side sometimes. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! <3


	23. Taken Care Of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus recovers, Alec sees a therapist, and Magnus gets some interesting news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies, 
> 
> I hope you are well, out there fighting to save Shadowhunters. Since it has been a while since I've last posted, this chapter is a bit longer than usual. I finally pushed passed my mental block for this story. 
> 
> Much love to you all 
> 
> <3 Ash

Five days, five days passed since the hospital released Magnus and if Alec didn't stop coddling him; he was going to lose his mind. Other than cuts and bruises, he walked away with broken wrist and arm. He wasn't in danger of dying, Magnus wanted his fiance to relax. He wasn't allowed to even brew himself tea without Alec forcing him to leave the kitchen and sit down. The final straw was when Magnus reached for the remote, but Alec usurped his attempt to do it for him.

"I swear to God, Alec. If you don't stop hovering, you're sleeping at your mom's place. I'm not a child." 

That got his fiance's attention. Alec looked like a deer caught in the headlights at Magnus' tone. He rarely raised his voice, but enough was enough. That was until he saw Alec's shoulders sag in defeat. 

"I'm sorry," he heard Alec say in a hushed tone. There was a slight pause before Alec continued, "You almost died and I know I'm hovering, but I can't forget what I felt that night. It ridiculous, and I know you are healing. I keep thinking how close I came to losing the best thing that's ever happened to me." 

Guilt washed over him as he listened to Alec. Magnus remembered how it felt when Alec went into surgery. He recognized the fear under his calm tone. Magnus sighed, 

"Come here, Alexander." 

Alec hesitated before he filled the space next to Magnus on the couch. Magnus guided their foreheads together. He loved looking into Alec's eyes this intimately. 

"Darling, I'm here. I'm safe, and I'm not going anywhere. You're doing it again, bottling up your feelings to help others. Tell me you're scared. Tell me how it felt. If you want to feel close to me, cuddle with me. All you have to do is tell me. Okay?" 

Alec nodded his head softly against Magnus'. 

"I love you, Magnus. I thought you were going to die, and I'd be left alone again. You're it for me. No one wants a broken, useless man."

Magnus hushed him with his index finger, "You're far from useless, sweetheart. There are tons of people out there who'd kill for the chance to date a man like you. I'm lucky I got to you first. I mean, not only do you have a gorgeous body, but you have the purest heart."

"You're too good for me, babe." 

"No, Alexander, we are perfect for each other. I remind you to take care of yourself while you remind me to take a moment and appreciate what I have in my life. I'm sorry I snapped at you, you were only trying to help."

Alec shrugged, "I tend to hover when people I love are injured. You should ask Izzy about the time she broke her leg in middle school. I carried her books, and I think tried to carry her at one point. We got into a huge fight in the hallway at school. Guess some things never change." 

Magnus laughed at Alec's reddened cheeks; he had the sweetest blush. He missed these moments, feeling this intimate. His upper body was still a little sore, and he knew he could use it to his advantage. His head moved side-to-side, and the subsequent groan caught Alec's attention.

"Babe, are okay? Do you need to lie down?" 

"I can still feel the aftermath of the whiplash, mostly in my shoulders, neck, and chest." 

It wasn't fair to Alec how cheeky Magnus could be; it was rather charming how Alec had yet to catch on.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I can get you your heating pad." 

Alec went to stand up to retrieve the previously mentioned item, but Magnus stopped him with his left hand. 

"Darling, I was hoping you could... you know, give me some TLC no one else can. Ever heard of kissing someone's injury to make it better?" 

The lightbulb went off in Alec's head, and Magnus found it endearing to watch the confused expression turn into a smirk. Alec scooted closer to him captured Magnus' lips. The kiss was slow and passionate. He tilted his head to the side as Alec traveled across the left jawline to his neck. He left small bites on Magnus' skin, and he was enjoying every minute of it. A small moan escaped, 

"Alexander, you sure know how to make a man feel good." 

Alec untied Magnus' robe; he was thanking his earlier self for choosing an article of clothing this easy to remove. He saw Alec's eyes darken as the fabric slid off his shoulders. Alec paused, 

"Promise to tell me if you're uncomfortable at any point. Your arm and wrist need to heal. There's also some bruising."

"I'm sure we'll have no issue if you keep to the left side. You're always so gentle with me. You can travel south too if you wish," Magnus winked, leaning back into the couch prompting Alec to follow his lead.

Magnus relished the moan that escaped Alec's lips as he traveled down to Magnus' chest, carefully avoiding the bruises caused by the seat belt. Magnus was in heaven, even when Alec's teeth caught the corner of a bruise. He needed this, to feel this close to his fiance again. Alec's hand paused at the hem of Magnus' boxer, waiting for his permission. Did he think he'd say no? 

"Please," Magnus whined. 

For the first time since the accident, he felt like himself. He felt comfortable in his skin. He had yet to tell Alec, but he too thought he was going to die. The moment he felt the other car collide with his, every memory he experienced with Alec flashed before him. He had silently prayed he'd survive because his life finally had meaning. The feel of Alec's soft hands against his broken and bruised skin reminded him of how he survived. 

"Babe, are you okay?" 

Magnus failed to notice that tears had been slowly falling from his eyes. He was overwhelmed with love for Alec, and gratitude for life. Alec kissed his way back up to his lips, pausing to look into Magnus' eyes. 

"Oh, Alexander, I'm more than okay. I hope I didn’t ruin the mood." 

Alec shook his head, "Never, I could kiss you all day. It's one of my favorite things." 

"What are you waiting for, baby?"

"I don't want to hurt you, accidentally." 

The sincerity in his voice made Mangus smile; Alec was the most caring individual he's ever met.

"Don't worry, Alexander. We'll only kiss, and if passion strikes, let our hands roam." 

That's how they fell asleep, kissing each other softly on the couch. Magnus' back pressed against the couch, and Alec's arm draped over his waist. The last thing Magnus heard Alec say before he fell asleep was, "You're beautiful, Magnus. You're beautiful, caring, and most importantly mine to love."

________________________________________________________ 

Alec did his best to not hover after the discussion he had with Magnus a few days ago. The fear did not go away, and it was getting the better of him. He decided enough was enough and made an appointment to see a therapist. The ones in the past were of no help, but seeing how therapy helped Magnus and Max; he thought it was worth a shot. He sat in the waiting room of the office; the room had a pleasant feel to it. A soft voice called out,

"Alexander Lightwood?"

He quickly stood up, "That's me." 

"Lovely, as you know, my name is Aline Penhallow. Follow me, and we'll get started. How does that sound?"

"Good, I guess." 

She paused for a second, "It's perfectly fine to be nervous, Mr. Lightwood. I promise this will go at your pace." 

Alec only nodded in response; he followed her to her office. It wasn't like he'd expected. There was a picture of her and a woman with blue-green eyes. They were holding hands, and his therapist was smiling wide. 

"That's me and my wife Helen on our honeymoon." 

His head snapped towards her, "Wife? You have a wife?" 

"Is that going to be a problem, Mr. Lightwood." 

"No," he held up his hands defensively, "Other than my ex and my fiance, I haven't encountered many LGBT people. I was always nervous talking to my previous counselors about being gay."

She took a seat in one of the chairs in the corner across from her desk, and pointed towards the other, "In that case, please sit down and we'll begin the hour." 

Alec smiled, maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. He took sat down and stared at her expectantly. 

"So, what do you need to know about me?" 

Aline laughed, "This is not a question-answer session unless that would make you more comfortable." 

"I don't know what to talk about." 

"Well, why did you decide to set up an appointment with me in the first place?"

He sighed, "I don't want to feel useless and afraid anymore. I know people say I'm not, but all I do is sit home and write." 

"What do you write about, if you don't me asking?" 

"I've been writing a novel while I'm unable to work. The story is about how I met my fiance. He saved my life." 

"What do you mean when you say he saved your life?" 

Alec shrugged, "I felt trapped, nothing was going the way I hoped. My boyfriend at the time was cheating on me. I was in and out of the hospital, and I was unable to work. I was having a hard time finding a reason to live. I didn't want to die, but I didn't see the point in living." 

"And how did meeting your fiance change that?" 

"He took care of me, reminded me that I'm worth loving. You probably know of my father, and what he did. It was all over the news months ago. We didn't have a great relationship after I came out. You never expect your parents to stop loving you. One day I was Alexander Lightwood, son of Robert Lightwood... and the next I was just some..." Alec couldn't finish the sentence, the memory of his father throwing a homophobic slur at him replayed in his mind. 

"Alec, are you okay, do we need to slow down?" 

He shook his head, "No, I'm sorry. I got lost there for a minute. After my father disowned me, the little insecurities grew. If my father couldn't love me, why would anyone else? I thought it was part of being a parent, loving your child no matter what. In hindsight, his love was always conditional." 

"And what do you feel when you're with your fiance?" 

"When I'm with Magnus, I feel safe. There is someone I can depend on when times are tough. I can slip up and make mistakes. He doesn't get exasperated when I'm too sick to go out on a date we've planned. Magnus is everything I didn't know I could have. He has his faults, but I like who I am when I'm with him. I enjoy how we are a team, and that scares me." 

Aline cocked her head, "Why does that scare you? You feel secure in your relationship, that's a good thing." 

"He almost died in a car accident on his way home from working late. We are lucky he only sustained broken bones, but there was a moment where I couldn't breathe. I don't think I can live without him. That's what scares me; bad things happen every single day. I don't want to be too clingy or co-dependent. I'm always going to need him more than he needs me." 

"And why do you think that?" 

Alec blinked tears away, "I have Gastroparesis, and while it's under control of medication; there's a chance it will stop working. I've read of people needing feeding tubes, and even people dying. He hasn't thought of how it can change if we have kids, I could end up as a burden. Things get worse as a person ages, and is he ready for that?" 

"Are you ready for that? It sounds like you are afraid of what your condition could do to you? You do not like that you will need help from others." 

Alec paused at that comment, was he projecting his fears onto Magnus. He remembered all the late nights they stayed up talking about the future. They talked about children and buying a house together. He was afraid all their plans would fall apart if his condition worsened. 

His voice was soft when said, "I want to provide for my family, I want to give him the family he didn't have."

"That's admirable, Alec, but it sounds like you need to talk to him about your fears. I think this is a good place to stop for today." 

"Thank you so much, Aline." 

She reached her hand out to shake his, "I'll see you same time next week. Take care, Alec. Working on your mental health is a journey, not a sprint." 

When Alec arrived home, he processed the discussion from his session. He saw Magnus sitting on the couch watching the television. Alec didn't care what was on, the type of shows Magnus watched varied from reality tv to documentaries. From the sounds of it, he was watching something in a foreign language. He caught his fiance's attention, 

"Oh, Alexander. I've missed you, please sit down and cuddle me?" 

Alec took the space next to Magnus, bringing the older man to his chest. 

"Magnus, I love you."  
Magnus smiled, "And I love you, darling." 

"I went to see a therapist today. I'm sorry I didn't tell you." 

Alec whined when Magnus pulled out his embrace to turn the television off and face him. 

"Alexander, is everything okay?" 

"Everything is fine; I've been feeling more anxious since your accident, and I wanted to understand why. I knew I could talk to you once I understood what I was feeling." 

Magnus let out a sigh of relief, "What did you figure out? That is if you want to share. I know how deep sessions can get. I'm so proud of you for seeking out help." 

"I'm scared that I'll be too much for you in the future. I'm terrified that one way or another that I'll lose you. And that I won't be a good father to our future children." 

"Oh, darling, why would you think that? I know that illnesses get worse as a person ages. I can't predict the future, but only death will take me from you. As for our future children, they will be lucky to have you for a father." 

"What if I get too sick to see their ball games or dance recitals?" 

"I'll FaceTime you, and you won't miss a thing." 

"What if they resent me for being sick all the time?" 

Magnus took Alec's hand, "Even at your worst; you went to every single one of Max's soccer games. You stayed up late helping Izzy study for her finals. Alexander, no matter what happens with your illness, our child is going to love you. Sure, things will be tough, but you'll always have me in your corner."

"Promise?" 

"I promise, now let's make dinner and watch a movie." 

Alec smiled, "Sounds like a plan, as long as I get to hold you." 

They walked towards the kitchen when Alec noticed the mail scattered on the table.  
"You still haven't read your mail?" 

"You try opening letters with one hand in a cast." 

"I can open them for you if you want." 

Magnus gestured to the table, "Please, I only care about letters. I'll deal with the bills some other time." 

Alec grabbed the first letter; it was in a traditional envelope. The name Asmodeus Bane on the return label. 

"Magnus, do you have a relative named Asmodeus?" 

"No, why?" 

"There's a letter here from someone named Asmodeus Bane." 

Magnus dropped the box of pasta he had grabbed from the cupboard. 

"That has to be my birth father's name. My mother told me she gave me his last name but never told me anything about him." 

"Well, I could open it and read it to you. If you want?" 

Alec watched the internal battle inside Magnus' mind expressed on his face. When his fiance nodded his head, Alec opened the envelope. He cleared his throat before reading what was on the page. 

**_"Dear Magnus,_**

**_I'd like to preface this letter by telling you how sorry I am. I've spent your entire life not knowing you existed because I was petty. Your mother and I had a fling before she married. I loved her and thought she loved me in return, but one morning she said our relationship was a mistake. She was to marry a man of her father's choosing that summer, and didn't think much of our relationship. I didn't understand; I was heartbroken but respected her wishes. I have no idea what you know, for all I know she’s never mentioned me. I moved to the UK not long after we parted ways, I couldn't bare to see her with another man. She managed to send me a letter a week before her wedding, and my pride kept me from opening it. Until about a week ago, the envelope caught dust in a desk drawer. Curiosity got the better of me and once again, I'm heartbroken. She wrote me to inform me that she was pregnant with you. Told me that if I wanted to be in your life; she wouldn't stop me. I understand if you want nothing to do with me, because of my ego I was absent from your life. If by chance, you want to know me, I left my business card in the envelope._ **

**_I don't even know you, but I love you. I hope to hear from you soon._ **

**_Sincerely,  
Asmodeus Bane _ **

Alec put the letter down, and immediately pulled Magnus into a hug. He could tell Magnus was in shock, because he didn't make a sarcastic comment or tell a stupid joke. 

"Hey, babe, are doing alright?" 

"I have no idea how I feel right now, Alexander. Can we table it for now? I need dinner and a martini." 

Alec scowled, "No drinking while on pain meds. You know the rules Magnus, your arm is healing." 

"Fine, then we are eating ice cream for dessert. All of the ice cream." 

"You know I love you, and I'll support any decision you make?" 

Alec's heart rate sped up when he saw Magnus' smile. 

"Of course, Alexander. Always, and forever. Come on, let's make dinner." 

Alec let Magnus pull him into the kitchen, but he was curious about what Magnus' decision would be. He loved his fiance more than words could express, he wanted to protect him from more pain. Alec was going to look into this Asmodeus Bane guy and make sure he wasn't bad news. Nobody was going to hurt the man he loved, not without walking over his cold, dead body. Magnus had suffered enough in his 28 years, and Alec would see to it that he'd suffer no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asmodeus will be a good guy in this story. There are already too many crappy dads in this AU hahaha
> 
> #SaveShadowhunters


	24. Of Fathers and Sons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Magnus meet Asmodeus? How does he feel about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is FINALLY here. Thank you to anyone who is still with me. I'm sorry; I took on too many projects and this took a backseat. I promise I don't abandon fics, it just takes longer to post. 
> 
> Also, my Gastroparesis started to act up, and I've been seeing a new doctor. Like Alec; I sometimes push past my breaking point. 
> 
> Take care of yourselves.

The following evening Alec and Magnus sat at the dining room table; huddled around Alec's laptop. Alec watched Magnus run the business card through his fingers. 

"We can throw the card away, and never talk about this again." 

Magnus sighed, "I've always wanted to know about my birth father. If you had a father that wasn't Robert Lightwood, wouldn't you want to know more about the person?" 

"You have a point. I only worry about you, babe. I don't want him to hurt you. We haven't had the best of luck with paternal figures." 

Alec's heart melted at the sound of Magnus' laugh. 

"That's an understatement, Alexander, " Mangus looked away, "I hope he's not a jerk." 

"We'll do a quick Google search, and if you want, I can have Mom look into him."

"She and I already had a conversation about him this morning, and I have a feeling she has already finished a background check on the poor guy."

Alec reached for Magnus' hand still fidgeting with the business card, "It's okay to hope for a good outcome, Magnus. I'm with you every step of the way. You had my back through my diagnosis; our whole family is behind you."

"Alright, let's do this." 

Alec typed "Asmodeus Bane" into the search bar. Magnus gasped when he saw the images of the man. Alec could understand, the man was slender and used a cane for balance. Asmodeus looked powerful; it didn't surprise Alec in the least. 

"Alexander, we have the same eyes." 

Alec didn't mention it often, but at times there were specks of a golden color in Magnus' eyes. He always assumed it was the lighting playing tricks, but Asmodeus' eyes had the same pattern. The headlines read, "Small time actor turned restaurant chain owner, Asmodeus Bane donates money to various LGBT charities."  
"Owner of the successful restaurant chain 'Edom' plans to open nightclubs." 

Alec kept scanning for a negative headline, but couldn't find one. He glanced over at his fiance, trying to gauge how he was feeling. Magnus was silent, and that alone made Alec uneasy. 

"Babe, what are you thinking?"

Magnus sighed, "My biological father seems like a decent human being, and I was stuck growing up with the jackass my mother married. I'm not sure how to feel about this, Alexander. I want to be angry at him for letting his pride get the better of him, but I have a suspicion I got that quality from him."

Alec reached for Magnus and pulled him into his lap. He kissed the older man's temple, "You're allowed to be angry. Do you want to meet him? He did give you his number. Whatever you decided, I'll support you."

"I think I should at least give him a chance. Do you think he'll like me?" 

Before Alec could answer, there was a knock at the door. 

"Do you think if we don't make a sound they'll assume we aren't home?" 

Alec laughed at the idea, "Knowing our family; they'd break the door down to make sure nothing happened to us." 

Magnus whined when Alec pushed for him to get off his lap. He knew Magnus loved cuddling, especially when upset. The pout on Magnus' face almost made him stop heading towards the door. 

"Babe, put that pout away," the knocking became louder, "see they won't go away. You can get all the cuddles you want later." 

"I'm holding you to that, Alexander." 

Alec groaned when he opened the door to Jace, Clary, Izzy, and Simon on the other side. News traveled fast in the Lightwood family; apparently, his mother was spilling all the secrets. 

"What can I do for you guys? Magnus and I were in the middle of something." 

Izzy pushed past Alec as she pulled Simon in with her, "We know, Mom told us. Magnus was there for us during a difficult time. We are a family." 

"Yeah, Alec, you can't keep him to yourself," Clary chimed in following Izzy towards the living room. 

"But he's my fiance!" 

Jace laughed, "Don't resist it, man. Resistance is futile." 

"Did you make a Star Trek reference?" 

The horrified look on Jace's face made the situation better. 

"You've been spending too much time with Simon." 

"Say a word, and I'll end you, Lightwood." 

Alec heard Magnus laugh from the living room, while he planned to spend the evening alone with his fiance; spending it with family wasn't a bad alternative. 

Izzy saw him first as he entered the room with Jace. 

"Now that we are all here; it's time to discuss the situation." 

"Isabelle, there's nothing to discuss it. I finally know who my biological is, really it's no big deal." 

Clary reached for Magnus' unbroken hand, "Magnus, it is a big deal, and I understand how you're feeling."

"With all due respect, biscuit..." 

Clary cut him off, "My mom lied about who my real father was. She claimed he died a hero, but instead, he's a coward serving time in prison." 

That was news to Alec; he was never close to his future sister-in-law, but he assumed Jace would have mentioned it. 

"Oh, biscuit." 

"I'm fine now, but I wasn't at the time. Jace stood by me when I wanted to meet him in person. My father is Valentine Morgenstern."

That wasn't what Alec expected to hear. Everyone knew about Valentine Morgenstern, the cult leader who swore to his followers that they needed to change the world. The Circle orchestrated multiple attacks on people who didn't follow their beliefs. Valentine Morgenstern was responsible for the death of Jace's parents. Clary continued, 

"I grew up with Luke as my father, and my mom thought that should be enough." 

Magnus finished her thought, "But you needed to know and make a judgment for yourself?" 

"Yeah." 

The room was silent; the decision was in Magnus' hands. Alec knew this, but he wanted to protect his fiance from more pain. He wasn't there years ago when Camille hurt him; they hadn't met. The quick search into Asmodeus Bane's life showed him to be a good man, but that does not mean it's true. Alec remembered the way the media talked about his father before he attacked his mother. In their eyes, Robert Lightwood was a family man, not the homophobic, cheating bastard the family knew. 

Alec moved to sit in between Clary and Magnus; he pulled the older man onto his lap. Magnus didn't resist, that concerned him. He locked eyes with his sister, and Izzy silently escorted the gang out of the apartment. 

"Babe, what do you need?" 

"Alexander, I'm an adult. I shouldn't be rocked to my core because my father decided to make his presence known. Why is this affecting me this way?" 

Alec sighed, "One of the many things I admire about you is your ability to be open regardless of consequence. How about we take a bath together? We can even use those fizzle things you enjoy so much." 

Magnus looked up with a small smile, "I can't think of a better way to spend the night." 

Alec enjoyed holding Magnus in his arms until the water turned lukewarm, even more so when they cuddled in bed. The feel of Magnus' skin against his was enough to ground him; it was soft under his hand. They could make it through anything. They would survive Asmodeus. He had no doubt.

__________________________________________________________ 

To no one's surprise, Magnus called Asmodeus. He needed to know more about his birth father; he deserved to get all his questions answered. He knew that Alec was in his corner, and that made things easier. Alec would catch him if his father hurt him.

That's how his fiance was, and now he was at a table waiting to meet Asmodeus Bane. He didn't want to travel to the UK in case something happened with Alec's health. Asmodeus more than accommodating to Magnus' requests; he truly wanted to meet his son. The man was making an effort which is more than his step-father did. 

"Excuse me, I believe my son is here waiting for me." 

The voice caused Magnus to look up; he saw the man from all the photographs. His biological father was in the same room, and Raphael would laugh at how nervous he was. 

"Get yourself together, Bane," he muttered under his breath. 

Magnus admired the man's suit, their tastes in clothing were similar. As the hostess brought his father closer to the table, all he heard was his heart beating. The sound synced up with the man's footsteps. 

"Magnus, it's nice to see you in person."

He stood up quickly and extended his hand to his father. 

"Yes, nice to meet you..." 

Asmodeus pulled Magnus in for a hug. Out of all the ways their introduction went in his head, never once did Magnus predict his father would hug him. Asmodeus release a stiff Magnus from his arms. 

"I apologize, I have wanted to do that since I realize you existed. My excitement got the better of me; I should have asked permission to hug you. I'm a stranger to you."

Magnus shook his head, "No, don't apologize. I'm not used to fatherly affection, that's all. My step-father was never the affectionate type." 

"I always had the feeling he wasn't the best choice for your mother, but it was her choice. I have many reasons to apologize. I hope you don't mind that I did some research on you; as I'm sure you did on me."

Magnus laughed, "I did, well not just me. My fiance and his family did a thorough investigation into your life." 

"So, I've passed the test?" 

"You're clean on paper, but I've learned people are more complex than what is in the papers." 

"I'm sure you have questions, fire away."

Asmodeus leaned back into the seat; his exterior was calm. Magnus had many questions, but he went with the obvious question. 

"Do you regret it? I mean, not reading her letter." 

"Yes," the tone of Asmodeus' voice as soft, "I thought of her over the years. I wondered if she was happy. If he made her smile the way I did, or if he cared for her the way I wanted to." 

"He didn't make her happy, he never tried. When she died, he removed all proof she existed. He never treated me as his son. She told me before she died that he wasn't my biological father."

Asmodeus reached for Magnus' hand across the table, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. My pride got in the way of my son's happiness. I'll take that shame with me, but you're happy, right?" 

"There were times I thought I didn't deserve happiness, but I am happy. I met someone who changed my perspective. I saw you donated to LGBT charities. Do you support our rights, or do you like good press?" 

"I'm bisexual, like yourself, so I do support the rights of our community. What else do you want to know?" 

"Are you happy?" 

Magnus can tell he shocked his father. The smirk fell from his face, and his eyes looked to the left as if he was trying to make a tough decision. 

"Yes, I'm happy. I can't say I've always been happy, but I have a great appreciation for life."

Magnus smiled, "I didn't know what to expect when I met you. It took days to decide to call you." 

"Do you regret it?" 

"No, I can tell you're sincere. I think we could have a good father-son relationship." 

"I've never been a father, but I'll do my best." 

"I've never had a father, so I'll try my best to be the son you wanted." 

"Being yourself is enough for me," Asmodeus smiled, "Has anyone ever told you, that you look like your mother? You have my eyes, but the rest of you is all her." 

Magnus breathed in, deeply. He had someone in his life who could talk about his mom. A person who knew her. Did he know how much she loved to dance? Or how her hair always smelled like coconut? Did he remember the sound of her voice? Magnus had forgotten how it sounded over the years. 

"Magnus? Did I say something wrong?" 

He shook his head, "No, I got caught up in my head. And no, the only person in my life who knew Mom is my step-father. We don't talk about her. I like that you talk about her, even though she broke your heart." 

"Your mother was bound by duty. She could never remove herself from it. And I knew her well; we spent nights talking about our passions. I can say, without a shadow of a doubt that she'd be so proud of the man you've become." 

Magnus was almost too swept up in emotion to hear his phone ding. He glanced over at it to see a message. 

_**From Izzy: Magnus, something's wrong with Alec. We are heading to the hospital. Meet us after your lunch. Alec didn't want to interrupt.** _

He stands up, "I'm sorry to cut this short before we even order, but my fiance is on the way to the hospital." 

"Do you need a ride? I can drop you off. My hotel is near the hospital. It wouldn't be any trouble at all." 

Magnus didn't have to think, "Yes, let's go." 

_On my way, Darling. Please be nothing serious._


End file.
